OK, so it's a silly movie, but I think they knew that when they made it. And there are some neat little twists on the otherwise tired, overdone "Godzilla"-type genre. Borrowed a tape just because I knew someone in it, but I did loan it out to a couple pals, who also kinda liked it.
12 Reviews
Zarkorr!
BandSAboutMovies23 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Directed by Michael Deak and Aaron Osborne and written by Neal Marshall Stevens, this movie has aliens send a 185-foot, laser-eyed monster called Zarkorr to destroy Earth. The only man who can stop it is postal worker Tommy Ward (Rhys Pugh), who is helped by a 6-inch-tall pixie named Proctor (Torie Lynch), who is a mental image projected into his brain by another group of otherworldly creatures. However, the beast can't be destroyed by any weapon.
The Zarkorr scenes directed by Michael Deak were filmed before Neal Marshall Stevens wrote the script. That's the kind of movie that you're getting into. However, those are the best parts of this movie. Zarkorr is pretty awesome and I wish that he was in his own movie instead of this, something better and with a bigger budget. Yet he rises above, even if he gets defeated by a mirror.
The Zarkorr scenes directed by Michael Deak were filmed before Neal Marshall Stevens wrote the script. That's the kind of movie that you're getting into. However, those are the best parts of this movie. Zarkorr is pretty awesome and I wish that he was in his own movie instead of this, something better and with a bigger budget. Yet he rises above, even if he gets defeated by a mirror.
Not as much fun as one might like.
Hey_Sweden19 October 2019
"Zarkorr" is a colossal beast (over 180 feet tall) unleashed by an alien intelligence and let loose on Earth. These same aliens select the most average doofus in the U.S. of A., a postal employee named Tommy (Rhys Pugh), to be the saviour of the human race. They give him the bare minimum of information through the use of a hologram (played as a miniature valley girl by Torie Lynch), and tell him that if he tries to avoid responsibility, Zarkorr will track him down and destroy him. Tommy's mission gets off to a VERY bad start, but he does convert a cryptozoologist (Deprise Grossman) and a cop (Mark Costello) to his cause.
Even at a fairly brief running time of 76 minutes, this Full Moon debacle is a hard slog for a while. Its hero is a useless, whiny lump who only becomes more engaging as a character towards the end. But the hacker character - excuse me, "cybernaut" - played by Charles Schneider is far and away the most intolerable idiot in this turkey. You can't wait for his scenes to be over. The scientist and the cop were the two main characters who didn't get on this viewers' last nerve.
Unfortunately, too much of the running time here is devoted to uninspired banter between the unlikely heroes as they endlessly talk about how to defeat the creature. (Apparently, there's not a single man-made weapon on Earth that can harm it.) Zarkorr itself is fun - for a bargain basement knock off of Godzilla, anyway - but its admittedly cool scenes of destruction only take up about 10% of those 76 minutes. And those 76 minutes don't exactly fly by.
Die hard devotees of these types of films may find more value here, but this viewer found it too tiresome overall.
Four out of 10.
Even at a fairly brief running time of 76 minutes, this Full Moon debacle is a hard slog for a while. Its hero is a useless, whiny lump who only becomes more engaging as a character towards the end. But the hacker character - excuse me, "cybernaut" - played by Charles Schneider is far and away the most intolerable idiot in this turkey. You can't wait for his scenes to be over. The scientist and the cop were the two main characters who didn't get on this viewers' last nerve.
Unfortunately, too much of the running time here is devoted to uninspired banter between the unlikely heroes as they endlessly talk about how to defeat the creature. (Apparently, there's not a single man-made weapon on Earth that can harm it.) Zarkorr itself is fun - for a bargain basement knock off of Godzilla, anyway - but its admittedly cool scenes of destruction only take up about 10% of those 76 minutes. And those 76 minutes don't exactly fly by.
Die hard devotees of these types of films may find more value here, but this viewer found it too tiresome overall.
Four out of 10.
Hold your nose
knsevy28 October 2001
First, let me make it clear that I'm a big fan of bad sci-fi, especially when it involves gigantic, city-stomping monsters. But this one is so fantastically lame that I can't even like it for being bad. They apparently didn't shave enough money off the budget by skimping on the props (the only prop we have to indicate the size of the alien girl is an oversized novelty pencil, available at Spencer's Gifts for about fifteen bucks), they also decided not to outlay for concept or plot. The monster DOES look okay, in my opinion, but it doesn't have enough interaction with the backgrounds, i.e. not enough destruction to suit most fans of the genre. The general rule of giant monster movies is: If you don't have a lot of fake-looking buildings to smash, then you'd better have another fake-looking monster to wrestle with. This movie has neither. I can't make my final complaint about the movie without giving away the ending, but suffice to say the origin of the monster, and the method found to get rid of it, just don't hold water. Not even as well as most of these movies. Skip it.
