The Christmas Season Massacre (Video 2001) Poster

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2/10
Nominally Christmas, and pretty weak for a Sub Rosa Extreme movie
FieCrier19 December 2005
I've watched a number of Wixel Pixel and Sub Rosa Extreme movies lately, and have found a lot to like about them.

This SRE movie seemed a lot more slight than all the others I've seen. Perhaps that's because this is a comedy/horror movie rather than straight horror, and perhaps it's also because the humor didn't register with me very well.

It's a little less than seventy minutes long, and the credits begin as the last ten minutes are beginning. There are some outtakes, goofs, and behind the scenes stuff going on while those credits roll.

SRE movies do tend to be short, and tend to feel padded out in spite of that. This is no exception, with some scenes that tend to go on too long.

The story involves a poor kid in Christmastown, California who'd been picked on by all his classmates. He'd had one shoe stolen, and unable to replace it, he was dubbed "Oneshoe McGroo." Due to an obsession with pirates, his parents gave him an eyepatch for Christmas with a Christmas tree emblazoned on the eyepatch.

Many of the classmates are killed, and the few who remain gather together to decide what to do. They're picked off one by one by McGroo, who stalks around to the sound of sleigh bells ringing.

The characters are pretty much all broad stereotypes, like the nerd named Dorkus, etc. There's an odd scene in which a kinky couple has sex; the woman is handcuffed and blindfolded, the man wears a large paper watermelon slice over his head. This reminded me of some of the stranger sex scenes from director Rinse Dream.

The picture quality is good, and there are a lot of extras. But basically a pretty silly movie.

Oh well, I guess you can never have too many Christmas horror movies. Still, there are a lot of other needy holidays.
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This movie is one of the worst of all time!
yank_soto6 April 2004
First off, I saw another reviewer said this movie was "fantastic". Well nothing could be further from the truth! This movie is complete garbage!!! A moronic horror comedy that is NOT even slightly funny!! Don't take that mean that it's so bad that it's good because it's not. It's a total waste of time and money!

Here's what I see in this waste of a DVD. A group of friends get together on a weekend, get drunk and then decide to make a backyard video. They grab Mom and Dad's video camera and start coming up with scenes on the spot. They all get a big kick out of watching themselves mug for the camera. They figure, if they think it's funny then everyone will think it's funny. Well, they're wrong. This backyard home video is garbage. The "acting" and comedic gore effects are lousy but I guess that's to be expected since this is nothing more then a home video.

On the bright side, I guess the fact that this crap got out there gives hope to anyone out there who wants to make a movie. If these people could get their movie made and released on DVD then anyone can!

0/10-- Save your money.
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1/10
Pitiful and barely worthwhile effort
kannibalcorpsegrinder13 December 2016
Following a rash of strange deaths, a group of friends in a small- town are convinced it's the return of a notorious, legendary serial killer plaguing everyone for how they bullied him in the past and must band together at a local cabin to try to stop his rampage.

This here was quite a disappointing effort without a whole lot to offer. One of the main elements to really like here is the effort this one really to in order to sell the story of it's bullied main antagonist. Going into the backstory at the opening of the film detailing his history and what originally happened to him gives this one a solid base for establishing the tormented main villain and giving him a more than credible motivation for going through with his rampage later on. Those later stalking scenes here are quite fun for what's being presented, with the opening ambush on the couple in the car or his appearance at the house with the kinky couple, while the scenes of him appearing around the camp really ups the action as he unleashes some decent enough attacks on the group. As these manage to include some brutal and bloody kills, these here manage to come across as the only parts of this one that are worthwhile. A lot of the movie's flaws here come from the film's dead-set belief that it's hilarious and supposedly a goof yet nothing that happens here is even smirk- inducing. There's nothing at all creepy or terrifying about a scrawny, middle-aged man in an eye-patch with one shoe on running around the woods killing some of the most clueless, brain- dead people to have ever been born, and even as a joke it's simply not funny. The incessant ringing of Christmas bells whenever he's on-screen isn't helping matters at all, and there's nothing about the killer that's either funny or scary which carries on into the remaining characters. They're not in the slightest bit funny, appealing, engaging or possess even the slightest amount of brain-power to function here as they actually forget why they're supposedly gathered together to stop the killer, are completely unable to spot the killer who's wielding a running chainsaw coming up on them until they step on a tree branch nearby and engage in the most pointless, atonal and cringe-inducing songs that are supposedly romantic and mood-setting yet don't come off as anything but mindless rambling that is the complete opposite of it's intended feelings. None of these issues, though, are given any help with the low-budget which is so obvious and damaging that it really hampers the film with some utterly detrimental issues that don't offer any kind of help to the film by limiting this one to such unappealing work throughout here, and this one has to have nearly ten minutes of bloopers to get to a feature-length which is still a bit low. These here really work against this one and make it quite the unappealing effort.

Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity and a kinky sex scene.
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1/10
I hope all those 7-10 star reviewers got paid for their lies
tankfreak29 December 2021
Let me preface with I love low budget B and even Z movies and I knew going in this would be super low budget and that the acting would probably be bad, but wow...it may actually be THE most boring and absolutely pointless post-apocalyptic dystopian wasteland movie I've ever seen. The only saving grace is that it's short for a feature, but not short enough. It actually probably would have been decent as a short film or maybe part of an anthology with a 20-30min runtime, but even at a mere 71mins I was struggling and kept checking how much time was left.

