- Andy must protect Aunt Bee from a charming traveling dishonest huckster whose 170-proof "tonic" provides temporary relief from mid-life crisis.
- The sudden death of Augusta Finch, an acquaintance her own age, puts Aunt Bee in touch with her mortality. While listlessly walking home (otherwise irascible), she comes upon the charismatic and charming Colonel Harvey, an engaging street huckster hawking a cure-all elixir that improves the quality of life. She's so taken with him and his smooth spiel that she buys two bottles and invites him over for a home-cooked meal. Soon after, Andy and Barney, too, meet the man but find him suspicious, even though his paperwork is in order. By the time Barney gets Andy home, though, Bee's at the piano having a good old time singing songs loudly with Opie (and a little unsteady on her feet). If it was anyone else they'd say she was tiddly. That's when Barney finds a half-empty bottle of elixir, in which testing later reveals a high alcohol content. Andy now has cause to arrest Colonel Harvey, but he must tread carefully so that Aunt Bee will see the flimflam man for what his is and not be heartbroken, disbelieving, unforgiving and spiteful when they arrest him. As Colonel Harvey will be speaking to Bee's Ladies Aid Church Committee, a raid is just the answer.
- Barney has acquired a picture of Rock Hudson; armed with a small mirror, a comb, and some hair tonic, he does his best to make himself look like the movie star. His attempts at looking handsome are interrupted by Aunt Bee, who enters the courthouse in a state of near-collapse and sits in a chair. Barney, thinking she's seriously ill, immediately starts ministering to her, not listening when she tries to stop him and explain what the problem actually is. Andy enters while this is going on and manages to calm Barney down and get the truth out of Aunt Bee. Augusta Finch, an acquaintance of Aunt Bee's, died suddenly earlier that morning, and it has left her in a state of shock. Andy is confused, as Miss Finch was not a particular friend of the family and Aunt Bee's carrying-on seems inordinate - that is, until Aunt Bee explains that what has upset her is Miss Finch was exactly the same age as her, and she is naturally upset thinking about this connection.
Andy tries to calm Aunt Bee down by reminding her that Miss Finch had been a very sickly woman all her life, while Aunt Bee has not. Aunt Bee retorts that she does not complain as much as Miss Finch but she has the typical aging complaints of aches, pains, tiredness, and so forth. Andy suggests Aunt Bee visit Dr. Andrews, but she is enraged by the suggestion because the last time he saw her he insulted her by saying "We're no spring chickens anymore." She storms out of the courthouse in a huff, refusing Barney's suggestion she should rest some more.
En route to the house, Aunt Bee is stopped by Opie, because he wants to show her the man he saw talking about Indians and cowboys; however, when they arrive at the man in question, Colonel Harvey, it turns out he's not giving a speech but hawking a cure-all tonic of a special Indian recipe. Opie is disgusted and returns home, but Aunt Bee stays to listen. Colonel Harvey talks at length about how he spent time among Indians and was taught various healing nostrums, which are great for prolonging and improving the quality of life. Aunt Bee is so enamored by the prospect she buys two bottles on the spot. She stays after the rest of the crowd has gone to thank Colonel Harvey, whom she has a slight crush on, and invites him to dinner. He flatters her, accepts and kisses her hand, and she returns home all in a flutter.
Later, Andy and Barney come across Colonel Harvey peddling his wares and watch his pitch. Andy interrupts, after a moment, to ask to see Colonel Harvey's credentials. He produces paperwork licensing him to sell his wares and perform pitches on the street, and insists there is nothing medicinal in his elixir that would require a pharmaceutical license of any sort, showing them the ingredient list on the bottle as proof. Andy and Barney still feel iffy about him, but as everything is in order, they have no reason to stop him. Barney laments this, as he's almost certain Colonel Harvey was up to no good, but he hasn't even parked his trailer in front of a fire hydrant - he seems the most law-abiding salesman they've seen, so they leave him to it, and go on their way.
