The Thief and the Cobbler (1993)
Jonathan Winters: The Thief (Miramax version)
Quotes
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : What a dump! Nobody lives like this except college kids...
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : Finally, a benefit from my parents being circus people!
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : Rule number one: Keep your eye on the wire and have feet like a monkey. Rule number two: It's always good to wear underwear when you're up this high, otherwise you could attract a sizable crowd. That brings us to rule number three. Rule number three... what's rule number three? I always forget rule number three. Rule number one: eyes and feet, rule number two: underwear.
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : [makes to the top of the minaret] OK, OK. Who's got the camera?
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The Thief : [lifts smallest ball off mineret] You're gonna buy me a castle by the sea.
[lifts second ball off]
The Thief : And you're gonna buy me everything I need to turn the basement into a rec room. And with you,
[lifts third ball off, struggles]
The Thief : I tell ya, sweetheart, I'm going to Disneyland!
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : If I find out that's just gold paint...
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : Ooh! What's that? Oh, a naked lady. But wait! A golden backscratcher!
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : Drank my coffee, read the paper, now it's time to get to work
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : They should have a sign: "Beware of Signs".
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : Hey! Two trees on the edge of an impossible-to-climb cliff - perfect!
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[Miramax version]
The Thief : [falls into slingshot with one golden ball] No, guys. Come on. I'm not tall enough to ride this ride. Aaaand I suffer from dizzy-spells, honest. Aaaaaand I'm pregnant!
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[Miramax version]
Princess Yum Yum : [urgently] Back to the city, Roofless. Hurry! Hurry!
The Thief : [wearily giving chase] Yeah, "hurry"; *you're* being carried!
