Rescue from Gilligan's Island (1978 TV Movie)

Bob Denver: Gilligan

Quotes 

• [spotting a Coast Guard helicopter] 

  Skipper : I can't believe it. After fifteen years, we're finally rescued.

  Mary Ann : Rescued.

  Mrs. Howell : Rescued.

  Ginger Grant : Rescued.

  Mr. Howell : Rescued.

  Professor : Rescued.

  Gilligan : Rescued.

• [last lines] 

  Gilligan : [after the castways have been re-stranded]  What's wrong, everybody? We're home again!

  Skipper : Yes, Gilligan, WE'RE HOME AGAIN.

• Gilligan : Hey, Skipper, why don't you donate your pants? When they fill with air, we can fly to Hawaii.

  Skipper : [sarcastically]  Very funny.

• [The seat of the chair the Skipper is sitting in has been varnished] 

  Skipper : What could be stupider than varnishing the seat of a chair?

  Gilligan : Sitting in the seat of a chair that's just been varnished.

• [The castaways are planning to tie their huts together to make a raft] 

  Skipper : Only question is, will it have enough bottom?

  Gilligan : If that's the question, Skipper, you sure got the answer.

• Gilligan : [after telling the Skipper that "Star Wars" is a dirty movie]  "Skipper, don't you know? R2D2 is a four-letter word!"

• [the Professor tries to stick a mast out through the roof of the cabin, but it doesn't go through] 

  Skipper : What seems to be the problem, Professor?

  Professor : Well, it's not fitting for some reason.

  Gilligan : Skipper, give me a boost. I can get it.

  Skipper : All right, little buddy. Put your right foot right on my hand...

  [pushes Gilligan upward; Gilligan goes right through the roof and sticks out] 

  Gilligan : I think you got me a little too high, Skipper.

  Skipper : Gilligan, come down from there this *minute*!

  Gilligan : Look out below!

  [drops down onto Skipper's shoulders; Skipper mumbles whilst trying to keep his balance; both he and Gilligan crash through the cabin's wall and collapse to the sand; Skipper grabs a thick pole; Gilligan whimpers as Skipper chases him; the Professor shakes his head] 

• Gilligan : Hey, everybody! I got some good news!

  Skipper : You spotted a rescue boat!

  Gilligan : No, that'd be great news. All I got is good news. Hey, we're having broiled snapper for dinner.

  Professor : Broiled?

  Gilligan : Uh-huh.

  Skipper : How are you *cooking* it?

  Gilligan : With a fire.

  Skipper : With a fire? Where did you build a fire?

  Gilligan : On the deck.

  Skipper : On the *deck*?

• Governor's Aide : Aloha. On behalf of the governor of Hawaii, may I present you with the key to the city.

  Gilligan : Oh, it must open some big door, huh?

  Governor's Aide : The entire world was thrilled when the Coast Guard radioed word of your rescue after 15 years. Telegrams and calls have been pouring in. I'd like to present you with the most important one first. This telegram is from Jimmy Carter.

  Mr. Howell : Jimmy who?

  Governor's Aide : Jimmy Carter. He's the president now. He succeeded Ford.

  Mrs. Howell : Ford who?

  Governor's Aide : Gerald Ford. He came after Watergate.

  Ginger Grant : Watergate who?

  Mary Ann : Oh, I'm afraid we've been away a long time.

  Professor : Yes, it seems that everything has changed.

• Skipper : [wading in the water]  Help! Help, Skipper!

  Skipper : Why, I can hear my little buddy calling out my name like he was still here.

  Gilligan : Help, Professor!

  Professor : That's odd, now I can hear him calling me.

  Mr. Howell : That's nothing odd at all. It's the dear boy reaching out to us from the great beyond.

  Gilligan : Help, Ginger, Mary Ann!

  Mary Ann : Ginger, do you believe in ghosts?

  Ginger Grant : No, but I believe Gilligan's haunting this hut.

  Gilligan : Help, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, somebody!

  Mrs. Howell : Somebody? How informal.

  Professor : That's Gilligan, and it sounds like he's just beyond that wall.

  Skipper : [sticks his head through the wall]  Little buddy, Gilligan! He's out there, everybody, and he's okay!

• Skipper : [sits in another chair that's been varnished]  Gilligan!

  Gilligan : Skipper, you gotta stop sitting in chairs that already been varnished.

  Skipper : Will you get away from me? Before I varnish you!

• Skipper : Just think what we missed during the past 15 years. Three different president, astronauts walking on the moon, and miniskirts. We even missed the miniskirts.

  Gilligan : What are miniskirts?

  Skipper : Remember when we left, women's skirts were clear down to here. While we were gone, they came up to here. Now they're back down to here again. Gilligan, we missed from here to here.

• Skipper : What's wrong, Ginger?

  Ginger Grant : Well, this is what's wrong. I've never read anything so terrible. It's full of four-letter words.

  Gilligan : Oh yeah? She's right, Skipper. You can't imagine how many four-letter words. When, this, from, both, like, all four-letter words. Where, that's a five-letter word.

  Skipper : Gilligan, I don't think *those* words are what are bothering her.

  Gilligan : There's a lot of words in here I don't understand what they mean. Look at this one, it starts with a...

  Skipper : Never mind, Gilligan.

• Ginger Grant : Gilligan, there was no nudity or dirty words in Star Wars.

  Gilligan : How 'bout Jaws? That big shark goin' around, da dum, da dum mmm.

  Ginger Grant : Nothing dirty about that picture, either.

  Gilligan : How about Julia?

  Ginger Grant : No nudes, no dirty words.

• Gilligan : Ah Professor, is that one of your experiments?

  Professor : Yes. But it starts over there, Gilligan.

  Gilligan : Oh wow, Professor, look at all this stuff. I mean, how do you do all that?

  [knocks over the science set] 

  Skipper : Gilligan!

  Gilligan : Sorry, Professor.

  Professor : Oh that's all right, Gilligan. That's not part of my experiment. You see, I was expecting you today, so I set that up especially for you.

  Gilligan : Well thanks, Professor.

• Professor : I'm sorry, Dean, these are my good friends, the Skipper and Giiligan. We were all shipwrecked together on the island.

  Dean : You spent 15 years with him?

  Gilligan : Yes, sir. When the Professor first met me, I was a young stupid kid. He's made me what I am today.

• Skipper : Hi, there, Gilligan. Give me a hand with this trap, will you?

  Gilligan : Mum.

  Skipper : "Mum" what?

  Gilligan : Mum's the word.

  Skipper : About what?

  Gilligan : [scoffs]  If I told you, it wouldn't be mum.

  Skipper : Who told you to keep it mum?

  Gilligan : The Professor.

  Skipper : The Professor? If the Professor told you to keep it mum, it must be serious. *Is* it serious?

  Gilligan : Mum.

  Skipper : Very serious?

  Gilligan : Mum, mum.

  Skipper : Very, *very* serious?

  Gilligan : Mum, mum, mum.

  Skipper : Are our *lives* at stake?

  Gilligan : Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum!

  Skipper : Gosh, I gotta find out about this!

  [runs away from Gilligan] 

  Gilligan : Remember, I didn't tell you anything! I kept it mum!

• Skipper : Of all the dumb, idiotic, thoughtless things that you've ever done...!

  Gilligan : Well, I was only trying to cook the fish!

  Skipper : But-- Yeah! You-- You almost cooked *us*! That would've been the end of the rescue!