All in the Family (TV Series)
Archie Is Branded (1973)
Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker
Photos
Quotes
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Paul : [when the Bunker house is defaced by mistake, Mike and a radical Jewish defender disagree about how to respond] I don't agree with what you say, but I like your chutzpah. Y'know somethin'? One of these days you're gonna find out that this is the only answer.
Paul : [he forms Mike's hand into a fist] Right there.
Mike Stivic : I still think you're wrong. Because this...
Mike Stivic : [He makes his other hand into a fist] ... only gets you this.
Paul : OK, friend. You keep talkin', and I'll do what I have to do. Shalom.
[he leaves]
Edith Bunker : Shalom. What does that mean?
Mike Stivic : Believe it or not, Ma, it means 'Peace'.
Gloria Stivic : Jewish people also use it to say 'Hello' or 'Goodbye'.
Edith Bunker : How do you know which one they mean?
Archie Bunker : Why don't you use your common sense, Edith? If a Jew is comin' at you, it means 'Hello'. If he's goin' the other way, it means 'Goodbye'.
Edith Bunker : [sincerely trying to understand] But when does it mean 'Peace'?
Archie Bunker : Ahhh, Edith, in between 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'.
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Paul : Every person knows that Homo Sapiens is a killer.
Edith Bunker : Homo Sapiens. Is he an Arab?
Archie Bunker : No, Edith. Homo Sapiens. That's a killer fag.
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[last lines]
Archie Bunker : That's Paul. They blew him up in his car.
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Boy Scout : Hey Mister, you know you got your flag hung up wrong?
Archie Bunker : Now listen, Boy Scout - you're talkin' to a veteran of World War II. This is the way we used to hang the flag on the fire.
Boy Scout : You were doin' it wrong. The stars are supposed to go in the other corner. You want me to hang it the right way for ya?
Archie Bunker : Uhhh, yeah yeah, all right. You could do that. But uh, listen - no tip, that ain't a good deed.
Boy Scout : [picks up the flag off the hanger and notices the swastika painted on the door underneath] Hey Mister, you know you got a swastika on your door?
Archie Bunker : Awwwww, sheeeesshhhh... gimme the flag, kid, now GET LOST, HAH?
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Archie Bunker : What's the matter with revenge? It's a perfect way to get even.
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Archie Bunker : The cops are gonna come over and they're gonna have a little investigation.
Edith Bunker : Oh, I better get something to wipe that off the door.
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Archie Bunker : If this is some salesman's gag to get into the house, I tell ya right now, we don't need magazines.
Paul : But you need protection.
Edith Bunker : Is that anything like "Cosmopolitan"?