Well, here we go again! This is yet another Hong Kong martial arts effort which is what it is, and in this case that means a movie with a plot which seemed to make no sense whatsoever! Seriously, this is liable to induce mild nausea on you if you try to follow it. It seems to be about a woman who seeks vengeance on three men who raped her but then there is a diamond smuggling thing going on and then there are also some ninjas kicking about who seem like they are from a different film entirely. You know the latter are ninjas as they wear bandanas with 'ninja' written on them - isn't that always the way? They get involved in some fight scenes so over the top they are worth a chuckle or two and they seem to be able to disappear at will (somehow). The soundtrack is Hong Kong style all the way (i.e. Absolutely no recognition of anything poncey like western copyright laws), to this end we have a score compromising of choice cuts from Kraftwerk, Pink Floyd and Tangerine Dream (oh what production values this film must have). Needless to say, its all severe idiocy, although if you have a tolerance for this kind of thing you may enjoy this demented chopsocky exercise in biscuit-taking nonsense. Venture at your own peril I would say though.
8 Reviews
Ninja Brain Damage
lemon_magic6 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
If I hadn't known about Godfrey Ho's penchant for cobbling together parts of disparate movies to make new product, the experience of watching "Ninja Champion" would have made me question my sanity. Even with that useful bit of foreknowledge, my critical consciousness could barely withstand the drubbing this move inflicted on it.
Movie number one is an amazingly turgid and incoherent story about a young woman who is raped while on a camping trip and decides to avenge herself by infiltrating the diamond smuggling gang the three rapists work for and killing them one by one. (BTW, one of her attackers is "the boxing champion of all Asia", yet he is brought to his knees when he is whipped with what appears to be...a shoelace.Admittedly, he had just been poisoned.)
Movie number two appears to be about 7 scenes (and a total of maybe 15 minutes) which feature a series of confrontations between a good ninja in white and some bad ninjas in red. These scenes are violently jammed at random into movie number 1, with only a few unconvincing and contrived lines of dialog to link them in any way to the far longer and more involved events of movie number one.
The good news about these scenes is that three of the red ninjas appear to have some pretty good acrobatic and wu-shu skills, so they each put on a nice little exhibition before the white ninja suddenly shows up and attacks them. (We get no explanation about how the white ninja found them.) The bad news is that both the white ninja and the head "red" ninja wear huge headbands that actually say "ninja" on them...you know, the kind of headbands that a 12 year old might buy from a Times Square shop because he thought they were cool.
Movie number one might have actually been watchable if seen in its original language with subtitles. But the translation and voice work here are so wrong-headed and silly that the dialog keeps yanking you out of the picture. I think that variations of the phrase "kill the damn bastards (who) raped me/you" were used almost 100 times. It's as if high school junior plotted the thing and a middle school student who saw "Death Wish" once wrote the dialog. Further reinforcing this feeling is the fact that none of the characters in the screenplay are given last names; so a typical line of dialog goes like this: "I'm glad you killed those bastards. My name is Larry." (Yes, a Chinese importer and underworld figure named "Larry".) You can imagine 9 year boys on a school playground saying stuff like this with no difficulty.
Anyway, the first movie comes to a (tragic) end, and then the 2nd movie tacks on another scene where the head red ninja explains (and explains and explains) to the white ninja how he (the red ninja) was actually responsible for all of it. Then he laughs maniacally. No, really, he does. Then they both teleport (!) to a playground, and they have on their headbands (that say "ninja" on them), and the red ninja jumps up on a jungle gym and the white ninja skewers him. The end.
I find it almost impossible to believe that the people who put this movie together thought that anyone above the age of 10 would be able to watch this thing without getting a splitting headache. (And why would a 10 year old be interested in the plot of the "main" movie?) And yet, they did; not once, but several times. I know this because my "50 Martial Arts Classics" collection has not only this movie by Ho, but also "Ninja the Protector" (which is slightly better) and "Ninja Empire" (which is even goofier.) It's amazing (and distressing) to think that two decades ago you could apparently put out anything with "Ninja" in the title at make at least a little money off it...because these movies are Ur-Cheese.
The only reason "Ninja Champion" gets more than one star is that some of the countryside and urban scenery are quite nice, and there are those nice little circus demonstrations by the three red ninja before they get turned into sushi.
