King Cobra (1999 Video)

Casey Fallo: Jo Biddle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jo Biddle : Sir, the Still sighting was here, the 2 teenagers disappeared here, Simpsons place is here. And the most recent attack of, uh... was here.

  Nick Hashimoto : Ok. And that's all the attacks that you know about.

  Jo Biddle : Yeah that we know about.

  Nick Hashimoto : Hmm. Well, it's pretty clear that he's marked out his territory.

  Sheriff Ben Lowry : That's a pretty large area, my friend.

  Nick Hashimoto : He's a pretty large snake. Dr. Burns, how did you manage to cross an African King Cobra with an Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake?

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Gene-splicing.

  Nick Hashimoto : Gene-splicing. Interesting. Why would anyone want to combine two of the most deadly species of poisonous snakes?

  Dr. Irwin Burns : We wanted the most aggressive animals possible for testing.

  Nick Hashimoto : Fascinating.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Foolish.

  Mayor Ed Biddle : So how do we get rid of it?

  Nick Hashimoto : Well, first we have to find it, of course. I want to make sure that we all know and respect exactly what we're dealing with here.

  Deputy Bud Fuller : Respect?

  Nick Hashimoto : Yeah. Um, you see, in order to overcome a deadly opponent, you have to learn to think like it.

  Deputy Bud Fuller : I hate snakes.

  Nick Hashimoto : All right. Consider deputy Fuller, snakes kill in one year more people than sharks kill in a 100 years, hmm? They are responsible for more deaths then all the other dangerous animals in the world combined. Now that is a power you have to learn to respect just a little bit. Let's consider 'Ophiophagus Hannah' oh, the African King Cobra. Its venom, a tablespoon, even dried, can kill 165 people or 165,000 mice. Oh, and then there is 'Viboras De Cascabeles' spanish for Rattlesnake. Rattlesnake can strike at 10 ft. per second. It has the most highly developed fangs of all the venomous snakes. Now, my whole point is as if nature wasn't good enough, and thanks to science, we now have here a specimen with all these beautiful traits. Ha ha.

• Nick Hashimoto : Hey, hey. Snakes pick up on vibrations in the ground. Ok? So we want to make as little noise as possible. But here's the game plan. We're gonna pound stakes into the ground, that's the reason for the rubber mallet. We're going to attach the razor wire to each stake very tightly with this wire and that's the reason for the cutters and the gloves. So remember, work as quietly as you can, look out for anything that may be moving and, um, expect the unexpected.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : [notices a grappling wire harness]  is that all you got?

  Nick Hashimoto : Yeah. Why? What?

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Don't you have some kind of modern technology to fight this thing?

  Nick Hashimoto : These are the tools of my trade, Brad. I've been at this for over 25 years.

  Jo Biddle : But this is no ordinary snake.

  Nick Hashimoto : Well, the methodology for catching a snake doesn't change. Besides, I've made some modifications.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Why don't we just shoot the damn thing?

  Nick Hashimoto : Sure, let's shoot him, be my guest

  [holds shotgun over to Brad] 

  Nick Hashimoto : Go on shoot 'em. He's that tree over there. Shoot

  Dr. Brad Kagen : [takes shotgun]  Fine, you want me to shoot him? I'll shoot that tree.

  Nick Hashimoto : If you want to kill him instead of just pissing him off you're gonna have to hit him in the head. That's that rock about 6 inches off the ground. No, that's not him. There he is over there, he's that tree. Oh, he's going through the leaves, through the leaves, there he is at 10 O'Clock. Go ahead shoot him, man.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Ok, ok. I got the idea.

  Nick Hashimoto : You better got it. Because if you don't you're dead. Now you're calm right now. But you see this guy eyeball-to-eyeball, your adrenaline is going to kick in, you will not be calm. There's probably two people amongst us here, ok, maybe one, that maybe-- maybe could get off a shot, if we get lucky and if we get a chance. Believe me, guys... The gun is not the way to go. At best, it's only a backup.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : You're gonna go up there now?

  Nick Hashimoto : Yeah, thought I'd take a look, check some things out.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : I'll come with you.

  Nick Hashimoto : No, you stay here.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : What happened to never being alone in case of a bite? You know I am qualified for that

  Nick Hashimoto : Ah, I almost forgot, doctor. Can you ride a bike?

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Yeah, I think so.

  Nick Hashimoto : There's an extra one in there.

