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Are You Being Served? (TV Series)
The Clock (1974)
Frank Thornton: Captain Peacock
Photos
Quotes
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Captain Peacock : [talking about the menu for Mr. Grainger's anniversary dinner] A main course, which I shall bring up later.
Mrs. Slocombe : Won't we all?
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Mr. Mash : [announcing Captain Peacock's arrival] Captain Stephen Peacock! RASC, C of E, hero of the Battle of Catterick NAAFI, holder of the Hot Cross Bun and Bar...
Captain Peacock : [cuts him off in irritation] That will do, Mr Mash.
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[Captain Peacock is reading the list of possible entrees for Mr. Grainger's anniversary dinner and voting on what to have for dinner]
Captain Peacock : Now, roast pheasant would be two pounds per head. Poule rôti...
Miss Brahms : You what?
Captain Peacock : Roast chicken. One pound fifty. Steak pie, one pound twenty five. Or macaroni cheese, one pound.
Mr. Lucas : I vote for macaroni cheese.
Mrs. Slocombe : [later] We can't give the poor old soul a dinner with macaroni cheese!
Mr. Lucas : Well he'd prefer it. Once he gets those teeth of his stuck into a pheasant, he'd be here all night.
Mr. Humphries : If we have the canteen steak pie, we'll all be here all night.
Miss Brahms : I'll go for the macaroni cheese, meself.
Mrs. Slocombe : Well, I think we should give him the chicken.
Captain Peacock : Any other votes for chicken?
Mr. Humphries : Yes, I'll go for chicken. It goes so well with the cabinet pudding and simulated cream.
Captain Peacock : Well, I... I favor chicken myself. So that's three votes for chicken, and two for macaroni cheese.
Mr. Humphries : And the steak pie loses its deposit.
Captain Peacock : So. ah... that means we have chicken. That will be ah... one pound fifty per head.
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[first lines]
Captain Peacock : Can I help you, Sir?
The Check Jacket : Ah, yes. Would you show me some sports jackets, please?
Captain Peacock : I won't personally, Sir. But I'll summon our senior assistant to attend to your wishes. Mr. Grainger, are you free?
Mr. Grainger : Oh, yes, I'm free.
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Captain Peacock : Mr. Humphries, are you free?
Mr. Humphries : Yes, I'm free, Captain Peacock.
Captain Peacock : Mr. Lucas, are you free?
Mr. Lucas : Err, yes, I think I am free at this precise moment, Captain Peacock.
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Captain Peacock : Now, as regards to dress, I think, err, black tie.
Mr. Humphries : What? And nothing else?
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Mrs. Slocombe : [drunk] Well, Captain Peacock, it looks at though we're going to be able to trip the tight lanfastic.
Captain Peacock : I beg your pardon?
Mr. Humphries : She wants you to rip her tight elastic.
[Mrs. Slocombe laughs]
Captain Peacock : Er, perhaps you'd better sit down, Mrs. Slocombe; we're starting in less than an hour...
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Young Mr. Grace : You've all done very well.
Captain Peacock , Miss Brahms , Mrs. Slocombe , Mr. Humphries , Mr. Grainger , Mr. Lucas , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold , Mr. Mash : Thank you, Mr. Grace.
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[last lines]
Captain Peacock , Mrs. Slocombe , Miss Brahms , Mr. Humphries , Mr. Lucas , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold , Mr. Mash , Mrs. Grainger : For he's a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us.
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Captain Peacock : [looking at the remains of the Pussy boots display model, which has just exploded] Mr. Mash, take it to the vet!
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Captain Peacock : The group is coming up in the other lift.
Miss Brahms : Oh, good. Who've we got, the New Seekers?
[a group of older ladies holding string instruments emerges from the lift]
Mr. Lucas : I don't think it's the New Seekers, love. More like the Old Knockers.