The whole premise is that the family is running very low on food and with the father missing after going on a supply run, the mother starts plotting I guess what she thinks will be a Christmas mercy killing. Mind you, they still have food, they're very close to running out, but they're not exactly rationing as much as they could be, they aren't starving or sick and both she and her son look healthy (and remarkably clean!). And they probably could actually find some more food if they ventured out more than once. The whole scenario is pretty stupid, at least the way it's depicted here. I could understand if they were literally starving or had radiation sickness or injuries or didn't have a safe place to stay, but none of that applies. So we finally get down to the last 10mins of the movie just to have random gas-mask wearing murder Santa show up and throw in a shock/wtf ending that definitely doesn't make the other 65mins of the movie worth watching. Definitely the most skippable Christmas/Holiday horror flick I've seen in decades.
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9/10
Fantastic
pig_7112 April 2003
Man, this rocked. So many classic moments couples with great gore. The first scene with the woman getting gutted is quite nasty and graphic and it just plain rocked. Eric Stanze does his thing cool. The whole movie is great fun, and can't wait to see what Jeremy Wallace does with the UNDERTOW!

Gordo
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This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with
cannibalcam6 October 2006
This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with. Christmas Season Massacre, can't get anymore cliché than that eh! It leans itself on referential displays of homage. But a blast at that also.

The boys from the Rosa roster are included in this happy go lucky slash fest. Freaking hilarious people, 80's fried stalk n slash.

Tommy "one shoe" was, or is a loser and soon became the apitmy of himself. A blood thirsty maniac. The team of bully's unite to stop his reign of terror once and for all. In the meantime, they are all getting dispensed quite quickly one by one by ole' pirate boy himself. Guts a flyin" and jokes a plenty is what I have to say. Surely a mix of Eric Stanze's (www.wickedpixel.com ) flavor amongst this Wallace special.

Tons of heaping bucket loads of red and sauce. DJ Vivona gets taken out in a nice Toolbox fashion.

Good times, it's dynamite!
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Christmas Season Massacre "sleighed" me...
jack_thedevil9 January 2002
Warning: Spoilers
!!!!review contains spoilers-read at your own risk!!!!!

The Christmas Season Massacre is the latest release from Sub Rosa's sister label Sub Rosa Extreme and is a hilarious throwback to the old 80's slasher comedy horror films similar to the films found on late night cable programs such as USA'S Up All Night. This is definetly something everyone will dig.

The story of the film centers around a character by the name of Tommy One Shoe McGroo who receives the name when one of his shoes are stolen by a duo of high school bullies. To make matters worse for old Tommy boy his family is dirt poor so without any money he is forced to endure the rest of the school year sans a shoe.

However Tommy One Shoe McGroo decides to ask Santa for a new shoe, but is only disappointed when he receives a eye patch due to fact that his parents knew that he loved pirates. It is not even a cool eye patch; it is some weird patch that has a Christmas tree on it with glittery décor. Getting this crappy gift is the last straw for Tommy and he decides to go on a killing spree murdering his parents and eventually all of his classmates from school one by one-who can blame him.

Flash forward about ten years and the last serving members of Tommy's classmates decide to band together and hide out at a cabin in hopes of fighting him off. Safety in numbers, I suppose. This only makes things easier for the killer, which becomes more like shooting fish in a barrel for him.

It all leads down to the final confrotation with the bully who stole his shoe resulting in a violent and bloodied fight ending with Tommy boy giving the bully a shotgun full of justice.

But that is not the end of the film, no sir. The story ends with a hilarious kick ass surprise ending, which I will not reveal, because this film just has to be fully experienced by watching it.

The Christmas Season Massacre is filled with all sorts of jokes and corny characters with names like Melissa Honeydew and Dorkas the class nerd. Also be sure to check out cameos from Jason Christ-director of The Road Ahead, and Eric Stanze who also co-produces films for Sub Rosa Extreme, who in my opinion steals the opening of the film as he portrays a sleazy character named Boom Boom-or Boomster to his friends.

I highly recommend this film as a stocking stuffer for this season, or something for the whole family to watch during the Christmas holidays.

Tim Shrum
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A Few Decent Spots but Boring
Michael_Elliott21 October 2012
The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Cheaply produced horror film about a loser kid who gets picked on through school until one Christmas when he disappears without a trace. Each Christmas after that one of his classmates comes up murdered so after the latest victim the survivors gather up for some fun (WTF?). THE Christmas SEASON MASSACRE isn't a 100% "Christmas" horror film as it pretty much just takes place in Christmastown, CA and its story mentions the holiday. There's nothing visually that's going to take you back to Santa Claus but this isn't the biggest problem. I actually thought the film started off fairly well as we get a pretty funny story about the dork everyone picked on and then we follow this up with some fairly gory death scenes. Everything pretty much falls apart after this because there's simply not too much story to work with here and quite often we just get scenes that drag on for no reason other than to run up the running time. I think when the horror elements are on the film works the best. As I said, there are some pretty gory death scenes here and while the special effects are cheap at least the filmmakers tried to give fans what they would want. The film even gives us some nudity. As you'd expect, the performances aren't the greatest and there are all sorts of flaws with the film so in the end it's only going to be worth watching to fans of these types of films.
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