Movie number one is an amazingly turgid and incoherent story about a young woman who is raped while on a camping trip and decides to avenge herself by infiltrating the diamond smuggling gang the three rapists work for and killing them one by one. (BTW, one of her attackers is "the boxing champion of all Asia", yet he is brought to his knees when he is whipped with what appears to be...a shoelace.Admittedly, he had just been poisoned.)
Movie number two appears to be about 7 scenes (and a total of maybe 15 minutes) which feature a series of confrontations between a good ninja in white and some bad ninjas in red. These scenes are violently jammed at random into movie number 1, with only a few unconvincing and contrived lines of dialog to link them in any way to the far longer and more involved events of movie number one.
The good news about these scenes is that three of the red ninjas appear to have some pretty good acrobatic and wu-shu skills, so they each put on a nice little exhibition before the white ninja suddenly shows up and attacks them. (We get no explanation about how the white ninja found them.) The bad news is that both the white ninja and the head "red" ninja wear huge headbands that actually say "ninja" on them...you know, the kind of headbands that a 12 year old might buy from a Times Square shop because he thought they were cool.
Movie number one might have actually been watchable if seen in its original language with subtitles. But the translation and voice work here are so wrong-headed and silly that the dialog keeps yanking you out of the picture. I think that variations of the phrase "kill the damn bastards (who) raped me/you" were used almost 100 times. It's as if high school junior plotted the thing and a middle school student who saw "Death Wish" once wrote the dialog. Further reinforcing this feeling is the fact that none of the characters in the screenplay are given last names; so a typical line of dialog goes like this: "I'm glad you killed those bastards. My name is Larry." (Yes, a Chinese importer and underworld figure named "Larry".) You can imagine 9 year boys on a school playground saying stuff like this with no difficulty.
Anyway, the first movie comes to a (tragic) end, and then the 2nd movie tacks on another scene where the head red ninja explains (and explains and explains) to the white ninja how he (the red ninja) was actually responsible for all of it. Then he laughs maniacally. No, really, he does. Then they both teleport (!) to a playground, and they have on their headbands (that say "ninja" on them), and the red ninja jumps up on a jungle gym and the white ninja skewers him. The end.
I find it almost impossible to believe that the people who put this movie together thought that anyone above the age of 10 would be able to watch this thing without getting a splitting headache. (And why would a 10 year old be interested in the plot of the "main" movie?) And yet, they did; not once, but several times. I know this because my "50 Martial Arts Classics" collection has not only this movie by Ho, but also "Ninja the Protector" (which is slightly better) and "Ninja Empire" (which is even goofier.) It's amazing (and distressing) to think that two decades ago you could apparently put out anything with "Ninja" in the title at make at least a little money off it...because these movies are Ur-Cheese.
The only reason "Ninja Champion" gets more than one star is that some of the countryside and urban scenery are quite nice, and there are those nice little circus demonstrations by the three red ninja before they get turned into sushi.
Made from real ninja movie parts!
kimble_bobby18 May 2002
Ninja Champion is a collage of martial arts movies glued together by a ridiculous plot. But that's what Godfrey Ho is known for. In the 80's Mr. Ho discovered you could take a bunch of cheap crappy movies and edit their fight scenes together to make a new movie!
The plot for Ninja Champion is as follows; three men rape a woman. The men turn out to be part of a diamond smuggling ring. The woman's ex-husband is an Interpol agent who wants to stop the diamond smugglers and help his ex-wife kill the three men that raped her.
Throughout this movie there are random scenes of nameless guys beating each other up for no reason. Nothing is ever explained. In one fight scene, one of the men changes from a guy with no shirt into a ninja dressed in a red suit. This is never explained, but then again the reason these people were fighting in the first place was never explained either.
If this movie were intentionally made as a comedy it would be the work of a genius. However, I don't think that was the case.
The plot for Ninja Champion is as follows; three men rape a woman. The men turn out to be part of a diamond smuggling ring. The woman's ex-husband is an Interpol agent who wants to stop the diamond smugglers and help his ex-wife kill the three men that raped her.
