Herschel Bernardi is an accountant and recent widower with two sons who is confused by many things: the difference between hiring a maid and an afternoon escort, how to feed his family without going out to eat every night and...New Math. Brash, occasionally funny TV-movie, directed by Jerry Paris and co-produced by Paris and Aaron Spelling, spotlights some amusing ladies, mostly from TV (Shirley Jones, Nanette Fabray, June Lockhart, Tina Louise, and Penny Marshall in a bit). Colorful and harmless, a cartoony sketch of modern-day dating in place of a satirical study on the subject. The gummy photography and thick-as-a-brick background scoring are both irritating, and there's too much of mush-mouthed Brandon Cruz as Bernardi's youngest child; otherwise, a lightly charming piece of harmless fluff.
6 Reviews
light, enjoyable, sexy
beauzee12 December 2014
Hershel Bernardi has a real "bevy of beauties" from all age groups here, as he is a suddenly single 40s something Professional in 1970.
Living in a College Community, he is the older, wiser, and very desirable target of hot, blonde college girl Sue Lyon, switching around his office in a funky mini skirt. He is more comfortable with Joyce Van Patton, the Housekeeper, more in his age group...and actually less challenging, intellectually.
His precocious son gives him advice he does not need.
This movie appears to be unavailable even on VHS and that's a shame. I watched my Betamax TV dupe about 50 times.
Pretty strong for a Made For TV movie.
Let me know when it comes out! :)
Living in a College Community, he is the older, wiser, and very desirable target of hot, blonde college girl Sue Lyon, switching around his office in a funky mini skirt. He is more comfortable with Joyce Van Patton, the Housekeeper, more in his age group...and actually less challenging, intellectually.
His precocious son gives him advice he does not need.
This movie appears to be unavailable even on VHS and that's a shame. I watched my Betamax TV dupe about 50 times.
Pretty strong for a Made For TV movie.
Let me know when it comes out! :)
Walter is a recent widower...and everyone around him INSISTS that he get married!
planktonrules22 September 2016
"But I Don't Wanna Get Married" is a surprisingly frank movie about sex. While it doesn't SAY a lot of things, it's very clear that despite being a widower, Walter has some amazing sex!
When the film begins, you learn that Walter (Hershell Bernardi) is a widower and father of two boys. Despite being, at best, an ordinary looking guy, he finds that an amazing number of gorgeous women find him attractive...and he isn't exactly looking for a replacement wife despite proddings from some do-gooders. Eventually he relents and begins dating. The woman his sister-in-law picked out is just god- awful (Nanette Fabray) but soon Walter finds his very sexy secretary coming on to him, his neighbor (Shirley Jones), his youngest son's teacher (Tina Louise) and even a 'professional girl' (oddly played by Joyce Van Patten). And, by the end of the film, he's found a delightful woman more his speed (June Lockhart).
Despite it being very hard to imagine Bernardi being a chick magnet, this is a decent and entertaining film. But I was surprised with his relationship with Van Patten's character. She was clearly a prostitute and it was clear he had sex with her twice! This must have really shocked folks back in 1970 and I am a bit surprised that they got away with this one. Overall, certainly far from a must-see but worth seeing if you are curious.
When the film begins, you learn that Walter (Hershell Bernardi) is a widower and father of two boys. Despite being, at best, an ordinary looking guy, he finds that an amazing number of gorgeous women find him attractive...and he isn't exactly looking for a replacement wife despite proddings from some do-gooders. Eventually he relents and begins dating. The woman his sister-in-law picked out is just god- awful (Nanette Fabray) but soon Walter finds his very sexy secretary coming on to him, his neighbor (Shirley Jones), his youngest son's teacher (Tina Louise) and even a 'professional girl' (oddly played by Joyce Van Patten). And, by the end of the film, he's found a delightful woman more his speed (June Lockhart).
Despite it being very hard to imagine Bernardi being a chick magnet, this is a decent and entertaining film. But I was surprised with his relationship with Van Patten's character. She was clearly a prostitute and it was clear he had sex with her twice! This must have really shocked folks back in 1970 and I am a bit surprised that they got away with this one. Overall, certainly far from a must-see but worth seeing if you are curious.
Very Sweet 70's TV Movie
darad8 July 2006
As a child growing up in the 1960's and 1970's I used to love to watch those wonderful ABC Movie of the Week made-for-TV movies. The theme would start with the gorgeous Burt Bacharach's "Nikki", an all time favorite song from one of my all time favorite composers. One of those most memorable movies was 1970's "But I Don't Want To Get Married!" a simple comedy about a widower, played by the late great Herschel Bernardi and his two sons who move to California to start a new life. Walter (Bernardi) discovers the single life and suddenly becomes the target of blind dates, set-ups and the desires of several needy single women. Everyone wants what's good for Walter but he's still not over his loss nor is he ready to make a commitment and settle down, neither are his sons ready for a new mother.
This is a sweet, heart-warming movie with a very likable cast like the movie's director and co-producer Jerry Paris as Walter's playboy co-worker, Brandon Cruz as his youngest son best known for his role in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" and of course the unforgettable women Shirley Jones, Tina Louise, Nanette Fabray, Sue Lyon, June Lockhart and others.
I love the time this movie was made; no big social issues weighed it down, no one slept around and while its topic has been done several times (before and after) still takes you back to a more innocent time not so long ago. A few years ago it played on a late-late night broadcast and luckily I managed to record it. I have never seen it since then or on video. It's too bad others can't share what makes this movie a somewhat forgotten gem especially being produced by another late great, Aaron Spelling.
