"Der Bernsteinfischer" is a German television frilm from 2005, so this one has its 15th anniversary now this year. It runs for 1.5 hours or slightly under as they always do and the director here is Olaf Kreinsen and the screenplay is by Barbara Engelke. The former is one who really does have some films in his body of work that are not good gently-speaking, but if you look closely enough, you will also find a bit of quality here and there. The same cannot be said about Engelke (not Anke) because pretty much everything she has ever worked on turned out to be a really bad film or series. Embarrassing. This also tells you the tendency for this film. It is a bad watch pretty much from beginning to end. And that is still gently-put. But first things first: The film is based on a novel by Christine Lehmann. You don't need to know her. Neither do I. I have not read said book, so I cannot say if the struggles here are in the base material already that it is just pretty bad or if the big failure happened during the writing of the screenplay. I guess it is a bit of both because looking at how messed-up the outcome here is, I just cannot imagine that the novel is good. Now let me say a few words about the cast: Maybe as a German film buff like myself you have come across Lott and/or Kaufmann in other projects, but the two big stars here are of course the ones who play the two main characters and that would be Sonsee Neu and Heiner Lauterbach with the former probably still being a bit more at the film's center than her male co-lead. I don't think their performances are good either, Neu is probably a bit better still, but then again I always thought Lauterbach to be a pretty overrated actor.
Now in order to show you why this film sucks, I will give you a handful examples of scenes and moments where it just did not work to a level that it did not make any sense. They also really messed up in terms of coincidence here on several occasions. The best example is certainly the fatherhood story they rush in near the end. Of course, Lauterbach's character is the boy's father. Unreal they went down that route honestly. Speak about 100% unrealistic and for the sake of it. Truly uninspired. Speaking of the relationship between Lauterbach's character and the boy, they really messed up from the start when we find out that the two do not really get along or that the boy is a bit scared of the man and keep in mind he grew up there and they constantly saw each other. And yet we are supposed to believe that, all of a sudden, they really get along so incredibly well and warm up to each other. And please don't tell me it is because of Neu's character's influence. Oh well. The film's title also refer to one scene between the boy and the man and they picked up on that quote later on again and I somehow feel the writers really thought they came up with something meaningful and creative there, but boy did they not. The title sounds pretentious and has virtually nothing to do with the story. Next part where the film went really wrong is the story about what happened back then and how Lauterbach's character was tricked by his mentor. But of course the former is humble and man enough to not care about such prestigious awards because he does not need them and is still a confident alpha male anyway, basically the role Lauterbach plays in every film by the way. Oh yeah and the most cringeworthy moment there was probably when we find out the award the mentor received for the photo he did not make himself was something like the biggest award on the planet for photographers. Well, let me say that I have one superlative for you too: contender for suckiest movie of 2005. Next mention goes to Deborah Kaufmann, who was truly bad, maybe the only one from the cast who maked the already bad script even worse. This because especially obvious in these moments at the end of the film when she is a bit of a messenger between the two lovebirds and tells them who is in love with whom. But she has other weak moments as well, such as early on when we find out how much she has the hots for Lauterbach's character. So cringeworthy. Then again, her entire story was a bad joke and honestly disrespectful and almost insulting to people who actually suffer from depression the way it was depicted here. The writer should be embarrassed. But I am sure they are not. Another really terrible moment involving Kaufmann's character was when we see her hug it out with Lauterbach's in the last third of the film and of course this is exactly the moment when her man shows up and is humiliated because he mistakes the two for having an affair or so and goes away. And not much later, there is a similar moment when an ex of the female main character shows up and kisses her all of a sudden and this is exatly the same moment when Lauterbach's character shows up and sees it and is humiliated and walk away. I cannot believe they shoved this cringeworthy moment in our faces not just once, which would already have been hard to excuse, but twice. Apart from that, there are many scenes and moment where this film hits rock-bottom repeatedly. I can think of one specific line by Lauterbach, but I cannot really remember the exact worse and that is probably a good thing if they are forgotten now. Actually this film was so bad atg times that I had to chuckle and laugh even. Disgusted. I wonder how people can actually enjoy this. I could write another 1000 words on moments that sucked, but I won't and just say one more thing about the ending where we do not only get the rushed and forced reunion of the lovebirds, but also a marriage proposal out of nowhere. Oh my, why not tell us that she is pregnant too while you're at it. Terrible, terrible film. One of the very worst from 2005, not just from Germany, but from the entire planet. Also unbearable to stomach how the soundtrack clearly was so over the top and obviously the film took itself really seriously. Highly not recommended and why oh why did you agree to star in here Sonsee, come on? With how she appears otherwise on the really entertaining German version of Curb Your Enthusiasm, she definitely knows what quality television is. "Der Bernsteinfischer" is the exact opposite and they should be ashamed to abuse a beautiful substance like amber for the title of this very not beautiful film. Boo!
