Barbarians at the Gate

1st Scientist: [talking about the smokeless Premier cigarette survey] Well of all the people we surveyed the results were just about uniform

F. Ross Johnson: Uh huh.

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: They all said they tasted like shit.

F. Ross Johnson: Like shit?

2nd Scientist: Shit was the consensus, yes sir.

F. Ross Johnson: They all said that? Nobody liked them?

2nd Scientist: Fewer than 5%

F. Ross Johnson: You said you heard the results were terrific.

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: There's nothing wrong with 5%, Ross, I'll take 5% of the smoking market any day of the week

F. Ross Johnson: How much are we into right now?

1st Scientist: Right now?

F. Ross Johnson: To date, to here, to now?

1st Scientist: Upwards of 350.

F. Ross Johnson: We've spent 350 million dollars and we come up with a turd with a tip? God almighty, Ed! We poured enough technology in this project to send a cigarette to the moon and we come up with one that tastes like it took a dump?

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: We haven't even talked about the smell.

F. Ross Johnson: Oh what did they say that was like? A fart?

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: Yep.

F. Ross Johnson: Oh you're not serious! They really said that?

2nd Scientist: We have an awful lot of fart figures.

F. Ross Johnson: Tastes like shit and smells like a fart! Got ourselves a real winner here, it's one goddamn unique advertising slogan I'll give you that.