- Zach: Yeah, dude, I'm getting married tomorrow! You don't know her.
- Herman Schumacher: Why didn't you invite me to your wedding?
- Zach: Susan hates you.
- Herman Schumacher: We've never met.
- Zach: That's 'cause she hates you.
- Herman Schumacher: So I was thinking we could go to a movie and then I know a nice little Italian restaurant.
- Carrie Mirvis: I figured we'd just have sex.
- Herman Schumacher: I understand.
- Herman Schumacher: I have a question. Why are we digging holes?
- Herman's Boss: Because we work be BEC-Tech Global Systems Incorporated.
- Herman Schumacher: I mean, are we going to put something in the holes?
- Herman's Boss: If we fill in the holes they wouldn't be holes anymore. Enough of this chit chat. We just got big order for holes this month.
- Damon: If you ever want to see her again, you'll meet me in the backyard for a battle to the death, death, death, death...
- Herman Schumacher: And if I kill you, you'll tell me where she is?
- Damon: Agreed.