"American Dad!" Rough Trade (TV Episode 2006) - Seth MacFarlane as Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan

Roger the Alien : Hawaii... that's where Japan goes to play golf.
Stan Smith : [watching games shows] This is what Roger does? He just sits here and watches this crap all day? What am I missing?

Klaus : An elevated blood-alcohol content.
Roger the Alien : I've waited my whole life to do this. The finger pyramid of evil contemplation. Feels good.
Roger the Alien : So, were you serious about trading places?

Stan Smith : Hey, you want to start a job, pay the bills, deal with everyone's problems? Be my guest. When it all gets too much for you, I'll be getting drunk up in the attic.
Stan Smith : There's something you should know about me by now, Roger: I don't learn lessons.
Roger the Alien : Cops already? What, are we next door to a freakin' Krispy Kreme?

Stan Smith : You're thinking about donuts now?

Roger the Alien : No, I'm just saying the cops got here fast!

Stan Smith : What the hell do fast cops have to do with a Krispy Kreme?

Roger the Alien : Because cops love donuts!

Stan Smith : You are not making any sense!

[the police car stops as Roger hides in the trunk of Stan's car, then the cop comes out]

Stan Smith : Evening, officer. Is there a...

[vomits right onto the cop's chest, who glares at him, then he's soon after put under house arrest for DUI]
Stan Smith : These chocodiles, these chocodiles, oh my God, Francine, these chocodiles, oh my God!
Stan Smith : Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan