- Barney Fife: I don't know how I can face the future when I know there's eight quarts of these pickles in it!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: No chance of getting Aunt Bee's old pickles back, is there?
- Barney Fife: They're scattered from Oregon to Nova Scotia.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somehow, between now and the contest, we gonna have to eat up all the store pickles that Aunt Bee's got on hand.
- Barney Fife: Why don't we get rid of them the same way we got rid of the others?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: No, no, that won't work. See, she's gotta see them pickles disappear and she's gotta see us likin' them so much that she'll wanna make another batch.
- Barney Fife: I gotta tell ya, my heart ain't in this!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, it's not so much your heart we need, it's your stomach.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Sixteen jars. Well, there's only one thing to do. That's what we shoulda done in the first place.
- Barney Fife: You mean...
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Learn to love 'em.
- Barney Fife: [Barney sits down to have some toast and jelly with Andy when they both smell something] You been doin' some paintin' in here?
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: No. No, probably just some glue Opie's usin' on model airplanes.
- Barney Fife: No, don't smell like glue to me. Smells more like ammonia.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You don't reckon that gas stove's leakin' do you?
- Barney Fife: [Barney is about to take a bite of his toast and suddenly recoils] I found it!
- [points to the jelly]
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Aunt Bee was in here workin' yesterday.
- Barney Fife: [they open the cupboard to find it filled with jars] Don't tell me Aunt Bee is makin' marmalade now!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Don't just stand there. Get the suitcase!
- Aunt Bee Taylor: Barney, you haven't told us a thing about your trip.
- Barney Fife: What trip? Oh! Oh, the trip. Well, it was just fine, fine. They were just pickled tink to see me.
- Aunt Bee Taylor: I made a double batch this time, you liked my pickles so much. Sixteen jars. And I'll see that you get them every day.