- Sheriff: You must turn the plane around now, or I will be forced to take you all prisoner.
- Faceman: [to sheriff] My amigo! Look, only a week ago I was down here; you said to me, "hombre de carra,"
- [to others listening]
- Faceman: that's, uh 'Faceman' in Spanish.
- [to sheriff]
- Faceman: You said, 'me casa e su casa."
- [to others]
- Faceman: That's 'my house is your house.'
- [to sheriff]
- Faceman: Well, whatever happened to come to my house and be a guest for dinner, whatever happened to all that, amigo mio stuff, huh?
- Hannibal: Does, uh, this guy have a daughter, Face?
- Jenny: [Jenny is the stereotypical "dumb blonde."] Everybody's really angry with you and I don't think it's fair. I mean, you had it all set up. They broke their promises.
- Faceman: Oh, I know, Jenny. I just don't understand it. I lie, I cheat, I steal, and I just don't get any respect!
- [Jenny looks blank]
- Faceman: That's a joke,
- [laughs nervously]
- Faceman: just a little joke.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Murdock: [trying to fly a junk plane Face scammed] Faceman, the wheels won't go up! Faceman, where did you get this plane?
- Charles Lake: [about Murdock] Somebody shut this nut up.
- B.A. Baracus: I've been trying to shut him up for 15 years, can't shut him up, but I'd rather listen to his crazy jibber jabber than you' whine.
- [Landing the clunker plane on a Mexican runway]
- Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: Don't you, uh, don't you usually leave the engines running so you can taxi?
- 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [straining at the controls] Yes, that is my usual procedure, Facey-man. However, we are out of petrol!
- Jenny: It's my first real featured acting role. Eh, I did a 'Love Boat' in May, but I was mostly just background. Except for I did say 'Good Morning Mr. Faskin' to Donald O'Connor out by the pool.
- Faceman: Oh, Jenny, Jenny, say that again!
- Jenny: What, you mean the 'Good morning Mr. Faskin' line?
- Faceman: Yes, yes, just the way you said it before.
- Charles Lake: This is my last monster movie. I swore after 'It Came From Nowhere' I was finished with the slime genre.
- [Faceman has purloined a clunker plane for their trip to Mexico]
- Faceman: Murdock, eh, how does she look?
- Murdock: [angry] This is what we call in Pilot Land, "A coffin with wings!" And it's a good thing that the big angry guy hasn't laid eyes on it or you'd be looking for a soft place to sit, you know what I mean?
- Faceman: Yeah, I know what you mean.
- One Shot: Hey, who's that giant with the mohawk that's passed out in the cabin?
- Faceman: Oh, him! Don't worry about him. He's just there for ballast.
- Jerry: How can we beat these guys with prop weapons and special effects?
- Hannibal: Jer, you never know how clever or stupid the enemy is until you test him!
- Jenny: [speaking to Face] Hey, be careful, okay?
- Faceman: Ah, Careful is my name.
- Hannibal: Lake Charles is your name.
- [Firmly leads Face away from Jenny]
- Faceman: [Face has been looking over the contract to see if he can find a way around Charles quitting the movie] It says here that Lake, Charles T. has to perform the part.
- Jerry: Yes!
- Faceman: Yes.
- Jerry: He just left!
- Faceman: No, no, no, no, Jerry, Charles Lake left, Lake Charles is standing here, looking at ya!
- B.A. Baracus: [to Ramon DeJarro, who's practically pinned against the front of the jeep] Drop your weapon or I hit the gas!