The Keeper of Time (2004 Video) User Reviews

So so sword & sorcery fare suitable for kiddies

[HaemovoreRex · 4/10 · 1 May 2007]

In all honesty, there's very little to say about this undistinguished entry in the Sword and sorcery genre. Certainly, it never strives to be anything other than what its budgetary constraints limit it to be; a fairly uneventful fantasy tale ostensibly aimed at a younger audience.

Viewed in such terms, the film is, to be equitable, a fairly watchable romp with some pretty decent special effects, a number of fairly exciting action sequences and evidence of an asserted attempt by the filmmakers to flesh out the characters somewhat. Even so and despite the above, the film is only a nominally viewable affair at best for an adult audience at least.

On the other hand, one factor does stand out and that is the presence of Michael O'Hearn. This actor has the perfect looks, physique (a former Mr. Universe winner) and indeed physical moves (hell he can even act to!) to make it huge as an action star in Hollywood and yet, for some unknown reason has never been picked up for any major starring roles. It really is a crying shame that such a talent has not been given the recognition that he so deserves.

I recently saw O'Hearn in the awesome mock trailer, Worlds Finest in the role of Superman – a role he was just born to play! Since then I have learnt that he actually went for an audition to play the iconic role in Superman Returns…….and of course the imbeciles who run the show did exactly what I predicted they'd do….with the perfect choice to play the legendary Man Of Steel offering himself to them on a plate they instead gave the role to bloody Brandon Routh!!! For Christ's sake!

Like Jello Minus the Flavor

[clint-cole · 4/10 · 7 December 2005]

There are some aspects of this movie that are noteworthy. First of all It had a good hair stylist on the set. Second of all it had some special effects that I wouldn't expect to see in such a low budget movie. However, the plot was a predictable cheese fest. I fell asleep three times during attempts to watch this movie, and the acting is a bit over the top, especially on the part of the kid. This is a family friendly B rate movie, but not the worst I've seen. I would rate it over some A rate movies, but not many. The point is, I can stand to watch this movie, and if given a small amount of money, watch it again. So I bestow a rating of '4' (not as entertaining as the B rate 'Monkey Shines', but not as intellectually insulting as the B rate 'Absolute Aggression') onto this not so epic. In terms of B rate movies, this is a '9'.

Practice Makes Perfect

[schweinhundt1967 · 25 January 2005]

Sword and Sorcery is a relatively new genre,really being created by pulp fiction writer Robert E. Howard back in the 30s.But,it has its antecedents,based in mythology,fairy tales,and epic fantasy.So,it just didn't drop off of a log,so to speak.

It really isn't everybody's dish,but,given the proper level of talent,still can be quite enjoyable.But it does require a considerable amount of work on everyone's part.And,here,to plagiarize Hamlet,is the rub.

Some of these films are quite good."The Beastmaster",starring Marc Singer,comes to mind.Humor,insight,wit,and effort showed up in that film.And "Deathstalker,"starring Rick Hill,was at the other end of the spectrum.Just a mess.I always thought they made that one as a parody of the genre.

Now,this one appears to have been written at the most elementary level.It's like they were going to do S&S for the after school,elementary kids.The plot does lag,the action could be faster,and yes,the wizard does sound like a parody of the blind monk in "Kung-Fu." But the technical aspects of the film are all well done,the direction is adequate,and the performers are all doing a valiant job with not very much.

O'Hearn,in particular,does a splendid job with a cliché.True,he poses,shows off his impressive physique,and turns in a standard muscle hero character.But he didn't have much to work with,his fight sequences are good,and he delivers his lines with talent and polish.

We all have to start somewhere,and gain some experience.So.next time,given this initial showing,we can hope for better.

Worse than Max magician...

