- Prince Richard: I need something soft and gentle and loving... a little dog or a hamster.
- The Fool: Now-now, Richie... .
- Prince Richard: Yes, you see, if I had a hamster, I could teach it clever tricks like... .
- The Fool: No no no, I think what you're talking about is a wife.
- Prince Richard: A wife?
- The Fool: Yeah.
- Prince Richard: Would that be better than a hamster?
- The Fool: Much.
- Princess Alecia: I'd like to sympathize with you but unfortunately life isn't always perfect.
- Prince Richard: Well, for a prince it jolly well ought to be.
- Princess Alecia: But it isn't.
- Prince Richard: Why not?
- Princess Alecia: Because princes are human beings and human beings aren't perfect. Of course, I come pretty close.
- Prince Richard: I say, do you know where you are?
- Princess Alecia: I know exactly where I am. I'm lost.
- Prince Richard: Why can't I find a woman who's... who's kind, and gentle and understanding?
- Princess Alecia: And *fun*, Richard, and fun.
- Prince Richard: And fun. Someone who's... who's... Well, just like you. Oh, I say.
- Queen Veronica: Who is this?
- Prince Richard: This is Princess Alecia, who happens to be the girl I've decided to m-m-m-m...
- Princess Alecia: Marry.
- Prince Richard: Thank you.
- Princess Alecia: Just a minute, you haven't passed my test. To see if you're a real prince or not.
- Prince Richard: [he sputters] That is absurd, of course I'm the prince. Ask anybody.
- Princess Alecia: Wait a minute. This is the test. You have to kiss me.
- Prince Richard: That's it?
- Princess Alecia: Would you wait a minute? You have to kiss me. And if you're a real prince, then I should hear trumpets playing and bells ringing, and I should see stars exploding.
- Prince Richard: Oh, Lord. I... I suppose I could give it a whirl.
- Princess Alecia: You could have backed me up!
- The Fool: A Fool who meddles is soon unemployed, if you get my drift.