Beethoven's 3rd (2000 Video)

Joe Pichler: Brennan Newton

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Brennan tries to watch "The Shakiest Gun in The West" on the DVD player; but as he presses play, he sees a computer code] 

  Brennan Newton : [to his dad; regarding the DVD]  Dad, this disc is a reject.

  Richard Newton : What? No, that was supposed to be one of the highlights of the trip.

• [Richard shows his family the RV for the first time] 

  Richard Newton : [to Brennan]  Hey, Brennan. I bet all your friends are gonna be staying in hotels this summer. We're gonna sleep beside pristine lakes in the great outdoors, and the beauty of it is...

  Richard Newton : [shouting; to his family]  ... this rig has everything! So, you'll never even know you left home.

  Brennan Newton : [not excited]  That's just it, Dad: It's home, but smaller for two weeks.

• [Richard is driving the RV through a bug zone on a desert road] 

  Brennan Newton : So, Dad, that hotel I mentioned? It's pretty close by.

  Richard Newton : [to Brennan]  We're not staying in a hotel. I didn't stay in one in my childhood motor home trip, and we ain't staying in one now! We're perfectly fine in our house on wheels, everyone got that?

• [first lines] 

  [Sara and Beth are packing for their trip] 

  Beth Newton : What are you doing?

  Sara Newton : [holding a camcorder]  Dad said I'm family videographer. I'm documenting our journey!

  [Beth grabs some items and chuckles at Sara's comment] 

  Beth Newton : We're not going on a journey, Sara. We're going on a very long drive.

  Beth Newton : Nuh-uh! Dad said we're taking a journey!

  [Beth chuckles again] 

  Sara Newton : Does the R.V. have a power port for my laptop?

  Beth Newton : Well, we're on a budget, Sara and the economy R.V. might not even have a toilet; but I'm sure it has a cigarette lighter.

  Sara Newton : [sternly]  Power port, mom. We don't say "cigarette lighter" anymore.

  Beth Newton : Well, we also don't walk around with a milk mustache no matter how much it accentuates our booger nose, Sara.

  [Beth wipes off Sara's milk mustache as she's filming] 

  Sara Newton : Sorry, I'm too excited about our trip. Mom, Dad has been quoted as saying this is gonna be the funnest vacation ever. Can we get *your* reaction?

  Beth Newton : Honey, driving across town to a family reunion, cooking, cleaning, organizing and budgeting is not fun and *not* a vacation! Yet, it's what I do with my free time.

  [Beth grimaces at Sara] 

  Beth Newton : [an old fashioned RV drives past the Newton residence] 

  Beth Newton : Oh no!

  Sara Newton : [disgusted]  Eww!

  Beth Newton : [worried this is the RV Richard bought]  No, please!

  [the clunker of RV has passed their drive way] 

  Beth Newton : [relieved]  Thank you.

  [a modern RV pulls into the Newtons' driveway] 

  Beth Newton : No! Not my gnomes!

  [the RV hits a couple of lawn gnomes as it stops in the driveway; much to Beth's annoyance] 

  Beth Newton : [commenting on the size of the RV Richard has rented]  He got the biggest one they had!

  [Richard steps out of the RV] 

  Richard Newton : Now this... is camping!

  Sara Newton : [as she runs to greet her father and check out the RV]  Dad, this is so cool!

  Richard Newton : You like it? Go check it out!

  [Brennan steps out of the RV irritated] 

  Brennan Newton : [to Richard]  You think that's cool? Wait until *your* friends drive by, pointing at it and laughing at *you*! Then we'll see how cool you think it is!

  Richard Newton : Brennan, maybe one of the just told a joke. Did you consider that?

  Brennan Newton : Yeah. The joke was, "Look everybody! Brennan Newton is going on vacation with his family in a bus!" God, how lame is that? Even Jessica Donnelly saw me.

  Richard Newton : Hey, Brenn. Your friends are all gonna stay in hotels this summer. We're gonna sleep beside pristine lakes in the great outdoors; and the beauty of it is this rig has everything! So you'll never even know you left home!

  Brennan Newton : That's just it, Dad. It's home, but smaller for two weeks.

  [Brennan takes off still irritated] 

  Brennan Newton : [under his breath]  I don't even wanna go on this stupid trip anyway.

• Richard Newton : [telling the truth of the disasterious road trip, at the bug crossing]  All I wanted to do is give my family a great vacation. It's been one disaster after another. This is even worse than the motor home vacation I had as a kid.

  Brennan Newton : [shocked at this deception]  What?

  Beth Newton : I thought you loved that trip.

  Richard Newton : [revealing his lie]  I hated it.

  Beth Newton : Well, then why do you keep telling us how much you loved it?

  Richard Newton : [telling the full truth]  Because I wanted to remember it that way. I wanted to forget how bad it really was. And the truth is... it was horrible. My brother and I fought the whole 2,000 miles. And Spartacus, our dog, was car sick. Can you believe that? A car sick dog? It was horrible. My mother -- My mother kept telling us how much fun we were having, but we weren't having any fun. My dad drove himself crazy trying to make sure we had fun.

  Sara Newton : [sparing his feelings]  It's okay, Daddy. We know how you feel.

  Brennan Newton : Yeah, Dad. We know exactly how you feel.