Barney Miller (TV Series)

Altercation (1982)

Ron Glass: Det. Ron Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Det. Ron Harris : The Contract Negotiation, I tell you, it is the most important part of the writing process.

  Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I thought it was writing

  Det. Ron Harris : Yeah, that's what most people think.

• Det. Ron Harris : Look Barney, It's just things were going so well... I mean, the book deal and everything else, and then he shows up and start talking about re-opening the lawsuit, attaching my earnings? Suddenly, Barn, I saw the whole thing starting all over again and I had to do something to stop it !

  Capt. Barney Miller : The best you can come up with is a punch him in the mouth ?

  Det. Ron Harris : I ruled out my revolver .

  Capt. Barney Miller : Harris, this is not funny. If once in your life, you would stop and consider the consequences of your action before you took them, things like this wouldn't happen.

  Det. Ron Harris : Take it easy, Barney. I mean, I'm the one who punched Ripner, and I'm the one who pays the price. I'm the one who goes on modified duty. And I am the one brought up on charges

  Capt. Barney Miller : And I'm the one up for Deputy Inspector.

  Det. Ron Harris : But enough of me !

• Det. Ron Harris : Look, you don't need any affidavits, I hit you, and I'll testify to that. As a matter of fact, if you want , I'll stand up in court and hit you again.

• Det. Ron Harris : Look, I'm sorry that I hit you Arnold. No one has the right to use physical violence against another human being and I give you my word that it will probably never happen again.

• Capt. Barney Miller : Thank you, I'm glad we could get that settled.

  Det. Ron Harris : Oh yeah, me too !

  Capt. Barney Miller : I also owe you an apology. You were the one in trouble, I, uh... My main concern should not have been how it affected my prospects for promotion.

  Det. Ron Harris : That's true.

  Capt. Barney Miller : I should have been upset at the fact that you did a stupid and childish thing.

  Det. Ron Harris : Oh, Thank you.

  Capt. Barney Miller : I mean that .

  Det. Ron Harris : I mean that .

• Arnold Ripner : I am just waiting to interview Mr. Hackett, and get a sworn affidavit.

  Det. Ron Harris : Look, you don't need any affidavits, I hit you, and I'll testify to that. As a matter of fact, if you want , I'll stand up in court and hit you again.

  Arnold Ripner : That won't be necessary.

  Det. Ron Harris : In fact, why wait for any trials? Why don't I just give it to you all now? The watch, the rings,

  [points to his teeth] 

  Det. Ron Harris : I got some gold back here.

  Arnold Ripner : [mortified]  What's the matter with you, man? Where's your dignity?

  Det. Ron Harris : But I want you to know this going into it, what you see is what I got, so you can forget about hitting another big jackpot, because buddy, you ain't getting a cent this time!

  Arnold Ripner : I didn't get a cent last time!

  Det. Ron Harris : What?

  Arnold Ripner : Oh sure, I won a big settlement, minus court costs, minus attorney fees, you know what a great attorney costs? They got the cash, I got the bric-a-brac.

  Det. Ron Harris : Yeah?

  Arnold Ripner : What do you think I'm doing back here scrounging around for clients? I took it in the SHORTS, Buster!

  Det. Ron Harris : Yeah!

  [laughs] 

  Arnold Ripner : You have a very disturbed sense of humor.

  [Harris laughs even harder] 

• Capt. Barney Miller : Your still here Arnold, I figure you would be out filing your lawsuit.

  Arnold Ripner : Don't rush me, I maybe rethinking some of my options.

  Capt. Barney Miller : Oh !

  Arnold Ripner : I mean, with my demanding schedule of client conferences and court appearances, and with a compassionate view towards the previous shellacking I gave Sergeant Harris, I might agree not to proceed with any further criminal or civil actions

  Det. Ron Harris : Oh !

  Arnold Ripner : And instead, except Sergeant Harris personal apology and a thousand dollars.