For me, as an italian, this film was extremely funny and I had a great laugh at the cinema. Ok, it consists of nothing but very simple "italian style" slapstick jokes: a little bit of sex, people who get hurt in cartoon style and of course lots of italian language jokes. I'd say that you have to be italian native speaker in order to always understand what's supposed to be funny. So this is a film for italians or people who like those very simple italian jokes. If you like Paolo Villaggio, Lino Banfi, Renato Pozzetto, Carlo Verdone, etc. - go and see it! All others - forget it, this isn't for you.
4 Reviews
Cindy Crawford's own personal "Alien From L.A."
Victor Field19 July 2001
Warning: Spoilers
Please note: In spite of the very slim chance of it opening outside Italy, this does contain a couple of spoilers.
I saw this movie on holiday in Luxembourg, on video in the original Italian. Since I don't actually speak Italian, this sounds like a disadvantage - but the low quality of "Bodyguards - guardie del corpo" transcends all barriers, and it's safe to say not being able to understand the dialogue is a blessing here.
Three police officers get thrown off the force for ruining a delicate operation, and when they see a clip of a certain Kevin Costner film on television they decide to become bodyguards (you were expecting postmen?). And like Charlie's Angels, they're each assigned very hazardous duties. One has to stand watch over Victoria Silvstedt, another gets to take care of Anna Falchi's dogs, the third tries to prevent a bank robbery, and all three go into action to guard Megan Gale at a health spa - all with consequences that are supposed to be disastrous and hilarious. Disastrous, yes, hilarious? Er, no.
The humour throughout is aimed at the kind of people who don't find Howard Stern tasteless or sexist enough - examples: dogs get killed (cue running gag about Anna Falchi fainting), people stand behind flatulent elephants holding flames, men get repeated and painfully hurt in the name of comedy... and what's this, an old man dies with an enormous erection and has to be hidden in a case despite said protuberance? Add to all this (and more) the gratuitous Falchi semi-nipple shot and the even more gratuitous Silvstedt topless sceen and you being to wonder what the Italian censors were playing at when they passed this film for their equivalent of a G rating ("Film Per Tutti" = "Film For All").
As if "Bodyguards" wasn't already a trial to get through with its grating humour and awful structure, Cindy Crawford (playing herself, like Victoria and Co) doesn't appear until the film's three quarters over (in much the same way that Kathy Ireland fans didn't get to see their dream woman in all her bikini-wearing glory until the equally unbearable "Alien From L.A." was nearly over), but it must be said that it perks up when she finally appears, despite the fact that most of her dialogue is very badly dubbed into Italian. Cindy has to be protected from a maniac who wants to kill her, and to that end a double is used to throw the psycho off the trail... that's right, you get two Cindys for the price of one, one of the few positive things about the movie. (Cindy also models some skimpy clothes during this part. Twice. So that's another plus.)
Which is not to say that "Bodyguards" doesn't make "Fair Game" look like "American Beauty" in comparison, or that it's better than the other movies that withheld Cindy until a good chunk of their running time had elapsed ("Unzipped" and "54" - in the latter she doesn't appear until the end credits are rolling), because it does and it isn't. But Cindy acquits herself admirably under the circumstances, although why she agreed to appear in this I do not know (perhaps she wanted to join the club of people who've played twins on screen? Perhaps because she isn't humiliated as much as everyone else? Perhaps she likes Italy?). Do not expect this to be released in America or the UK outside of cable TV, and if it is, remember to skip the first 75 minutes (unless you really want to check out the eye candy, and Megan Gale is indeed almost as nice as Cindy).
One thing though - this is still, astonishingly enough, preferable to "The Bodyguard" (no Whitney Houston is quite a plus). And at least Cindy doesn't have to wear a beard, unlike Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in "Dirty Work." Or be shagged and murdered, unlike Amber Valletta in "What Lies Beneath." Or appear alongside Jennifer Saunders, unlike both Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss on British TV. Or do a film with Joaquin Cortes, unlike Laetitia Casta in "Gitano." Or appear for only five minutes and belie your billing, unlike Elle Macpherson in "The Edge," "Batman & Robin," "The Mirror Has Two Faces," etc. Or...
I saw this movie on holiday in Luxembourg, on video in the original Italian. Since I don't actually speak Italian, this sounds like a disadvantage - but the low quality of "Bodyguards - guardie del corpo" transcends all barriers, and it's safe to say not being able to understand the dialogue is a blessing here.
