Columbo (TV Series)

The Conspirators (1978)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Columbo : A rare old bird is the pelican. His bill holds more than his belly can. He can take in his beak enough food for a week. I'm damned if I know how the hell he can!

• Lt. Columbo : There once was an old man from Lyme who married three wives at a time. When asked "Why a third?" he replied, "One's absurd, and two of 'em, sir, is a crime."

• Lt. Columbo : There once was a fella named Finnegan, who escaped from a jail so to sin again. He broke laws by the dozen, even stole from his cousin, so the jail he broke outta he's in again.

• Lt. Columbo : [Shocked at the high price of a book]  $55 for a book? I could have my car fixed for that.

• [final line] 

  Lt. Columbo : This far, and no farther!

• Lt. Columbo : I couldn't resist trying your pinball machine. I guess I tried a little too hard, but that's an old problem with me, sir. The way I keep steering and pushing and pulling at things, someday the whole sky is gonna light up, and it's gonna say "tilt," and that's gonna be the end of the world.

• Lt. Columbo : There's just one more thing, sir!

• Lt. Columbo : This man Pauley, ma'am. He was found murdered a few days ago. Forgive me ma'am, for being indelicate like that. But you know, all the years that I've been doing this kind of work, I still don't know how to make it sound inoffensive when one person kills another.

• Lt. Columbo : Excuse me, ma'am. That's a continental stitch, isn't it?

  Kate O'Connell : You do needlepoint, Lieutenant?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh no, not me, ma'am. My nephew's the needlepointer. It seems to relax him before he goes into those weight lifting contests.

• Lt. Columbo : Now, do you notice anything special about these three bottles?

  Joe Devlin : They are, alas, empty.