Josie's Castle (1971)

Barnaby Shackleford: Bartholomew

Quotes 

• Bartholomew : I took up smoking right after I gave up heterosexuality. I utterly refuse to discipline myself in too many ways at once!

• Bartholomew : You know, Ken, you look utterly adorable in the samurai suit. You make Toshirô Mifune look positively dowdy!

• Josie : Shall we say grace? Ready? Begin.

  Josie , Leonard , Ken : Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yay, God!

  Bartholomew : You're a bunch of disgusting heathens.

• Josie : And what do you do?

  Bartholomew : I'm shooting at the zoo, the final sequence for my master's.

  Josie : What's the title?

  Bartholomew : It's called, "A Helping Hand."

  Josie : Oh well that sounds very altruistic.

  Bartholomew : Not at all, my dear, it's about masturbation!

• Bartholomew : When I heard that your kinky little ménage à trois had moved into the castle, I thought, "Hmmmm."

  Josie : It's not like that at all, it's just Leonard and me.

  Bartholomew : Oh come on! That number's as gay as pink ink!

  Josie : I can give you a testimonial.

  Bartholomew : Whether he knows it or not, that number's just dying to come out of the closet!

• Leonard : It's incredible how one person can be so talented.

  Bartholomew : You're just jealous because you're so INCREDIBLY one-dimensional.

  Leonard : You mean I'm not bisexual?

  Bartholomew : Well, that's one area, yes.

• Josie : How is the dope business? I bet you two meet a lot of mafia celebrities in your line of work.

  Leonard : Oh, sure. Walk into any dealer's pad and there's one dead in the bathtub.

  Bartholomew : It's a good, clean living!