For when you really want to get rid of those annoying guests...
gomi_girl1 April 2001
Yes, this movie sucks. But it's still a lot of fun to watch. Especially if you want to get rid of those annoying friends who only hang around you because they think your taste in films is "unique" and "cool", and they think the language you speak is "hip". Basically, if you've got someone hanging around you trying to absorb your personality, invite them over and make them watch Zarkorr! with you. This movie is loaded with inside jokes of a bizarre nature that the uninitiated simply WILL NOT GET. Come ON! An alien race presents itself to a postal worker, in the guise of a tiny mall chick? No one else found that funny? Or the interviews FOLLOWING the film, where the director EXPLAINS the monster camera angle? Don't see this film to entertain yourself. Rent this film to get rid of stragglers and door-to-door evangelists!
Stinks
Zarkorr14 February 1999
This movie stinks. IMDb needs negative numbers in its rating system to properly evaluate this turkey. The acting is either wooden or over the top; the film was apparently NOT written by anyone in particular; and the monster scenes were mediocre at best. Even as a movie driven solely by the monster scenes, those shots were so disappointing that they could not inspire any sympathy for the rest of the movie. I want the 80 minutes of my life back that this movie stole.
This movie belongs in the bottom 100.
chrono-110 April 2004
This is an utterly forgettable picture. A friend of mine picked it up in a bargain bin at a local rental place for $.50. He should have demanded a refund. Or at least a discount.
The plot is something like this: A giant monster threatens the earth and aliens decide that the most average human being on the planet must be chosen to save the earth. Thus a tiny holographic space alien appears before a postal worker and tells him that he's "it."
The devil is in the details when it's time to rate a movie, and on that count Zarkorr! The Invader fails miserably. The monster Zarkorr only has a few brief moments on the screen, totaling maybe 5 minutes tops (with a generous estimate). The cute alien hologram has even less screen time and might be the most interesting character to look at, and only because she's wearing a "teeny bopper" stereotype outfit, complete with a teasingly short pleated skirt. The climactic final battle with the monster is over before you can say "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over." In the next moment you are left to ponder whether you've just experienced a train wreck or if someone just drained 3 pints of blood out of you.
Admittedly though, this movie did deliver one line that my friends and I to this day still repeat and laugh at and was about the only bright spot in this otherwise abysmal picture. As the cast of "protagonists" is being "interrogated" by the fuzz, one of them responds to the questions with the statement "What are you, some kind of a question asker?" It is delivered in such a preposterous manner that if you're sitting with a group of friends (who won't be your friends long if you actually talked your friend into watching this) you may actually experience a howl or two of incredulous laughter.
While this is no Manos or Eegah (It's not even bad enough to be classically bad) this movie will still bore you with its awful dialog, unimaginative characters, and nonexistent special effects and still deserves to inhabit the bottom 100.
1.5/10
The plot is something like this: A giant monster threatens the earth and aliens decide that the most average human being on the planet must be chosen to save the earth. Thus a tiny holographic space alien appears before a postal worker and tells him that he's "it."
The devil is in the details when it's time to rate a movie, and on that count Zarkorr! The Invader fails miserably. The monster Zarkorr only has a few brief moments on the screen, totaling maybe 5 minutes tops (with a generous estimate). The cute alien hologram has even less screen time and might be the most interesting character to look at, and only because she's wearing a "teeny bopper" stereotype outfit, complete with a teasingly short pleated skirt. The climactic final battle with the monster is over before you can say "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over." In the next moment you are left to ponder whether you've just experienced a train wreck or if someone just drained 3 pints of blood out of you.
Admittedly though, this movie did deliver one line that my friends and I to this day still repeat and laugh at and was about the only bright spot in this otherwise abysmal picture. As the cast of "protagonists" is being "interrogated" by the fuzz, one of them responds to the questions with the statement "What are you, some kind of a question asker?" It is delivered in such a preposterous manner that if you're sitting with a group of friends (who won't be your friends long if you actually talked your friend into watching this) you may actually experience a howl or two of incredulous laughter.
While this is no Manos or Eegah (It's not even bad enough to be classically bad) this movie will still bore you with its awful dialog, unimaginative characters, and nonexistent special effects and still deserves to inhabit the bottom 100.
1.5/10
Makes Godzilla look exciting.
13Funbags3 July 2019
This movie has absolutely no action and a dumb story that is way too long. It could have been cut down to trailer length and you wouldn't miss anything. The only interesting things in this mess are the elderly man who wears a diamond engagement ring and the fact that the writers have no clue what an arc welder is. Ending my sentence with a preposition is better writing than the poop these fools put on film.
