- [Otis, the town drunk, walks into the courthouse and goes to "his cell", where Ronald Bailey is imprisoned]
- Otis Campbell: [seeing Ronald Bailey and slurring his words] Heyyy! Wha' are you doin' in my cell?
- Ronald Bailey: *Your* cell?
- Otis Campbell: That's right! That's been *my* cell for Saturday night for the past umpteen years! So, will you kindly get out?
- Ronald Bailey: [sarcastically] You've got to be kidding me!
- Otis Campbell: I am not kidding you an' if you don't get out, I'm gonna call a p'liceman.
- Ronald Bailey: Will you just leave me alone?
- Otis Campbell: Alright, wise guy!
- [calls out drunkenly]
- Otis Campbell: P'lice! P'lice! P'lice! P'lice!
- [Barney enters, livid, wearing his pajamas]
- Barney Fife: Hey! Cut that racket, will ya!
- [realizes it's Otis]
- Barney Fife: Oh, Otis. It's you.
- [sternly]
- Barney Fife: Do you have to make such a racket?
- Otis Campbell: [pointing at Ronald] Officer, arrest this man!
- Barney Fife: [confused] *What*?
- Otis Campbell: [slurring, jabbing a finger into Barney's chest] He's trespassin' on my property! A citizen's property must be protected from prowlers an' criminals! That's the law!