Annabelle Williams credited as playing...
Andrea • Archangel Michael
- 1st Inner Valkyrie: [appearing on the side balcony of the stage]
- [singing]
- 1st Inner Valkyrie: Jerry, Jerry!
- Jerry Springer: [to audience] It's OK. It's my inner Valkyrie.
- [to her]
- Jerry Springer: How can I help you today?
- 1st Inner Valkyrie: [singing] Jerry, let the morons fight, but how does Jerry sleep at night?
- Jerry Springer: How do I sleep? I sleep on my back, thank you! You know it's easy to occupy the moral high ground, what's more difficult, is to confidently occupy the moral low ground. Now go away!
- [she sighs and walks off]
- Jerry Springer: My next guest with a guilty secret is Montel. So Montel what's on your mind?
- Montel: [singing] I've been seeing Andrea here, and we're in love, we're in love, we're in love!
- Jerry Springer: And so what is it you want to tell Andrea?
- Montel: [singing] Well Jerry...
- Jerry Springer: [interrupting] Don't talk to me. Talk to Andrea.
- Montel: [Turns to Andrea. Singing] Baby, I love you, with all of my heart, but there is one thing you could do for me. Which could change my life! Change my life!
- Andrea: [singing] Tell me baby! Tell me baby!
- Montel: [singing] Well baby...
- Andrea: [singing] Tell me baby! Tell me baby!
- Montel: [singing] Well baby...
- Andrea: [singing] Tell me baby! Tell me baby! Tell me baby! Tell me baby! Tell me!
- Montel: [singing] I wanna be your baby!... baby.
- Montel: [singing] You are my Baby, baby.
- Montel: [singing] What I mean is... I wanna be your BABY!
- Andrea: [singing. Confused, after a long pause] ... what?
- Montel: [singing] Be your baby!
- Andrea: [singing] You gotta be kidding!
- Montel: [singing] Be your baba! Be your baby!
- Andrea: [singing] Tell me...
- Montel: [singing] Be your baba! Be your baby!
- [Rips his clothes off. He now stands on the stage in nothing but his shoes and a large traditional diaper]
- Montel: I wanna be your baby, baby! B A B with a Y, B.A.B.Y!