Cool and Lam (1958 TV Movie)

Benay Venuta: Bertha Cool

Quotes 

• Donald Lam : Where do you think Mrs. Lintig could be?

  Dr. Lintig : I don't know. She left Oakview in 1937.

  Bertha Cool : After twenty years, who cares if she remarried?

  Dr. Lintig : I'm paying you to answer *my* questions.

• Bertha Cool : [to Donald]  On your way to Oakview, lover boy. This one's a cinch. Dig up some old newspapers, ask some questions and be back tomorrow with the answers. Take along a few sandwiches, sleep in the car and it's pure profit!

• Donald Lam : ...I wake up on the beach outside of Oakview. My car is parked off the road. It takes both my hands to carry my achin' head to the car.

  Bertha Cool : I wonder if bandages are deductible?

• Bertha Cool : The medical association says Dr. James Lintig got his name changed legally to Charles Altmont. He's moved to Santa Carlotta.

  Donald Lam : Santa Carlotta? There's a wide-open little town. They've invented some new vices and kept all the old ones.

• Bertha Cool : [to Flo]  Take it easy, girlie, unless you want to be the only bald-headed woman on the block.

• [last lines] 

  Bertha Cool : Doc Lintig was very grateful for keeping his name out of the whole mess. He sent us a lovely bouquet of money.

  Donald Lam : Good! I'm taking Marion to dinner to celebrate.

  Bertha Cool : I know a joint - 65 cent meals, real nice paper napkins. They got a jukebox next door; you can hear the music through the walls. It's on Pico!

  Donald Lam : We're going to dinner at Chasen's for real champagne. I'm bringing my own gypsy violinist. I'll charge it to expenses!