100 Girls (2000)

James DeBello: Rod

Photos 

Quotes 

• Matthew : Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction.

  Rod : What do you mean?

  Matthew : Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men.

  Rod : Wow. That's profound.

  Matthew : And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have...

  [Rod starts cleaning his ears with his car keys] 

  Matthew : ...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin...

  Rod : Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok?

  Matthew : I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh.

  Rod : Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby!

  [laughs] 

• Rod : Man, take it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice.

• Rod : Oh, yeah, nice from a far, but far from nice.

• Rod : You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name.

  Matthew : [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs]  What the hell is that?

  Rod : It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pounds.

• Rod : But check it out, this penile power thing, it's going to help me you know, increase my libido, help me maintain a full, firm erection and it's gonna help me control my ejaculation baby, so I'm going to be going all night long.

• Rod : You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam! Mystery solved!

  Matthew : That's not a half bad idea.

  Rod : Yeah.

• Rod : What are you? A Wyllie E. Coyote super genius or something?

  Matthew : Yeah. Something like that.

  Rod : Wait, the Coyote never caught the Roadrunner.

• Rod : [to Matthew]  Do you have any suspects yet?

• Rod : So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh?

  Matthew : You know what, she left these

  [handing Rod a pair of panties] 

  Rod : Let me see them.

  [sniffs] 

  Rod : I don't recognize this one.

  Matthew : Hey, give them back.

• Rod : You're never gonna get in that virgin vault man. They don't let boys on the girl's side.