Three police officers get thrown off the force for ruining a delicate operation, and when they see a clip of a certain Kevin Costner film on television they decide to become bodyguards (you were expecting postmen?). And like Charlie's Angels, they're each assigned very hazardous duties. One has to stand watch over Victoria Silvstedt, another gets to take care of Anna Falchi's dogs, the third tries to prevent a bank robbery, and all three go into action to guard Megan Gale at a health spa - all with consequences that are supposed to be disastrous and hilarious. Disastrous, yes, hilarious? Er, no.
The humour throughout is aimed at the kind of people who don't find Howard Stern tasteless or sexist enough - examples: dogs get killed (cue running gag about Anna Falchi fainting), people stand behind flatulent elephants holding flames, men get repeated and painfully hurt in the name of comedy... and what's this, an old man dies with an enormous erection and has to be hidden in a case despite said protuberance? Add to all this (and more) the gratuitous Falchi semi-nipple shot and the even more gratuitous Silvstedt topless sceen and you being to wonder what the Italian censors were playing at when they passed this film for their equivalent of a G rating ("Film Per Tutti" = "Film For All").
As if "Bodyguards" wasn't already a trial to get through with its grating humour and awful structure, Cindy Crawford (playing herself, like Victoria and Co) doesn't appear until the film's three quarters over (in much the same way that Kathy Ireland fans didn't get to see their dream woman in all her bikini-wearing glory until the equally unbearable "Alien From L.A." was nearly over), but it must be said that it perks up when she finally appears, despite the fact that most of her dialogue is very badly dubbed into Italian. Cindy has to be protected from a maniac who wants to kill her, and to that end a double is used to throw the psycho off the trail... that's right, you get two Cindys for the price of one, one of the few positive things about the movie. (Cindy also models some skimpy clothes during this part. Twice. So that's another plus.)
Which is not to say that "Bodyguards" doesn't make "Fair Game" look like "American Beauty" in comparison, or that it's better than the other movies that withheld Cindy until a good chunk of their running time had elapsed ("Unzipped" and "54" - in the latter she doesn't appear until the end credits are rolling), because it does and it isn't. But Cindy acquits herself admirably under the circumstances, although why she agreed to appear in this I do not know (perhaps she wanted to join the club of people who've played twins on screen? Perhaps because she isn't humiliated as much as everyone else? Perhaps she likes Italy?). Do not expect this to be released in America or the UK outside of cable TV, and if it is, remember to skip the first 75 minutes (unless you really want to check out the eye candy, and Megan Gale is indeed almost as nice as Cindy).
One thing though - this is still, astonishingly enough, preferable to "The Bodyguard" (no Whitney Houston is quite a plus). And at least Cindy doesn't have to wear a beard, unlike Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in "Dirty Work." Or be shagged and murdered, unlike Amber Valletta in "What Lies Beneath." Or appear alongside Jennifer Saunders, unlike both Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss on British TV. Or do a film with Joaquin Cortes, unlike Laetitia Casta in "Gitano." Or appear for only five minutes and belie your billing, unlike Elle Macpherson in "The Edge," "Batman & Robin," "The Mirror Has Two Faces," etc. Or...
One of the bests from De Sica-Boldi
mondodvd28 February 2006
I'm Spanish and thanks god I speak Italian, so I can enjoy these great comedies from the duo Christian De Sica-Massimo Boldi. This is one of my favorites. The comedy is absolutely absurd & hilarious and the pace is frantic. Cindy Crawford does an extended cameo in the last part of the film, but the main running jokes are very good. It's an slick movie made with a big budget, and I recommend it for all lovers of Italian comedies. Forget about the previous comments. In Italy there are a lot of local movies haters (as in every country in the world) so these opinions are not really very useful. This film made a lot of money in box office. Search for the DVD, and if you don't speak Italian, start learning...if not, nothing will make sense to you...
An unsocial movie
marcococco1 March 2004
Firstable I am italian so I know what italian movies look like. This movie had really badly impressed me cause there are a lot of bad habits used as jokes. There's one scene that I hate more than the others. When the character of Enzo Salvi (I don't remember the name) ends up in a sauna (if I remember right) in which someone has previously put a pack of drugs. The scene is all based on this. For me it looks like that the productors had wanted to make people think that this is the effect of drugs that is in my opinion perfectly wrong... I know you can use any kind of stuff to make people laugh but this is beyond any limits.. That's why I don't like this movie and that's why i hate most of italian movies that are all in the same way... Marco
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