Barney Miller (TV Series)
The Psychiatrist (1976)
Hal Linden: Capt. Barney Miller
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Barney Miller : That was division commander.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Uh-huh
Capt. Barney Miller : Pending further inquiry, you've been suspended from field duty.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : You're kidding.
Capt. Barney Miller : I wish I were. That psychiatrist who did the evaluation on you has recommended that you be restricted to-- To desk duty and that you turn in your gun.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : But what for? Barney, that's crazy. Of course it's crazy. And it's not the end of it.
Capt. Barney Miller : Temporarily you are considered a risk.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Barney, that's crazy.
Capt. Barney Miller : Of course it's crazy. And it's not the end of it.
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Capt. Barney Miller : I just got off the phone with Internal Affairs. They want to see you downtown.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What for?
Capt. Barney Miller : Seems our friend Speigelgass wasn't kidding. He's filed formal charges. Coercion, intimidation, threatening the well-being of a suspect.
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Capt. Barney Miller : To each his own. That's the name of that test.
Dr. Esterhazy : Captain Miller, may I see you a moment, please?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Watch it. He's tricky.
Dr. Esterhazy : Sit down, Captain Miller. I assume you're familiar with this test. It's really very simple.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, I don't mind taking, uh, part in your survey, doctor, but we do have a lot of work to do around here.
Dr. Esterhazy : It won't take very long and I appreciate your cooperation. Now, these cards will suggest certain images to you. Just feel free to loosely associate your impressions. Card Number 1, please.
Capt. Barney Miller : Have you come to any conclusions yet, doctor? I mean, about the men?
Dr. Esterhazy : Yes I have, to some degree.
Capt. Barney Miller : And they are?
Dr. Esterhazy : I don't think I can discuss them now.
Capt. Barney Miller : I'm gonna see that report sooner or later
Dr. Esterhazy : Card Number 1, please.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh, it's my understanding that the conclusions from this test varies from doctor to doctor.
Dr. Esterhazy : Somewhat, yes. Uh, Card Number 1.
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, doctor, I have a very vivid imagination. I can see a hundred images in any one of these cards, ranging from the horrifying to the idyllic, from the ridiculous to the sublime because that's the way I look at life, particularly in the mood I'm in right now.
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Det. Phil Fish : What do you mean you don't issue new policies to persons my age?... Oh, really?... Would you care for a suggestion of what to do with that rock of yours?... Hello?
Capt. Barney Miller : No luck, huh?
Det. Phil Fish : Nobody'll cover me. Oh, if Bernice finds out I don't have any insurance, it would kill her. And she's not covered either.