- After being mistaken for an actor, a New York thief is sent to Hollywood to train under a private eye for a potential movie role, but the duo are thrown together with a struggling actress into a murder mystery.
- A petty thief posing as an actor is brought to Los Angeles for an unlikely audition and finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation along with his high school dream girl and a detective who's been training him for his upcoming role...—austin4577@aol.com
- In LA, while escaping from the police after an unsuccessful robbery, the small time thief Harry Lockhart is accidentally submitted to an audition for a role of detective in a movie, and invited to a party. He meets a private eye Gay Perry, who suggests that he participate in an investigation to develop his character. He also meets the gorgeous aspiring actress Harmony Faith Lane, and finds that she was a childhood friend. Harry and Perry get involved in an intricate murder case with many leads. With the support of Harmony, they find the sordid truth of the case.—Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
- A noir send-up. A narrator introduces himself at a Hollywood party: he's Harry Lockhart, a thief from New York, in L.A. for a screen test. He meets Gay Perry, a glitzy private eye who's to school him for his role; there's Harmony Lane, a wannabe actress whose time has passed; the host is an aging actor who starred in detective movies, plus his daughter, with starlet looks and a choppy past. The next day, Gay and Harry stake out a house where Gay is to take surreptitious photographs for a client - what they find is a corpse. From there, twists and connections abound and bodies pile up. Who's double-crossing whom? And, has Harry found Harmony too late to save himself from misery?—<jhailey@hotmail.com>
- In Los Angeles, whilst being chased by police officers, thief Harry Lockhart finds himself in a movie audition where he is mistaken for a actor, auditioning for a role in a detective film. Harry attends a party where he reunites with childhood friend Harmony Faith Lane, who is acting in Beer commercials and wants to make it to the big time and act in Hollywood movies and Harry also meets gay private detective Perry Van Shrike. When Perry discovers a dead body and Harmony's sister commits suicide, Perry decides to involve Harry in the investigation and Harry decides to play along and pretend he is a detective. Investigating the case, Harry and Perry become suspicious of the party guests who have all become suspects, as Harry and Perry set out to uncover the murderer's identity, Harry finds himself falling in love with Harmony.—Daniel Williamson
- At a Los Angeles party, Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey Jr.) recounts recent events.
Harry was stealing a Christmas present for his niece from a closed toy store when a passing UPS truck shook their alarm workaround loose. The alarm got triggered, and Harry and his friend were forced to run. Fleeing a botched burglary, Harry's friend is shot by random lady who held them at gun point ordering them to wait till the police arrived. This forced Harry to evade police by ducking into an audition.
The audition was for a part where the character's mistake led to the death of his partner. Harry already was charged at the death of his friend and held himself responsible for it. Harry unintentionally impresses the producers with an outburst of remorse they mistake for method acting. He is sent to Los Angeles for a further screen test.
At a Hollywood party before a screen test, Harry meets private investigator Perry Van Shrike (Val Kilmer), hired to give Harry on-the-job experience for his role, and party host Harlan Dexter (Corbin Bernsen), a retired actor who recently resolved a ten-year feud over his wife's inheritance with his daughter, Veronica.
Harry also encounters his childhood crush Harmony Lane (Michelle Monaghan). Harmony was from a small town and was addicted to Jonny Gossamer private detective novels. Harmony wanted a real-life private detective to save her little sister Jenna, who was sexually assaulted by her father every night. Harmony ran away from home when she was 16 years old. Her plan was to get rich and famous and then help Jenna.
Harry saves Harmony from being sexually assaulted by a pervert, while she was sleeping on the pool table. Harry gets beaten up as a result. Later, Harmony leaves the party with the same guy.
Harry tracks Harmony at a bar and introduces himself as a private detective. Harry doesn't reveal that they were together in childhood. Harry wakes up in bed with Harmony's hostile friend. He runs over to Harmony's place at 6 am to apologize, but she slams the door in his face.
Perry invites Harry to spend time with him and takes him to a stake-out as they discuss nuances of being a private detective. Perry was hired over the phone and paid for by credit card.
During a stakeout at a Big Bear Lake cabin, Perry and Harry see a car being dumped in the lake. Perry and Harry are spotted by the apparent killers. Noticing a female body in the trunk, Perry shoots the lock in a rescue attempt but accidentally hits the corpse. They decide against reporting it as it will appear he killed her.
Harmony contacts Harry, explaining that her sister Jenna came to L.A., stole Harmony's credit cards, and later killed herself. Right before she died, Jenna made a $2000 charge on Harmony's credit card and took her birth control pill for the day. Believing Harry is a detective, Harmony asks him to investigate Jenna's death as a murder. After she leaves, Harry discovers the lake corpse in his bathroom and a planted pistol. Harry calls Perry to figure this mystery out. Harry and Perry dump the corpse, later identified as Veronica Dexter by police.
Harry discovers it was Harmony's credit card that was used to hire Perry to come to the lake, tying Jenna to their case. He goes to see Harmony, who (accidentally) slams the door on his finger, cutting it off after finding out he lied about being a private investigator. She takes him to hospital.
At a party with Harmony, the two men from the lake (Mr. Frying Pan (Dash Mihok) and Mr. Fire (Rockmond Dunbar)) beat Harry to convince him to stop looking into this crime. While taking Harry back to the hospital, Harmony sees the killers heading to Perry's stakeout. Realizing that Perry is heading into a trap, she leaves Harry in her car and rushes off to the stakeout, where she saves Perry, and Mr. Frying Pan gets shot to death by a food-cart operator.
A pink-haired girl Mia Frye (Shannyn Sossamon), affiliated with the killers, steals Harmony's car and unwittingly drives an unconscious Harry to her safe house. The remaining lake killer Mr. Fire arrives and shoots her. Harry recovers the pistol and shoots the thug. His finger has fallen off again, so he puts it on ice, but a dog jumps up and eats it. Harmony meets Harry at his hotel where she reveals she had told Jenna that Harlan Dexter was her real father. They quarrel in bed, and he throws her out, being careful not to slam her fingers in the door.
After Harmony disappears following a lead, Harry and Perry investigate a private health clinic owned by Harlan Dexter. They discover Veronica was locked in there by him, to be replaced by Pink Hair Girl, to end the inheritance feud. The pair capture a guard to question him but accidentally kill him, and then are captured by Dexter. He reveals he now plans to cremate his daughter's corpse to remove any remaining evidence. Harry calls Harmony, who had not actually disappeared but had simply gone to work. Harmony steals the van containing the coffin. Harry and Perry escape, but Harmony crashes the van. Perry is incapacitated in the ensuing shootout. Harry manages to kill Dexter and his thugs but is also shot.
Waking in a hospital, Harry finds that Perry and Harmony are fine. Perry reveals Harmony's sister was not murdered but committed suicide. Jenna had escaped incest in Indiana and located Dexter, believing him to be her real father. She accidentally witnessed Dexter having sex with Veronica's impostor, the pink-haired girl. Believing this father was also incestuous, Jenna commissioned Perry and committed suicide.
Perry travels back to Harmony's hometown and confronts Jenna's father who is now bed-ridden, slapping him multiple times and calling him an animal. When the old man berates Perry for attacking a helpless old man, Perry says simply, "Yeah. Big tough guy," and leaves without further explanation.
Having lost the movie role to Colin Farrell, Harry gets a job working for Perry.
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