Ellen Wong credited as playing...
Knives Chau
- Knives Chau: What do you play?
- Young Neil: Wow, ummm... Zelda... Tetris... that's kind of a big question.
- Wallace Wells: [to Scott] Everything does suck.
- [phone rings]
- Wallace Wells: Or does it?
- [picks up the phone]
- Wallace Wells: Hello? Oh, hey Knives. What's that? You're outside?
- [Scott stands up quickly]
- Knives Chau: [Knives knocks on the front door]
- [Wallis opens the door]
- Knives Chau: Is Scott here?
- Wallace Wells: Uh, you know what?
- [Scott dives through a window behind Wallis]
- Wallace Wells: He just left.
- Knives Chau: Really?
- Wallace Wells: Yeah.
- [Scott reaches through the window and grabs his jacket]
- Wallace Wells: Sorry.
- [Scott runs away behind Knives]
- Knives Chau: Hey Scott!
- Scott Pilgrim: What the hell...
- Ramona V. Flowers: Who is that girl again?
- Stephen Stills: Scott dated her.
- Scott Pilgrim: Briefly.
- Ramona V. Flowers: How old is she?
- Scott Pilgrim: Uhhhhhhhh...
- [the camera goes into his head. We see a wheel listing various thoughts. The arrow gets stuck between "I gotta pee" and "Who, her?"]
- Scott Pilgrim: I gotta pee on her!... I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time.
- Knives Chau: Is Scott here?
- Wallace Wells: Uh, you know what...
- [Scott jumps through the window]
- Wallace Wells: He just left.
- Knives Chau: Really?
- [Scott reaches back in and grabs his jacket]
- Wallace Wells: Yeah... sorry.
- [Scott runs away behind Knives]
- Scott Pilgrim: Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. Knives, I dated you and then I dated Ramona. Okay?
- [beat; realizes what he said]
- Scott Pilgrim: Maybe I forgot to tell Knives right away?
- Knives Chau: You cheated on me, Scott? You cheated on both of us?
- Ramona V. Flowers: You cheated on me with Knives?
- Scott Pilgrim: No, I cheated on Knives with you.
- Ramona V. Flowers: Is there a difference?
- Scott Pilgrim: [sheepishly] You weren't wronged?
- [Scott is immediately stabbed in the back by Gideon]
- Gideon Gordon Graves: [through gritted teeth] Game over!
- [Scott falls to the ground, crumpled over - dead]
- Gideon Gordon Graves: Scottie. You can cheat on these ladies all you want, but you can't... cheat... death.
- Scott Pilgrim: It was a very amicable breakup. We're peaches and gravy now!
- Knives Chau: [Sadly from behind him] Noooooo...
- Knives Chau: He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate her stupid guts! He only likes her because she's old! She's probably, like, 25! She's just some fat-ass white girl, you know?