On arriving at Andy's house, both he and Barney are shocked to discover Opie and Aunt Bee singing loudly while Aunt Bee plays the piano. Andy hasn't seen Aunt Bee touch her piano in years, and it seems odd, given her state-of-being earlier in the day. Aunt Bee also seems inordinately happy - at the end of the song, she spins round on the piano stool, but then afterwards seems to be dizzy and unable to properly stand up. She tells Andy and Barney she's met the most wonderful person and invited him to dinner. She tells Opie to fetch her apron from the kitchen but then tells him to never mind as she's headed that way herself. Suddenly noticing Barney, she expresses concern, as she only laid places for four and not five, but Andy explains he isn't staying. He just dropped Andy off. Aunt Bee tells Barney not to be such a stranger then unsteadily makes her way to the kitchen. A crash heralds a broken dish and Andy sends Opie to make sure everything's okay.
As soon as he and Barney are alone, they confer quickly - lots of signs seem to point to Aunt Bee being intoxicated; however, they know for a fact that she doesn't let alcohol in the house, ever, so it doesn't really make sense. As they are unable to arrive at any sort of solution, Barney takes his leave, stopping to get his raincoat from the closet en route. In doing so, he discovers the two bottles of Colonel Harvey's elixir in the closet, one of which is a little over half empty.
Andy takes a look at the evidence, saying "Sure looks like she took the adult dose," but doesn't want to accuse anyone without full proof, so he sends Barney with one bottle for Dr. Andrews to analyze. After Barney leaves, Andy tries to get Aunt Bee to tell him who their guest is but she's in too much of a dither. Finally, Colonel Harvey arrives, and he is less than pleased to discover there is a policeman in Aunt Bee's house; however, he recovers quickly, and proceeds to charm everyone with his stories and courtly manner. Andy, however, remains suspicious and, when left alone with Colonel Harvey (as Bee prepares after-dinner coffee), tries to ask him what's in the elixir; however, every time he says "Let me ask you...," Colonel Harvey goes off on another tangent of conversation before he can finish, which arouses Andy's suspicions still further. Aunt Bee returns and asks Colonel Harvey to stay in Mayberry one extra day as a guest speaker before the Ladies Aid Church Committee that meets at her house tomorrow. Colonel Harvey deems it a privilege and readily accepts.
The next morning, Barney comes in with the results of the lab testing. The elixir is 85% alcohol. Barney, infuriated, is all for running Colonel Harvey out of town on the evidence they have; however, Andy knows Aunt Bee is smitten with him and will be heartbroken when they arrest him and likely not believe or forgive them on just forensic evidence. They need a way to show him up that she'll believe. Barney insists something must be done before the crook skips town, but Andy tells him to relax and let him think, knowing Colonel Harvey is in fact at his house, talking to the Ladies' Committee at this very moment. Barney is horrified, reminding Andy that all the ladies could fall for the sales pitch and get crocked. Andy realizes this is just what he needs.
Barney drops Andy off at his house and drives off (in pursuit of Colonel Harvey, one would suppose). Andy goes in and finds Aunt Bee at the piano and all the other ladies, quite tipsy as well, singing and laughing uproariously. Andy stops the party with a friendly announcement that this is a police raid (Mayberry being a dry county) and they are all being rounded up to jail.
At the jail, Andy has them piled into one cell but not locked in, instead brings them coffee and other things to help them sober up and to treat their hangovers. Once the ladies can understand him and realize they've been drunk, he tells them the elixir is the only thing that could have done it. They realize the truth in this but are horrified just the same. Barney, finally having caught up with Colonel Harvey, uses no delicacy but roughly hauls him into the police station and shoves him across the room into the cell. Andy, having made his point and dethroned Colonel Harvey as a hero, releases the ladies without filing any arrest papers. They all leave, indignant at Colonel Harvey for his tricking them. Aunt Bee is, predictably, heartbroken but realizes what Colonel Harvey actually is and doesn't argue his arrest. Andy tries to cheer her up as they leave the courthouse, adding that he did enjoy her piano playing and will miss it if she decides to stop, adding a suggestion for her to make a rum cake tonight and get back on that piano stool.
The next day, after Aunt Bee caves and sees Dr. Andrews, she returns to the courthouse just to let Andy know the doctor gave her a clean bill of health, but said "We're not spring chickens anymore" again, leaving her irritated as she leaves in a huff.
Barney, making fun of Aunt Bee's hypochondria once she has gone, says "Women - boy, they can talk themselves into anything, can't they?" Andy agrees but, knowing Barney is a hypochondriac himself, decides to have some fun at his expense by vaguely hinting Barney's been looking like he needs a rest. Within minutes Barney has convinced himself he's dangerously ill and calls up Doctor Andrews, much to Andy's amusement.
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