"Barney Miller" The Child Stealers (TV Episode 1980) Poster

(TV Series)

(1980)

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7/10
Surprise revelations, plus Richard Libertini as a time traveler
kevinolzak24 June 2014
"The Child Stealers" brings back Jack DeLeon's Marty Morrison (seventh of eight appearances) and his companion Darryl Driscoll (Ray Stewart, fourth of five), asking Captain Miller to look into a child custody case wherein Driscoll is being denied visitation rights by his 10 year old son's mother (Joanna Miles). Since there's nothing Barney can do, Driscoll takes matters into his own hands, trying to kidnap the boy off the basketball court at school. As it turns out, Mrs. Driscoll really objects to her ex-husband's wealth and prestige, which makes her feel less adequate with a child who takes after his father. Wojo questions why he would give up a wife and family for a male partner, not giving heterosexuality 'a fair shake' (Driscoll: "the point is, I was just going through the motions" Wojo: "well I do that...sometimes!"). Mrs. Driscoll questions the activities that 'these people' get up to, prompting a surprise revelation from Officer Zatelli (Dino Natali, fourth of five), who reveals that he too is gay (a stunned Levitt stands up!). A call about a suicidal jumper turns out to be Adam Boyer (Richard Libertini, last of three), claiming to be a time traveler from the year 2037 AD, a historian doing research into the late 1900s. Harris listens to his advice about ways to invest his newfound book royalties (zinc rather than gold), and is delighted to hear that lawyers were outlawed in 1998 (Harris: "no kiddin'!" Boyer: "yes, yes, all legal matters are handled by realtors!").
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