It can currently be seen on YouTube, just do a search.
This is a sweet, heart-warming movie with a very likable cast like the movie's director and co-producer Jerry Paris as Walter's playboy co-worker, Brandon Cruz as his youngest son best known for his role in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" and of course the unforgettable women Shirley Jones, Tina Louise, Nanette Fabray, Sue Lyon, June Lockhart and others.
I love the time this movie was made; no big social issues weighed it down, no one slept around and while its topic has been done several times (before and after) still takes you back to a more innocent time not so long ago. A few years ago it played on a late-late night broadcast and luckily I managed to record it. I have never seen it since then or on video. It's too bad others can't share what makes this movie a somewhat forgotten gem especially being produced by another late great, Aaron Spelling.
It can currently be seen on YouTube, just do a search.
Buttinskys think they know best.
mark.waltz7 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Poor Hershel Bernardi. Recently widowed, and every woman he already knows or encounters either wants to be the next Mrs. Walter Benjamin or find him the next Mrs. Walter Benjamin. They include pesky sister-in-law Kay Medford (and her very tough pot roast), nosy neighbors Kathleen Freeman and Florence Halop, the divorced Shirley Jones (overdoing a weird dialect, and certainly no Shirley Partridge), the annoyingly clingy Nanette Fabray (and her weird taste in art), sexy housekeeper Joyce Van Patten (who's actually not a housekeeper), Sue Lyon as his far too open secretary, sultry school teacher Tina Louise, and most positively, the sweet June Lockhart.
Most of these women are basically all cartoon characters, all written with very annoying traits, and not one of them is it companion or stepmother for his two children. You begin to wonder about the writer and director's motives of presenting them this way. VIf male viewers don't come out of this desperate to join the eternal bachelorhood, they must have fallen asleep during the film. Why Bernardi doesn't tell any of them off (starting with the sister-in-law that even her nephews can't stand) Then, he's written to be completely unable to do basic household chores, referring to grocery shopping as purchasing quick cooking meat, only buying milk which his younger son refuses to drink. Even with its efforts to be funny, it ends up being very difficult to sit through because of these unpleasant characterizations.
Penny Marshall has a cameo (not even billed here) as a candidate for housekeeper working for Harry Morgan's employment agency. I give this a higher rating than I would have because I do like most of the actors. I just did not like how they were written. A deliberately bad "Cyrano de Bergerac" goes for laughs and fails miserably. When you try to force comedy on people, chances are you'll fail miserably and the lack of absolute subtlety makes this a complete disappointment.
Most of these women are basically all cartoon characters, all written with very annoying traits, and not one of them is it companion or stepmother for his two children. You begin to wonder about the writer and director's motives of presenting them this way. VIf male viewers don't come out of this desperate to join the eternal bachelorhood, they must have fallen asleep during the film. Why Bernardi doesn't tell any of them off (starting with the sister-in-law that even her nephews can't stand) Then, he's written to be completely unable to do basic household chores, referring to grocery shopping as purchasing quick cooking meat, only buying milk which his younger son refuses to drink. Even with its efforts to be funny, it ends up being very difficult to sit through because of these unpleasant characterizations.
Penny Marshall has a cameo (not even billed here) as a candidate for housekeeper working for Harry Morgan's employment agency. I give this a higher rating than I would have because I do like most of the actors. I just did not like how they were written. A deliberately bad "Cyrano de Bergerac" goes for laughs and fails miserably. When you try to force comedy on people, chances are you'll fail miserably and the lack of absolute subtlety makes this a complete disappointment.
Recalling some memorable dialog...
kent-edel1 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie only once -- probably when it first aired in 1970 -- but it made a lasting impression on me. It is indisputably sweet, and unobtrusively moral. Bernardi's character has an unassuming nobility that even transcends the excellent script. For example, when he reveals to her that he has been secretly watching Shirley Jones' character undressing -- as her bedroom window is unavoidably visible from Bernardi's apartment window -- he manages to make this act seem somehow innocent. He is astonished, and is finished as her suitor, when she finds this to be disgusting. (As I recall, her final line -- just before she slaps him -- is, "That's DISGUSTING!") Bernardi's scene with the too-young Sue Lyon is the most memorable and is the best proof of his character's nobility. She wants to pursue him (sexually, one gathers), but he recognizes that he is too old for her. When he protests as much, she retorts (I might have their ages wrong), "I'm 20, I know what I want." He responds with, "I'm 45, I know what I can't have." You can't improve on this.
As a measure of how this film has stuck with me over the last 37 years: when my kids don't like something that a neighbor or relative has cooked, I always find myself recalling the line, "No Aunt Hallie!" This is the chant that Bernardi's kids make when they contemplate yet another frozen meal cooked by their aunt -- the sister of their deceased mother -- who is a horrible cook and a rather cold person, but who obviously loves her sister's family and wants to help in some way.
I would love to see this movie again.
As a measure of how this film has stuck with me over the last 37 years: when my kids don't like something that a neighbor or relative has cooked, I always find myself recalling the line, "No Aunt Hallie!" This is the chant that Bernardi's kids make when they contemplate yet another frozen meal cooked by their aunt -- the sister of their deceased mother -- who is a horrible cook and a rather cold person, but who obviously loves her sister's family and wants to help in some way.
I would love to see this movie again.
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