- Lucille Bluth: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
- Michael Bluth: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services and, although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child - and I would suggest saying what you just said to me, don't change a word - they will take him back.
- George Michael Bluth: [George Michael is in love with his ethics teacher] I don't want to let down Miss Baerly. She's nice, you know?
- Lindsay Funke: She's interesting... and pretty?
- George Michael Bluth: Well, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I guess there's just some things you can't always say to your dad.
- Lindsay Funke: Ah. sounds like you'd like her to be more than just your teacher.
- Narrator: Lindsay believed that George Michael wanted to fix up his father so he could fill the role of his mother.
- Lindsay Funke: There's nothing wrong with that. Although... I must say I'm a little hurt that you haven't considered me.
- George Michael Bluth: You're my aunt.
- Lindsay Funke: That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role. Teachers can fill that role. And, someday, you're going to find the right woman to fill that role. But until then... I'll be right across the hall.
- Narrator: Lindsay had never been more proud of anything she had said in her entire life.
- George Michael Bluth: Yikes.
- [Michael reveals that George Michael has a crush on Beth]
- Beth Baerly: He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning
- Michael: No, no, I covered that. I told him that you slept with my brother.
- Beth Baerly: That may be the most unethical thing I've ever heard.
- Michael: Well, you've only been doing this half a semester. Look, it was a preemptive strike. My brother would have *tried* to sleep with you.
- Michael: I'm afraid that I'll have to stop seeing you.
- [she giggles, thinking it's a joke]
- Michael: I mean, I've enjoyed our time together, but I...
- Beth Baerly: You're serious? This isn't one of your "wife died" jokes?
- Michael: No, I'm afraid this is serious.
- Michael: [after the PTA meeting] Right and wrong. How can one thing be right and the other be wrong? I guess that's the
- [growl]
- Michael: of it.
- Beth Baerly: [in high spirits] Yeah. They just kinda threw this class at me after Mr. Daniel's had a stroke.
- Michael: [laughs] I had him! That's someth... Well, how is he?
- Beth Baerly: Oh, well, he... had a stroke.
- Michael: Oh, I thought you were kidding.
- Beth Baerly: No, I was just laughing 'cause you were laughing.
- Michael: Oh.
- [beat]
- Michael: [growl]
- [they both laugh]
- Michael: Let me ask you an ethical question. Is it ethical to ask a teacher out for a drink?
- Beth Baerly: I don't know. Is there a wife?
- Michael: Yeah, but she's dead.
- Beth Baerly: [laughing over the "joke"] Have you ever married?
- Michael: Yeah. She died.
- Beth Baerly: Oh, I'm sorry. Why are we laughing?
- Michael: I don't know. It's... Mr. Daniel's stroke all over again.
- [nervous laughing]
- Michael: Let's go get that drink.
- Beth Baerly: Yeah.
- Michael: [growl]
- Michael: Hey, Linds, is it my imagination, or does this rape room have the same floor plan as our kitchen?