- Shirley Holmes: So, this "Happy Valley" show when we were growing up... kids watched it every day - by choice?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Well, we were four years old. I can't believe you've never seen the show before this morning.
- Shirley Holmes: When I was four, we were posted in... Paris.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Man, you were really deprived.
- Jenna Martini: Are you all right?
- Bill Marshall: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
- Jenna Martini: Hey, what about me? I'm a sittin' duck in this fish suit.
- Bill Marshall: Bailey's the star, Rich.
- Rudy Pike: Kiss my gills, Jenna. If Bill didn't have this thing about live performance, we could retape or at least stop the camers.
- Bill Marshall: If it ain't live, it ain't livin', sweetheart.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Man, under that mask, Bubbles is a real jerk!
- Shirley Holmes: You were expecting a trout?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: What are you looking for?
- Shirley Holmes: This! Somebody rigged this to the clamp so that the acid would drop out at a controlled rate and they could time precisely when the light would fall.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Who would want to do something like that?
- [Shirley stares at Jenna, Bill and Rich who are throwing accusations at each other]
- Shirley Holmes: That's the question... isn't it?
- Bill Marshall: Jenna, you have to listen to them.
- Jenna Martini: Bailey, my sweet-sweet, I have to produce a daily show on a set that's falling apart. I have to work with Rudy because his contract is unbreakable. I have to hire writers who think we're producing the "Robo Rabbit" show because the network thinks they're hip, but I *don't* have to listen to a couple of kids who aren't even in our target audience!
- Bill Marshall: But they have proof that somebody rigged the light to fall - on purpose.
- Jenna Martini: You're not serious.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: [indicating Shirley] She's always serious.
- Shirley Holmes: Anybody who knew the script would know when to rig the light to fall so Bill and Bubbles wouldn't be under it.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: So it must be somebody who worked here... but tons of people have copies of the script.
- Shirley Holmes: Means, motive and opportunity, Bo. We need to know who would have the know-how to rig the light. Have you ever considered a career in television?
- Jenna Martini: Rudy? I know he's jealous of Bill, but actually sabotage the set?
- [Jenna mouths "I don't think so"]
- Shirley Holmes: He has the means and the motive. I suggest we remove his opportunity.
- Jenna Martini: [to Bo] Is she always like this?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Pretty much.
- Jenna Martini: Anne, I want you to tell Albert and Zoe to write Rudy out of tomorrow's show.
- Anne: Rudy's gonna want to know why.
- Jenna Martini: Oh, sure - because I said so! I don't want him anywhere near the set tomorrow, okay?
- Rudy Pike: Bill, I was shocked, shocked, when I heard.
- Bill Marshall: [to Jenna] What's he talking about?
- Jenna Martini: The network made some changes.
- Rudy Pike: Gotta go with the flow, man. Oh, my new producers and I will be on tomorrow with the "Cyber Valley" show starring Rudy Pike and Robo Rabbit. I do get top-billing, right?
- [referring to the Happy Valley insect antennae that many Sussex Academy students are wearing]
- Shirley Holmes: Interesting example of the pop culture phenomenon.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: See, I told you the antennae were cool.
- Shirley Holmes: What makes something cool? How do you define that?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: You can't. You just know if it's cool or it's not.
- [Shirley wants to see the contents of Jenna's file cabinet]
- Shirley Holmes: It's locked!
- [Shirley breaks off a toy insect antennae and uses it to pick the lock]
- Shirley Holmes: [to Bo] Hey, you're right. These are cool!
- [last lines]
- [the video of Bo's impromput appearance playing a watermelon on the "Cyber Valley" program has gone viral on the internet - much to his dismay]
- Shirley Holmes: [narrating] The one and only episode of the Cyber Valley show became a cult hit... in some quarters.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: When is that Y guy going to stop posting that stupid tape?
- Shirley Holmes: I guess when he decides it's not *cool* anymore.
- [the Sussex Academy students watching the program howl with laughter]
- Shirley Holmes: It could be a while.
- [Shirley places the "Happy Valley" insect safari antennae on Bo's head and smiles]