  Jo Biddle : Why the bikes?

  Nick Hashimoto : Less vibrations. Gets you closer to the action. Besides, I ain't a very good runner. I'm Japanese. Japanese were not built to run, we were built to last.

• Dr. Irwin Burns : How is this supposed to work again?

  Nick Hashimoto : The vibrations from the thumper box will attract Seth to the area.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Hopefully.

  Nick Hashimoto : Oh, he'll come. I designed that box myself. It always works. And when he sees the gourmet meal that we have catered for him, lunch time begins. And then while he's digesting and becomes a little sluggish, the show begins. I'll wrangle him into the tube. You guys will seal the tube, after he's cleared of course, and you lock him in. I'll turn on the gas and our overgrown elapid will go night night forever.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Are you certain there's enough gas in there to kill it?

  Nick Hashimoto : Absolutely.

  Jo Biddle : Well, what if you can't get him into the tube?

  Nick Hashimoto : Jo, you guys hired me for a job. Now you're all gonna to have to trust me.

  [Sees that Dr. Burns has a shotgun] 

  Nick Hashimoto : Dr. Burns, come on, you're not gonna need that.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Let's hope not.

• Dr. Irwin Burns : [Nick prevented Dr Burns from killing Seth with a shotgun]  What the hell is the matter with you? I had the shot.

  Nick Hashimoto : Shut up, that was not the plan.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Never mind the plan. It'd be dead by now.

  Nick Hashimoto : Bullshit. You'd have missed.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Not if you hadn't interferred.

  Nick Hashimoto : You screwed everything up!

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Your plan wasn't working!

  Jo Biddle : [shoots gun in the gun]  No time for this.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Let's just figure out what to do.

  Nick Hashimoto : Theres nothing to figure out. We gotta find him and get him into the goddamn tube before he kills us all first.

  Dr. Irwin Burns : Look, I had the shot.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : Why didn't you just stick to the plan?

  Dr. Irwin Burns : The plan, as far as I'm concerned, is to kill it no matter how. I had the shot and he knows it.

• Dr. Brad Kagen : So what's in the syringe?

  Nick Hashimoto : Saltwater base with a high concentration of King Cobra venom.

  Jo Biddle : I thought you said a spoonful of that would kill 100 men

  Nick Hashimoto : Yeah, it would. But i've been bitten so many times, and injected myself with increased dosages over the years that...

  Dr. Brad Kagen : That your body's built up the antibodies to counteract the venom. Jeez, he's like a walking supply of Antivenin.

  Nick Hashimoto : Something like that.

  [He injects himself] 

  Nick Hashimoto : Ahhh.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : You ok?

  Nick Hashimoto : I'm all right.

  Jo Biddle : How many times have you been bit?

  Nick Hashimoto : A few times too many. 167 times to be exact.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : How often you inject yourself?

  Nick Hashimoto : Couple times a month. See I can't let my antibodies slide. Otherwise, I got to start all over and build 'em up again. My blood has save a few lives over the years. When I kick the bucket no one will even care about my organs, but my blood could be worth millions.

  Jo Biddle : So what was your worst bite?

  Nick Hashimoto : Well, none of 'em were exactly pleasant. But- this is quite a story. I was working with a black mamba some years ago... Called him Sammy. Sammy was a pretty docile animal, but I got a little too lax in handling him one day and, uh, Sammy put his fangs in right here

  [shows puncture wounds on his hand] 

  Nick Hashimoto : they went all the way through and came out here. Luckily, I kept my head, so i milked Sammy and pulled him out of my hand without getting too much venom into the wound. You might even say we were blood brothers from then on. He even sends me a card now and then.

  Jo Biddle : That's amazing, Hash.

  Nick Hashimoto : Jo, he doesn't really send me a...

  Jo Biddle : Hash, I got it. I meant the story.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : So, uh, Hash, you got a plan for tomorrow?

  Nick Hashimoto : Yep. Well, enough campfire stories for tonight. I think I'll go relieve Burns.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : I figured he had a plan. I was just kind of curious what it was.

  Jo Biddle : Yeah, I think he kind of missed that point.

  Dr. Brad Kagen : You do think he has a plan, don't ya?

  Jo Biddle : Oh, yeah, I'm sure he does.

  Dr. Brad Kagen , Jo Biddle : [at the same time]  Yeah, yeah, he's gotta have...