- Sheriff Ledbetter: Remember, Mrs. Farmer. Whenever you buy a house, whatever's in the ground belongs to you - whether it's gold or oil... or Claude Musselman.
- Crocker: [reacting to Andy's anger about them, the movers, being late] You slept on the floor huh? We slept outside with the bugs and the wild animals. A bridge nearly killed us. Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is. And we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So stay the hell out of our way and keep your mouth *shut*!
- Elizabeth Farmer: I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! YOU know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it!
- Andy Farmer: I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in.
- Restauranteur: Most folks just don't seem to have a taste for testicles anymore!
- Elizabeth Farmer: Testicles?
- Old Character: Yes ma'am. Sheep balls.
- Restauranteur: That's right!
- Old Character: Tell 'em why yours are so tasty.
- Restauranteur: The trick is... you've got to clip them off, way up high.
- Andy Farmer: We came to Redbud filled with hopes and dreams of a better life. And basically, we've seen those hopes and dreams crushed and battered before our very eyes.
- Elizabeth Farmer: What's going on, Andy...? You're sinking into a pit of self-pity, defeatism, and alcohol... and you're enjoying it!
- Andy Farmer: [Andy and Elizabeth are showing Redbud to prospective buyers Bud and Betsy after hiring the town to "act normal"] This is going to cost us a fortune!
- Elizabeth Farmer: The fifty-dollar bonus was YOUR idea.
- Andy Farmer: [smiling] Little slice of heaven, isn't it, Bud?
- Newspaper Editor: Andy, all my life I've dreamed of packing up and leaving the city and the newspaper business behind.
- Reporter: What stopped you, Jack?
- Newspaper Editor: And moving to some quiet little town in the country and putting down on paper the novel I know I have inside me.
- Reporter: That's not a novel, Jack, its heartburn.