Plot

Two professors visit an archaeological dig near a caravan park. Amidst eccentric characters and sexual humor, the caravan site sinks, leading to a striptease performance instead of the planned cabaret.

Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.—Graeme Huggan <hia95gh@sheffield.ac.uk>

The Riverside Caravan Site has recently been purchased by the somewhat guileless Major Leep, who, in doing some renovations, including digging a new cesspit, discovers what look to be ancient Roman artifacts on site. As such, an archaeological team led by Professor Roland Crump and which includes a new assistant, Roman expert Anna Vrooshka, and many of his students, have taken up temporary residence while they conduct a dig. Their stay is complicated in that conservative Crump and free spirited Vrooshka are forced to share the only caravan available. Others holidaying at the park are: lovingly married Arthur and Linda Upmore, who were forced to bring Linda's shrewish mother Daphne, her large cacti houseplants and her recently acquired myna bird, Daphne who does not only not like Arthur but most men in believing they like her lazy husband Henry from who she separated ten years ago and has not seen since; friends Fred Ramsden and Ernie Bragg who told their respective wives that this was a fishing trip, while at least for Fred it was always intended to be one where he could chase girls; married Joe and Norma Baxter whose Irish wolfhound Oliver takes up more space than the two of them combined; and young, nubile cyclists Sandra and Carol who are able to cajole Major Leap to let them stay at what is the caravans-only camping site. Mayhem ensues with this collective, the situations largely exacerbated by Vrooshka's command of the English language being limited, Oliver often running rampant through the site, the myna bird having a more risqué phraseology than Daphne would admit, and the site's vagabond caretaker, Banks, doing whatever to bilk anyone and everyone of a few quid here and there, he having a past association to someone currently vacationing there.—Huggo

Archaeology and camping are a strange combination, but when Major Leep discovers Roman remains under his run-down campsite, the visiting holiday- makers have to mix with the flocking archaeologists. Confusion is bound to follow, and a string of misunderstandings lead to chaos.—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <Simon.N.Smith@cs.cf.ac.uk>

Frustrated butcher Fred Ramsden (Windsor Davies) and his dim electrician mate Ernie Bragg (Jack Douglas) happily head off for a fishing trip while their respective wives Sylvia (Liz Fraser) and Vera (Patricia Franklin) look forward to their health farm holiday. Once at the caravan site of Major Leap (Kenneth Connor), Fred starts making eyes at a couple of gorgeous campers, Carol (Sherrie Hewson) and Sandra (Carol Hawkins). Sandra and Carol seduced Leap to allow him to pitch their tents at the caravan site.

Fred tells Ernie that for the duration of the current holiday, he wants to consider himself as single. However, as Ernie talks in his sleep and any infidelities are likely to be repeated in the marital bed after their holiday, and therefore Fred is despondent as all his indiscretions are likely to make their way back to Sylvia through Vera.

Ernie and Fred invite Carol and Sandra for dinner. The guys go shopping for some drinks but end up burning their chicken in the caravan oven.

Professor Roland Crump (Kenneth Williams) teams with Roman expert Anna Vrooshka (Elke Sommer) in an archaeological dig at the site. Roland is examining a new find at this archaeological site which is located next to a caravan site. The site was digging a new cesspit when they came across a buried mural from the Roman era. Anna is a young & sexy Russian, who has been assigned as Roland's assistant, to "improve cultural relations". Anna has rammed her car into Roland's caravan & hence now they have to rent an accommodation at the camp site.

They can only find 1 caravan which they have to share. The available caravan belongs to the odd jobs man Henry Barnes (Peter Butterworth), who charges Roland 30 pounds per week for his caravan, which is not even very tidy to begin with. Anna negotiates it down to 15 pounds per week. Anna then proceeds to clean up the caravan to make it livable.

Roland is a simpleton and an awkward professor of archaeology. In one lecture he ended up showing the film of a burlesque dancer instead of the footage from his dig site. It was already too late before Roland identified his mistake. Anna goes around the campsite to borrow supplies for her own caravan. Henry mixes up the signage on the showers and as a result Anna and Roland end up in the same shower room.

Arthur Upmore (Bernard Bresslaw) and his wife Linda (Patsy Rowlands) are saddled with her mother Daphne (Joan Sims) and her vulgar Mynah bird. Daphne feels that Arthur is always insulting her, while it is always the Mynah saying rude words at inappropriate moments that implicate Arthur.

Daphne is always picking on Arthur and even kicks him out of his own caravan. Arthur goes to take a bath and ends up in the same shower room as Anna and Arthur, just as Arthur was running out. The Mynah is released by a large dog on the site, that belongs to Norma. Daphne and Linda go looking for it and find Arthur in the showers with Anna.

Meanwhile, the Mynah is hiding in the bushes near the site and passing rude comments at passing women, including Norma. Norma brings Leap with her to investigate, while Arthur also hears the Mynah and goes to apprehend it. Leap sees Arthur in the bushes and believes Arthur is the pervert who is passing the loose comments in the woods. Leap corners Arthur and learns that the Mynah was to blame for the inappropriate comments.

Arthur is caught in a compromising position with blonde babe Norma Baxter (Adrienne Posta) whose husband Joe (Ian Lavender) is lumbered with their giant wolfhound.

Fred & Ernie accidentally set fire to Carol & Sandra's tent. To make up they provide them their caravan & even buy them new tents & complete kits. But Carol and Sandra both run off with the excavation boys for a swim, leaving them with a severe case of heightened sexual tension.

After a few pints with the amused pub landlord (David Lodge), Fred and Ernie discover that the caravan site is riddled with excavation holes. The holes were dug by Anna & Roland, who theorized that the main Roman excavation site lay just below the campsite & hence they went about finding it, without having any permissions. Anna & Roland end up destroying the camps water supply. Major Leap installs a new PA broadcast system, which is vandalized by the camp residents as it is perceived to be annoying and intrusive.

Daphne is perturbed by the discovery of her estranged husband, Henry Barnes living a downtrodden life as the camp's odd-job man, despite having won the football bet for 19,950 pounds. Henry tries to convince Daphne to move back with him as he now has 20,000 pounds to his name which he is willing to offer her. Major Leap is determined to give the place a boost and arranges an evening cabaret for the caravan guests but a mix-up over the phone secures a stripper, Veronica (Jenny Cox), rather than the singer he wanted.

With Carol and Sandra having hooked up with archaeology students, Bob (Brian Osborne) and Clive (Larry Dann) Fred and Ernie pick up Maureen (Diana Darvey) and Sally (Georgina Moon), a couple of beauties from the village.

As the party progresses, the ladies are offended by Veronica & prepare to leave. Major Leap had recently got the chairs of the clubhouse painted & as they had not yet dried, everyone who sat on them got their pants ripped. The ensuing chaos saw everyone leave the clubhouse in a hurry. To make matters worse, it starts raining & Sandra & Carol seek shelter in Fred & Ernie's caravan. Fred and Ernie arrive with their mates, drunk. That's when their wives Slyvia and Vera decide to show up, fed up from their health farm holiday. They end up beating up everybody.

The next morning Anna & Roland hook up in their caravan as the rest of the caravan guests leave one by one. Daphne & Henry are united. Fred and Ernie are united with their wives.