Throughout this movie there are random scenes of nameless guys beating each other up for no reason. Nothing is ever explained. In one fight scene, one of the men changes from a guy with no shirt into a ninja dressed in a red suit. This is never explained, but then again the reason these people were fighting in the first place was never explained either.
If this movie were intentionally made as a comedy it would be the work of a genius. However, I don't think that was the case.
Sleaziest Godfrey Ho film I've seen yet.
dariosmagata25 December 2019
Anyone who has seen some of Godfrey Ho's cut-and-paste movies knows that any genre of film was fair game for these. He added ninjas to action movies, horror flicks, rom-coms, police thrillers and just about anything else he could get his hands on. Here, the original movie is a rape-revenge flick and the result is one of the sleaziest Godfrey Ho films I've ever seen. It is pure grindhouse material!
At the beginning of the film, three man attack a couple camping in the woods, raping the woman. The woman's husband, who is an Interpol agent, leaves her as she is now "tainted". As time passes, the woman (named Nancy) decides to seek revenge on the three rapists by tracking them down, seducing them and then killing them one-by-one.
By pure coincidence, the rapists happen to be members of a criminal gang responsible for counterfeiting money. As a result, the ex-husband is also chasing them down as part of his job. Nancy declares that she going to kill him after she takes care of the rapists as punishment for divorcing her. Despite this, he still wants to help her as he believes he can atone for his mistake by doing so.
Added into this already insane story is the fact that the leader of the gang is a secret ninja, and so are some Interpol agents, and throughout the film both groups are training so they can fight each other. This is rather disappointing for Godfrey Ho standards as most of the time, there is a lot of ninja action, but here they mostly just stand around saying there's no need for them to do anything because Nancy is taking care of the killing for them. This means there is even less connection between the two stories than in most of these movies.
The ending of the Nancy story is absolutely nonsensical and defies all logic. You will not see it coming because there is absolutely no foreshadowing of the major twist that occurs - seriously, watch it for yourself and be dumbfounded. The ending of the ninja story, on the other hand, is as standard as can be, as the good ninja fights the bad ninja one-on-one, with predictable results.
Objectively, the film is pretty bad and probably doesn't even deserve 5/10, but as a strange grindhouse-style viewing experience it's unbeatable.
At the beginning of the film, three man attack a couple camping in the woods, raping the woman. The woman's husband, who is an Interpol agent, leaves her as she is now "tainted". As time passes, the woman (named Nancy) decides to seek revenge on the three rapists by tracking them down, seducing them and then killing them one-by-one.
By pure coincidence, the rapists happen to be members of a criminal gang responsible for counterfeiting money. As a result, the ex-husband is also chasing them down as part of his job. Nancy declares that she going to kill him after she takes care of the rapists as punishment for divorcing her. Despite this, he still wants to help her as he believes he can atone for his mistake by doing so.
Added into this already insane story is the fact that the leader of the gang is a secret ninja, and so are some Interpol agents, and throughout the film both groups are training so they can fight each other. This is rather disappointing for Godfrey Ho standards as most of the time, there is a lot of ninja action, but here they mostly just stand around saying there's no need for them to do anything because Nancy is taking care of the killing for them. This means there is even less connection between the two stories than in most of these movies.
The ending of the Nancy story is absolutely nonsensical and defies all logic. You will not see it coming because there is absolutely no foreshadowing of the major twist that occurs - seriously, watch it for yourself and be dumbfounded. The ending of the ninja story, on the other hand, is as standard as can be, as the good ninja fights the bad ninja one-on-one, with predictable results.
Objectively, the film is pretty bad and probably doesn't even deserve 5/10, but as a strange grindhouse-style viewing experience it's unbeatable.
Erm.....could you run the plot by me again one more time?!
HaemovoreRex28 June 2005
This is one of the very best of the many cut and splice ninja outings as cobbled together by those legendary cinematic rascals Joseph Lai and Godfrey Ho.
What can I say? This is absolutely mental!!!!!!!!! It truly has to be one of the most unfathomable, illogical and downright demented films I have ever had the pleasure (and confusion) to sit through!
The plot in this is without doubt the most bizarrely complex and muddled I have ever witnessed in any film!
The ending especially, when Maurice the evil ninja explains 'the beauty' of his plan (complete with a maniacal laugh!) is completely and utterly baffling and I frankly defy anyone to follow it without rewinding the scene a good few times in order to take it in!
