The Sandlot (1993)
Wil Horneff: Phillips
Photos
Quotes
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[the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
Phillips : It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny Rodriguez : Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter : What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips : You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter : Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids : Yeah!
Phillips : We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter : Watch it, jerk!
Phillips : Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter : Moron!
Phillips : Scab eater!
Ham Porter : Butt sniffer!
Phillips : Pus licker!
Ham Porter : Fart smeller!
Bertram : [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips : You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter : You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids : Yeah!
Phillips : You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter : You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!
[entire group stands in shocked silence and Tommy Timmons' smile turns to shock]
Phillips : [Shocked] What did you say?
Ham Porter : You heard me.
Phillips : Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter : Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
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Ham Porter : Play ball! Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch.
[Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing]
Ham Porter : Haha, that's one.
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter : [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter : Here it comes, it's coming, I tell ya. *Strike three*
[Porter puts the batter off, he swings and misses]
Ham Porter : *You're out!"
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter : Hey, Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?
Phillips : [swings and misses again] Shut up, Porter!
Ham Porter : Hey, hey, hey, I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation, come on.
[two seconds later]
Ham Porter : Think she'll go out with me?