- Miz Beaver: Say albert, isn't that a plumber's helper you're mixin' with?
- Albert the Alligator: I ain't no snob! I'd even mix with a congersman's aide if... if I thought it'd help!
- Churchy LaFemme: [to Mam'selle Hepzibah] There'll only be one lady, YOU, and you'll be important... why, when Pogo gets his picture on a postage stamp, you'll be right there... on the back!
- Albert the Alligator: Hmm now first of all, uh, we should build a "Cleopatra's barge" for Miss Hepzibah, then we tow it twelve miles offshore and she rows up the Potomac, greeted by flame-throwers and a ba-rrage of flowers... we whisk her to the white house, and there on the lawn is her Prince Pogo!
- Molester Mole: The Presidency, my dear Deacon. Nothing less than the office of the President. It is our duty to control it. To protect it from every wrong-minded do-gooder boring from within - supporting the Constitution, spreading equality and even defending the rights of others - which will serve us no good whatsoever.
- Deacon Mushrat: Shocking! Shocking! What do you propose we do?
- Molester Mole: Much more than a proposal - a holy mission. We must seize the reins of power, sweeping aside those who are fool-minded enough not to know the truth as WE see it.
- Deacon Mushrat: And what if they defy us?
- Molester Mole: Defy us? Poobah-etically silence them! That is, after all, the purpose of government.
- Deacon Mushrat: I'm with you with to the end.
- Molester Mole: Dabbling with the public is useless. We must take the indirect path of true strength, act behind the scenes and see to it that a President is elected who will do as WE see fit.
- Deacon Mushrat: How will we get folks to vote for him?
- Molester Mole: Simple. We'll choose a candidate that has all those qualities the voting public traditionally finds appealing - a devious mind, a tendency towards underhandedness, an ability to make any promise, any time to anyone - and forget as soon as the election is over.
- Deacon Mushrat: That sounds reasonable to me. Nobody wants an honest President.
- Molester Mole: Brilliant, my dear Deacon.
- Deacon Mushrat: I have just the boy for us - Fremount Bug. His specialty is words of universal appeal.
- Molester Mole: Sounds a little highbrow to me.
- Deacon Mushrat: To the contrary, his entire brain could fit inside a thimble with room to spare. He is both appealing and hopelessly stupid.
- Molester Mole: A perfect choice for President. Excellent. Excellent.