- Archie Bunker: To my son-in-law, Meathead Stivic, I leave my original 48-star American flag leaving out Alaska and Hawaii. To my dear daughter, Gloria Bunker, who I forgive for marrying the above, I leave my personal Living Room chair for her to use as a centerpiece in her own some day living room. To Mrs. Irene Lorenzo, who killed me, to Mrs Irene Lorenzo,
- [gives her a Bronx cheer]
- Oil Man: Mr. Bunker?
- Archie Bunker: Here I am, Lord. This is it.
- [Upon seeing the black oil man, Archie kneels because in his drunken stupor, he thinks the oil man is God.]
- Archie Bunker: Forgive me, Lord, the Jeffersons was right.
- Archie Bunker: [finds a gift box] What's this?
- [pulls out a liquor bottle]
- Archie Bunker: Polish vodka.