Poor.
danhollow6 May 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, I like monster movies as a general rule; I'm a big Godzilla, Gamera, King Kong, etc fan. I appreciate a good monster movie with a guy in a rubber suit. Zarkorr just sucks. The only part of it I liked was the beginning, they opened the movie with the monster erupting from a mountain. That was cool, and many monster movies have the problem of bothering us with the human characters and not introducing the monster(s) until a half hour in or so. The movie didn't go downhill from there, it flat out dropped dead. Lemme put it this way, this monster can shoot lasers from its eyes. Fun, right? They kill it by reflecting its eyes back at it. A regular guy just reflects them back at the monster when it finds him. Doesn't try to eat him, throw anything at him, step on him; just fires those lasers while they get reflected back at him, BAM. Zarkorr is dead. The worst Godzilla movie would be better than this junk.
Zarkorr the Lame!
kevinclark1988-123 October 2007
Aliens let lose a giant monster named Zarkorr, then send down a hologram that looks your average stupid teenage girl to tell postman, Tommy Ward (Rhys Pugh, in the only movie you ever see him in) that has been chosen to fight. Also if he loses the plant goes doom, so he goes off to fight Zarkorr the Invader! This movie is bad, very bad. So bad it you need negative numbers just to gave it a rattan. Horridly written, bad directing, way below Power Rangers over-the-top wooden acting that you're just whiting for a horde of Lumberjacks to come out of no where and cut them down! And don't get me started on the theme song at the end. The people who made this stemming pall of S$@# should not be aloud near a camera or any thing to do with films. Zarkorr is a cool looking monster that should have been in a movie a million times better than this one. Do your self a favour and don't see this movie, it's 80 or so minute of life. The actors that are in this never worked again by way.
3/10
3/10
Great Potential (Warning Spoilers)
asturdevant1 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
When the movie began and Zarkorr appeared, I already thought the film was off to a great start. The suit is pretty cool, which is easily the best thing about this movie, and there was already some destruction only five minutes in! However then the movie cut to Tommy Ward, the main, "hero," and an okay effect hologram appears in Tommy's apartment. The hologram girl tells Tommy that she is from an advanced civilization of aliens, and that they've sent a giant alien monster, Zarkorr, to....test out the human race's ability? This part didn't really make since, and I find it quite dumb, but it's pretty original. Anyway, Tommy sees Zarkorr decimating stuff on TV, and we finally get some more destruction, after 20 minutes of exposition no one cares about! Then Tommy decides it'd be a good idea to kidnap a cryptozoologist, and try to get info on how to kill Zarkorr. Then some Terminator type stuff happens when Tommy says he's the savior of mankind. Then we get some more destruction action, which goes on for about one whole minute. After that, the cryptozoologist tells Tommy to drive to some weird hacker guy, but that didn't really make sense. Once more exposition is over, we FINALLY get to the climax. Zarkorr goes on a pretty long destruction streak, and the two finally face off. Tommy finds some random shield from space which is his only weapon against a nearly 200 foot tall monster with laser eyes. Tommy uses the shield to deflect Zarkorr's laser eyes, and then the most anticlimactic fight is over. Zarkorr atomizes, and the film kinda just, ends. Zarkorr didn't even attempt to throw something at Tommy or even stomp him. What even was that?!
To be honest, this movie had great potential, I just wish there was more than five minutes of destruction in a movie that's 75 minutes long. And if you guessed the other 70 minutes is just useless moments of the characters talking, then you'd be correct. Listen, the destruction scenes we DO get a pretty awesome, and Zarkorr's design is super cool, but there needs to be MORE of it. And one more thing, when Tommy uses the shield to deflect Zarkorr's eye lasers, I'm pretty sure anyone could do that. Anyone could have been the savior of humanity, but why just some random postal worker? So many questions that won't be answered.
Give this movie a watch, it's got some good destruction scenes, and some okay human scenes. Just don't expect Godzilla tier entertainment or anything.
To be honest, this movie had great potential, I just wish there was more than five minutes of destruction in a movie that's 75 minutes long. And if you guessed the other 70 minutes is just useless moments of the characters talking, then you'd be correct. Listen, the destruction scenes we DO get a pretty awesome, and Zarkorr's design is super cool, but there needs to be MORE of it. And one more thing, when Tommy uses the shield to deflect Zarkorr's eye lasers, I'm pretty sure anyone could do that. Anyone could have been the savior of humanity, but why just some random postal worker? So many questions that won't be answered.
Give this movie a watch, it's got some good destruction scenes, and some okay human scenes. Just don't expect Godzilla tier entertainment or anything.
Funny low budget movie.
franco-2813 October 1999
If you are looking for King Kong, you mispelled your search! This is a low-low budget movie that was soley >ment to entertain people in a comic sense. Here is the >most ordinary human who is the only 1 who can save the >world from a 185' 300 ton behmouth. Surely you can see the humor in that.
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