Needless to say, Donald, our ninja hero played by always welcome genre regular Bruce Baron, is mightily peeved upon learning the villain's evil scheme (and no doubt also by his bewildering recounting of it!) and challenges him to a climatic battle which just has to be seen to be believed!
This film is about as crazy as they come and is all the more fun for it although be warned, it may well induce severe brain damage!!!
What can I say? This is absolutely mental!!!!!!!!! It truly has to be one of the most unfathomable, illogical and downright demented films I have ever had the pleasure (and confusion) to sit through!
The plot in this is without doubt the most bizarrely complex and muddled I have ever witnessed in any film!
The ending especially, when Maurice the evil ninja explains 'the beauty' of his plan (complete with a maniacal laugh!) is completely and utterly baffling and I frankly defy anyone to follow it without rewinding the scene a good few times in order to take it in!
Needless to say, Donald, our ninja hero played by always welcome genre regular Bruce Baron, is mightily peeved upon learning the villain's evil scheme (and no doubt also by his bewildering recounting of it!) and challenges him to a climatic battle which just has to be seen to be believed!
This film is about as crazy as they come and is all the more fun for it although be warned, it may well induce severe brain damage!!!
Others will probably be confused, but likely still reasonably entertained.
tarbosh2200018 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
When a woman named Rose is attacked in the woods and raped, she makes it her mission to track down her assailants one by one and get violent revenge. After killing one of them, she's on the run from the law, mainly represented by Interpol agents Donald (Baron) and George (Lam), though she and George continue to see each other on the sly. But the Interpol agents are also interested in these dastardly characters because they just so happen to be a gang of international diamond smugglers. Aren't they all. Presumably this is where Richard Harrison, playing a guy named Richard, comes into the picture and some warring ninjas face off in acrobatic duels, but it's hard to tell. Will Rose get her revenge? And what are all these ninjas doing here? Find out today...? By Godfrey Ho standards, this particular outing is relatively straightforward. By any other standard of movie-making, it's still a silly, nonsensical oddity, but what we have here is more or less a revenge drama with a couple of spliced-in ninja moments. Maybe Ho and the gang injected the ninjas simply because it was the Ninja Boom of the 80's and in order to get your movie in video stores, it had to have the word "ninja" in the title somewhere. And being the honest man that he is, he wouldn't give the public a movie called Ninja Champion and deprive it of ninjas. (Though to get really specific, it's not exactly clear who the "champion" refers to, but that's neither here nor there.) The movie would have worked just as well without said ninjas, however, and as a revenge drama it more or less works, if Godfrey Ho's style means anything to you.
Of course, the loud, abrasive dubbing is here, but to counteract that the clothes the characters wear and the home decor are truly something to behold, as they usually are in Mr. Ho's works. While George is an "Interpol agent with a license to kill", and Bruce Baron, who has had an interesting career in low budget movies, is there to back him up (though he does look a lot like Richard Harrison, so his casting adds yet more unnecessary confusion to the proceedings), and of course Harrison is here, from some other movie no doubt, but the most welcome re-appearance is the Garfield phone (first seen in Diamond Ninja Force). It's back! Fans must have demanded it, and it was nice to see.
Then a guy in a Michael Jackson jacket fights a guy with a bow-tie wielding a sword. Or, as an abbreviation, MJ Jacket vs. Bow-tie Sword. And including the aforementioned Baron and Harrison, the whole movie is a cavalcade of admirable mustaches. The baddies wear very weird clown makeup at random times, and of course our ninjas wear headbands that say "ninja" on them. Naturally, it all ends up at an abandoned warehouse, and by Ho standards the ending isn't even that abrupt.
So if you know and love the nutty cinematic stylings of Mr. Ho, here you will get what you're used to.
Others will probably be confused, but likely still reasonably entertained.
Of course, the loud, abrasive dubbing is here, but to counteract that the clothes the characters wear and the home decor are truly something to behold, as they usually are in Mr. Ho's works. While George is an "Interpol agent with a license to kill", and Bruce Baron, who has had an interesting career in low budget movies, is there to back him up (though he does look a lot like Richard Harrison, so his casting adds yet more unnecessary confusion to the proceedings), and of course Harrison is here, from some other movie no doubt, but the most welcome re-appearance is the Garfield phone (first seen in Diamond Ninja Force). It's back! Fans must have demanded it, and it was nice to see.
