- [Mr. Grainger has just apologized for his rude behaviour towards the staff]
- Mr. Dick Lucas: Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
- Captain Stephen Peacock: Our colleague has just uttered the most difficult words in the English language: I'm sorry.
- Mrs. Slocombe: Well, it's his own fault.
- Captain Stephen Peacock: That's what makes it so difficult.
- Mrs. Slocombe: You know, it's the sort of thing that saints do. I wonder if he's had some spiritual awakening. You know, it's the sort of thing that happened to Saint Joan when them soldiers lit them faggots under her feet.
- Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: That was enough to make anybody sit up and take notice!
- Mrs. Slocombe: There you are, madam: I hope the garment gives every satisfaction
- Corset Customer: And you really think this type of corset will keep my figure under control?
- Mrs. Slocombe: Well, the stiffeners are the best quality whale bone
- Corset Customer: Yes, but will they be strong enough?
- Mrs. Slocombe: Well, they're strong enough for the whale!