Barney Miller (TV Series)
The Rand Report (1977)
Max Gail: Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz
Photos
Quotes
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Det. Ron Harris : Man... Man... Man did you read this? Did you read the latest issue of Newsweek ?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : No, was I suppose to ?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey Barn, did you... read this report from the RAND Corporation for the Law Enforcement Assistance Administration ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh yeah, I know this report
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What's it say ?
Det. Ron Harris : It says that uniform cops do all the work and the Detectives are a waste of money .
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Your kidding
Capt. Barney Miller : Everyone is entitled to their opinion
Det. Ron Harris : Yeah, the last time they had an opinion they laid off 3,000 cops .
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Whose this RAND Corporation ?
Det. Ron Harris : It's a company, that don't make nothing
Capt. Barney Miller : It's called a "think tank" ?
Det. Ron Harris : Ah, a bunch of guys, they lay on a beach out there in California, thinking about something and then they write a report and make a million dollars
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Sounds like a perfect dream
Capt. Barney Miller : "Detectives spend an inordinate time polishing their image"
Det. Ron Harris : Huh, Do you believe that ?
Capt. Barney Miller : "They spend almost as much time shuffling paper as they do cracking cases."... Here..."If Detectives, who are the elite members of the police force don't solve most of the crimes, who does ?"
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Oh yeah, I'd like to know, who does ?
Capt. Barney Miller : "Principally, the much maligned cop on the beat"
Det. Ron Harris : Oh man, who ever maligned the cop on the beat
Officer Carl Levitt : Good Morning, Detectives
Det. Ron Harris : Without good cause
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, okay, we'll be right there. Barn, Burglary in Progress over at the Canford Arms Hotel
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, Harris go with Wojo
Det. Ron Harris : Why me? I haven't finihed polishing my image
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : You notice when there's trouble, who they call
Officer Carl Levitt : Hey, it wasn't me who tipped them off.
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : It will be okay. I mean it's just a temporary thing and I figured why throw away a career on a quick, dumb decision... I'll stick it out... Heck, maybe... maybe... it will make me a better cop
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Hey, Good Morning Barn
Capt. Barney Miller : Good Morning gentlemen, another day another collar . One might expect atleast a chuckle if only in deference to my rank
[Dietrich chuckles]
Capt. Barney Miller : Thank you
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : It's funny