Then a guy in a Michael Jackson jacket fights a guy with a bow-tie wielding a sword. Or, as an abbreviation, MJ Jacket vs. Bow-tie Sword. And including the aforementioned Baron and Harrison, the whole movie is a cavalcade of admirable mustaches. The baddies wear very weird clown makeup at random times, and of course our ninjas wear headbands that say "ninja" on them. Naturally, it all ends up at an abandoned warehouse, and by Ho standards the ending isn't even that abrupt.
So if you know and love the nutty cinematic stylings of Mr. Ho, here you will get what you're used to.
Others will probably be confused, but likely still reasonably entertained.
A Mistake Masterpiece
dose_x27 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Whenever I sit down and watch Ninja Champion, I wonder to myself. "Did team of people that actually collaborated to make this movie actually think it was good?" There's just a mistake after another that even the least skilled film watcher could point out. The third generation film and audio, the quotes! When the boxer is dying on her bed, he claims the wine they drank was poisoned, she corrects him:
"No not the wine...my nipples, you jerk!"
She actually calls him a jerk! The guy raped her and the only thing she can come up with is "jerk"!? Touché! Then she proceeds to whip him to death with a SHOE LACE!?
BRILLIANCE!
myfriend_mike
ps:If anyone knows the name of the track that plays when the bald guy is leading the tampon cigarette guy and the short guy to their boat base, I will give them 10 bucks.
"No not the wine...my nipples, you jerk!"
She actually calls him a jerk! The guy raped her and the only thing she can come up with is "jerk"!? Touché! Then she proceeds to whip him to death with a SHOE LACE!?
BRILLIANCE!
myfriend_mike
ps:If anyone knows the name of the track that plays when the bald guy is leading the tampon cigarette guy and the short guy to their boat base, I will give them 10 bucks.
Ninja Champion
BandSAboutMovies2 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Also known as Kickboxing Connection, Ninja Boxing Cop and Ninja Connection 2, Ninja Champion starts with Rose (Nancy Chang) being assaulted by clowns over the opening credits. If you can get past that, then nothing can stop you in this movie. Because soon, her husband George (Roger Lam) leaves her, as he feels that she's been tainted and almost instantly gets married.
Yet he can't forget her. And his Interpol partner, Donald (Bruce Baron) - from completely new footage, as yes, this is a Godfrey Ho film - promises to watch out for her. But because George has a license to kill, he should probably keep close tabs and do the killing for her, as it looks. Like Rose is going for revenge.
By the way, Bruce Baron has just as wild of a movie career as another Godfrey Ho star, Richard Harrison (don't worry, he's in this). After graduating from Cornell, he appeared in forty movies, including Code Name: Wild Geese, The Atlantis Interceptors, Fireback and many more.
Rose starts by poisoning one of her nipples and drowning the "Boxing Champion of Asia" in the bathtub. All of the Rose and George footage is from the Korean revengeomatic Poisonous Rose Stripping The Night. But Godfrey Ho goes harder than ever in this one, bringing back footage of Richard Harrison from Ninja Terminator and yes, he's calling in on a Garfield telephone.
Oh yeah - Rose also cuts off the dick of almost every man she kills.
And George falls for a diamond smuggler named Jenny.
Trust me, that pays off in a way that you may not see coming.
There are also plenty of ninjas doing tricks with swords and hoops, as well as a final battle that takes place on the monkey bars of what I can only imagine is the playground of Godfrey Ho's kids' grade school. Well, a ninja just died on it and they left his body to rot.
Also I am a fan of the mentally challenged bald guy who ends up helping the good guys and George's absolutely insane off-color Michael Jackson jacket. Hills uses to sell the black and white one along with the black and red and I always wondered, "Who would buy the jacket Michael didn't wear for the very same price?"
It was George, the same guy who told his new wife to take a cold shower and go rent someone to make love to her, because he wasn't interested. The guy who left a woman who was the victim of triple ninja clown rape. You know. The hero of Ninja Champion.