Now in order to show you why this film sucks, I will give you a handful examples of scenes and moments where it just did not work to a level that it did not make any sense. They also really messed up in terms of coincidence here on several occasions. The best example is certainly the fatherhood story they rush in near the end. Of course, Lauterbach's character is the boy's father. Unreal they went down that route honestly. Speak about 100% unrealistic and for the sake of it. Truly uninspired. Speaking of the relationship between Lauterbach's character and the boy, they really messed up from the start when we find out that the two do not really get along or that the boy is a bit scared of the man and keep in mind he grew up there and they constantly saw each other. And yet we are supposed to believe that, all of a sudden, they really get along so incredibly well and warm up to each other. And please don't tell me it is because of Neu's character's influence. Oh well. The film's title also refer to one scene between the boy and the man and they picked up on that quote later on again and I somehow feel the writers really thought they came up with something meaningful and creative there, but boy did they not. The title sounds pretentious and has virtually nothing to do with the story. Next part where the film went really wrong is the story about what happened back then and how Lauterbach's character was tricked by his mentor. But of course the former is humble and man enough to not care about such prestigious awards because he does not need them and is still a confident alpha male anyway, basically the role Lauterbach plays in every film by the way. Oh yeah and the most cringeworthy moment there was probably when we find out the award the mentor received for the photo he did not make himself was something like the biggest award on the planet for photographers. Well, let me say that I have one superlative for you too: contender for suckiest movie of 2005. Next mention goes to Deborah Kaufmann, who was truly bad, maybe the only one from the cast who maked the already bad script even worse. This because especially obvious in these moments at the end of the film when she is a bit of a messenger between the two lovebirds and tells them who is in love with whom. But she has other weak moments as well, such as early on when we find out how much she has the hots for Lauterbach's character. So cringeworthy. Then again, her entire story was a bad joke and honestly disrespectful and almost insulting to people who actually suffer from depression the way it was depicted here. The writer should be embarrassed. But I am sure they are not. Another really terrible moment involving Kaufmann's character was when we see her hug it out with Lauterbach's in the last third of the film and of course this is exactly the moment when her man shows up and is humiliated because he mistakes the two for having an affair or so and goes away. And not much later, there is a similar moment when an ex of the female main character shows up and kisses her all of a sudden and this is exatly the same moment when Lauterbach's character shows up and sees it and is humiliated and walk away. I cannot believe they shoved this cringeworthy moment in our faces not just once, which would already have been hard to excuse, but twice. Apart from that, there are many scenes and moment where this film hits rock-bottom repeatedly. I can think of one specific line by Lauterbach, but I cannot really remember the exact worse and that is probably a good thing if they are forgotten now. Actually this film was so bad atg times that I had to chuckle and laugh even. Disgusted. I wonder how people can actually enjoy this. I could write another 1000 words on moments that sucked, but I won't and just say one more thing about the ending where we do not only get the rushed and forced reunion of the lovebirds, but also a marriage proposal out of nowhere. Oh my, why not tell us that she is pregnant too while you're at it. Terrible, terrible film. One of the very worst from 2005, not just from Germany, but from the entire planet. Also unbearable to stomach how the soundtrack clearly was so over the top and obviously the film took itself really seriously. Highly not recommended and why oh why did you agree to star in here Sonsee, come on? With how she appears otherwise on the really entertaining German version of Curb Your Enthusiasm, she definitely knows what quality television is. "Der Bernsteinfischer" is the exact opposite and they should be ashamed to abuse a beautiful substance like amber for the title of this very not beautiful film. Boo!