[ljs00b · 1/10 · 30 July 2005]

If you are the type of person who enjoys renting/buying really really really bad movies; than this is so for you. If your local Walmart doesn't have a dump bin that is suitable for you tastes in the extremely bad, go and find this movie at a local video store that carries EVERYTHING including porn... For some bizarre reason they have this. If you have seen the movie Max Magician and the Legand of the Rings, and like most who saw it, appreciate just how terrible it is, you will be disappointed in this film. Unlike such classic movie making horrors such as Max, this poor film does not even contain that type of entertainment. I swear it isn't worth it!!

Great bad movie fare

[Volstag · 8/10 · 30 June 2004]

This movie rules -- but not in the way most of you would think. It rules because it's extremely bad. If you're a fan of bad movies (I'm a self-styled connoisseur), you have to wrap your sweaty hands around this gem. It ranks right up there with such classics as Termination Man, Troll II, Deathstalker III, etc. For those of you who have no patience for bad movies, or actually enjoy mediocre Hollywood pap such as Van Helsing, Pearl Harbor, etc, do not rent/buy this movie -- it won't appeal to your pedestrian tastes.

** spoilers **

This movie is about a young boy, who sports the unimaginative sobriquet of "Tim" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail flashbacks). Tim, as it turns out, is the last "Keeper of Time". If Tim dies, so does all that is good and great -- and, of course, the powers of "evil" will reign for the next 500 years.

Enter the bumbling "Bad Wizard" (forget the character name). The Bad Wizard orders a series of attacks against Tim... each one more comical than the last. Thankfully, Tim is befriended by Bullrock (Micheal O'Hearn) and Udo. Bullrock spends the majority of the film showcasing his pectorals, and, occasionally, performing masturbatory combat exercises with his sword. He's also primarily responsible for dispatching the hordes of "target dummies" sent to destroy them. Udo, on the other hand, seems content to spout nonsensical "wizard talk" and "deep philosophy". Other than that, he doesn't really do much of anything.

At some point, the "Bad Wizard" convinces one of his underlings ("Token Hot Chick") to infiltrate this unlikely band of heroes. Needless to say, Bullrock is instantly smitten with Token Hot Chick. They begin professing their undying love for each other -- the day after they meet.

Token Hot Chick's ruse is uncovered near the end of the movie. Someone kills her (Bullrock?). Tim and the "Bad Wizard" go head-to-head for control of the planet. I'll give you one guess as to who won.

Good movie rating: 3/10. Bad movie rating: 8/10.

The Keeper of Corn

[greekgeek8 · 8/10 · 7 November 2013]

Filmed in beautiful Lithuania, The Keeper of Time stars Michael O'Hearn, Adam T. Dawson, and Parker Alexander. Like any good movie, The Keeper of Time begins with children being killed by a demon. A good looking female shape-shifting demon, but still a demon. After two children bit the dust, we join the last child on the demon's hit list- little Timmy, the week from 12 year old farm boy. Timmy and his mother return to his home, only to find that a sinister looking women dressed in black has given their father/husband apples to eat. When Timmy states that he is not hungry, his mother replies with, "Timmy, that's not grateful! Say thank you to the good lady," and promptly dies from apple poisoning. Timmy is quickly rescued from the demon by Bullrock, the bad-with-words sword wielding wizard want-to-be shirtless barbarian (played by Micheal O'Hearn, three times Mr. Universe), and Udo, the magic-less old kung fu instructor who knows the arcane secret of gunpowder. Watch for the sword-fight between Bullrock and a storm.

"This place is as good as any other place," says Udo, as he sets camp in the middle of a haunted swamp. We find that he may have been mistaken, when swamp zombies rise from the slime to attack Timmy and Friends. Having learned his lesson, the next night Udo has the party camp in the woods, surrounded by mutilated skeletons hanging from the trees. And he did all this AFTER a frantic woman had warned him, "Whatever you do- Don't sleep on the ground!"

Overall, I found the movie very enjoyable, in a corny manner. I recommend this film as fodder for your own Mystery Science Fiction Theatre with friends, but don't expect the Lord of the Rings. Just remember to never sleep on the ground.