This movie is just packed with stolen music, the true joy of any ninja. We're got Jean-Michel Jarre's "Second Rendez Vouz," "Third Rendez Vouz," "Fifth Rendez Vouz" and "Ethnicolor;" {ink Flord's "On the Run;" The Michael Schenker Group's "Into the Arena," Andrew Poppy's "The Object Is a Hungry Wolf" and "Listening In;" ZZ Top's "Sleeping Bag;" Kraftwerk's "Trans Europe Express;" a track by Oscar; "Stereotomy" and "Where's the Walrus?" by The Alan Parsons Project; "Junku" by Herbie Hancock; two songs from the soundtrack to Armored Trooper Votoms; "Ain't I Cute" by Japanese synth artist Osamu Shoji; "Voyeur" by Hubert Kah; a song from the Japanese show Ultra Q; a song from the anime The Unchallengeable Daitarn 3; "Bois de Boulogne (Paris)," "Thru Metamorphic Rock," "Diamond Diary" and "Lana" - which is from Risky Business - by Tangerine Dream and "The Other Side of Time" by French space disco artist Roland Romanelli.
I mean, this movie starts off with a remixed Star Wars theme, as if it is ready to announce to the world that copyright infringement is your best entertainment value.
Yet he can't forget her. And his Interpol partner, Donald (Bruce Baron) - from completely new footage, as yes, this is a Godfrey Ho film - promises to watch out for her. But because George has a license to kill, he should probably keep close tabs and do the killing for her, as it looks. Like Rose is going for revenge.
By the way, Bruce Baron has just as wild of a movie career as another Godfrey Ho star, Richard Harrison (don't worry, he's in this). After graduating from Cornell, he appeared in forty movies, including Code Name: Wild Geese, The Atlantis Interceptors, Fireback and many more.
Rose starts by poisoning one of her nipples and drowning the "Boxing Champion of Asia" in the bathtub. All of the Rose and George footage is from the Korean revengeomatic Poisonous Rose Stripping The Night. But Godfrey Ho goes harder than ever in this one, bringing back footage of Richard Harrison from Ninja Terminator and yes, he's calling in on a Garfield telephone.
Oh yeah - Rose also cuts off the dick of almost every man she kills.
And George falls for a diamond smuggler named Jenny.
Trust me, that pays off in a way that you may not see coming.
There are also plenty of ninjas doing tricks with swords and hoops, as well as a final battle that takes place on the monkey bars of what I can only imagine is the playground of Godfrey Ho's kids' grade school. Well, a ninja just died on it and they left his body to rot.
Also I am a fan of the mentally challenged bald guy who ends up helping the good guys and George's absolutely insane off-color Michael Jackson jacket. Hills uses to sell the black and white one along with the black and red and I always wondered, "Who would buy the jacket Michael didn't wear for the very same price?"
It was George, the same guy who told his new wife to take a cold shower and go rent someone to make love to her, because he wasn't interested. The guy who left a woman who was the victim of triple ninja clown rape. You know. The hero of Ninja Champion.
This movie is just packed with stolen music, the true joy of any ninja. We're got Jean-Michel Jarre's "Second Rendez Vouz," "Third Rendez Vouz," "Fifth Rendez Vouz" and "Ethnicolor;" {ink Flord's "On the Run;" The Michael Schenker Group's "Into the Arena," Andrew Poppy's "The Object Is a Hungry Wolf" and "Listening In;" ZZ Top's "Sleeping Bag;" Kraftwerk's "Trans Europe Express;" a track by Oscar; "Stereotomy" and "Where's the Walrus?" by The Alan Parsons Project; "Junku" by Herbie Hancock; two songs from the soundtrack to Armored Trooper Votoms; "Ain't I Cute" by Japanese synth artist Osamu Shoji; "Voyeur" by Hubert Kah; a song from the Japanese show Ultra Q; a song from the anime The Unchallengeable Daitarn 3; "Bois de Boulogne (Paris)," "Thru Metamorphic Rock," "Diamond Diary" and "Lana" - which is from Risky Business - by Tangerine Dream and "The Other Side of Time" by French space disco artist Roland Romanelli.
I mean, this movie starts off with a remixed Star Wars theme, as if it is ready to announce to the world that copyright infringement is your best entertainment value.
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