- Onkel Fritz: [disguised as the female teacher Mrs. Darling] Excuse me, where is the hotel management school.
- Ziborius: Over there. I'm the principal.
- Onkel Fritz: So the way leads me to you.
- Ziborius: Ziborius.
- Onkel Fritz: Darling.
- Ziborius: Excuse me, do we know each other from earlier?
- Onkel Fritz: Unfortunately no.
- Ziborius: But dear lady said 'Darling'.
- Onkel Fritz: Oh, what unfortunate missunderstanding. My dear name is 'Darling'.
- Ziborius: Ah, Darling, the new cooking teacher. Hello. Kiss your hand. Are you doing well again?
- Onkel Fritz: By no means. I'm my niece. I mean my sister. I mean my sister cabled me that she is not doing well and she sent me here, because we can't leave you alone with the cooking classes.
- Andy: Uncle Fritz, wake up. He is sleeping like a sack again.
- [Suddenly sees Fritz on the floor, sleeping]
- Andy: Fritz, what are you doing down there?
- Onkel Fritz: You see, tonight I heard something falling down, but I didn't realise that it was me.
- Ziborius: Zipfl, has the new teacher arrived?
- Hieronymus Zipfl: Pardon me, who?
- Ziborius: The cooking teacher. The classes will began tomorrow. I don't understand. Wasn't there a phone call for me?
- Hieronymus Zipfl: Not a phone, telegram.
- Ziborius: Well?
- Hieronymus Zipfl: Tomorrow.
- Ziborius: Tomorrow? How do you know it?
- Hieronymus Zipfl: Because already here.
- Ziborius: I thought tomorrow.
- Hieronymus Zipfl: Well, yesterday tomorrow.
- Ziborius: And you want to give it to me only today, Zipfl?
- Andy: Where is Ms. Peters?
- Hotelportier: She left that moment.
- Andy: And where did she go?
- Hotelportier: Unfortunately I can't give out any information.
- Andy: [puts money in an envelope] Maybe you can give me small clue.
- Hotelportier: [takes the envelope] Ticket to Velden.
- Andy: Something else?
- Hotelportier: Not that I'm aware.
- Andy: [puts more money in another envelope] Maybe you are.
- Hotelportier: [takes the envelope] Phone call with Velden.
- Andy: Where exactly?
- Hotelportier: [gives Andy an empty envelope, Andy puts money in it and returns it, the receptionist takes it] Hotel management school "Luculus".
- Andy: Thank you.
- [leaves]
- Hotelportier: [puts all three envelopes inside his jacket] No problem, it's my job to give information.
- Onkel Fritz: [picks up the phone] Hello?
- [suddenly scared, puts some fabric over the phone to disguise his voice]
- Onkel Fritz: I told you already my uncle isn't here. What? He is dead. Away. In the puerperium.
- [slams down the phone]
- Onkel Fritz: I tell you, this is some day today.
- Andy: Next year we are going to cancel that day.
- Onkel Fritz: If we are going to survive it.
- Andy: Why? Are you preparing a new experiment?
- Onkel Fritz: I have to send you dearest greetings from my sister.
- Mr. Brown: Where is she? I wanted to introduce her to my mommy.
- Onkel Fritz: The mommy, the good mommy. How is she?
- Mr. Brown: Very good. Why?
- Onkel Fritz: Still in Oklahoma?
- Mr. Brown: Where is she?
- Onkel Fritz: Who? Your mommy?
- Mr. Brown: No, your sister.
- Onkel Fritz: With the mommy.
- Mr. Brown: In Oklahoma?
- Onkel Fritz: No, in Bielefeld, with my mommy.
- Mr. Brown: But I wanted to introduce her to my mommmy. She already knows her mommy.
- Mr. Brown: What about the inventions I wanted to buy?
- Onkel Fritz: Ah, no problem. All invetions and patents were built by me and my sister together. I am just like my ister, you can do the same thing with me.
- Mr. Brown: I can't introduce you to my mommy.
- Busebius: Hello, I'm Busebius, race manager of...
- Sheila Garrett: [interrupts him] We don't do advertisment for racing companies.
- Busebius: I just need Mr. Mohrenkopf.
- Sheila Garrett: We are an advertesment agency, not a detective office.
- Busebius: We found out that his nephew is in a business relationship with you.
- Sheila Garrett: Who is it?
- Busebius: A certain Andy Hart.
- Sheila Garrett: We'll see, if he is in a business relationship with us.
- Andy: [developing and checking photos Andy secretly took of Hanna/Renate] You see, Commercial sphings, I can always do it.
- Sheila Garrett: One thing you did for sure.
- Andy: What is it?
- Sheila Garrett: To be with me in the dark room.
- Andy: Ah, now I understand why it is so hot in here.
- Onkel Fritz: [Dressed as a woman] Isn't this a great boat, in which Hanna is driving.
- [suddenly realise Renate in front of him/her, thinking that this is Hanna]
- Onkel Fritz: But aren't you out there right now?
- Andy: Oh auntie, auntie. You caught the Wörthersee-disease.
- Onkel Fritz: Not that. Browny darling, do I look sick?
- Mr. Brown: Not at all, sweety.
- Onkel Fritz: Darling.
- Mr. Brown: If you look at me like that I get weak.
- Onkel Fritz: Well you should drink tomorrow a MOBIS-bottle with your coffee. Makes you strong.
- Racer: Where is Mohrenkopf?
- Busebius: Wow, you just drove round record.
- Racer: His invention MOBIS3 is a panacea.
- Busebius: Really? That's a cathastrophy?
- Busebius' assistant: No, it is real luck. We are going to win the race.
- Busebius: No, I just fired Mohrenkopf.
- Racer: You, you, you...
- Busebius: Idiot?
- Racer: Exactly.
- Busebius's assistant: [Fritz opened up the oil container of a car. Oil is coming out] What have you done again?
- Onkel Fritz: Don't worry, I just checked the oil.
- Busebius's assistant: Why? It is full.
- Onkel Fritz: It used to be.
- Busebius's assistant: We all have to do everything twice.
- [kicks Fritz, he lands under a different car]
- Busebius: Where is the crazy guy?
- Onkel Fritz: I'm here, what can I do for you?
- Busebius: What are you doing down there?
- Onkel Fritz: As you told me, I'm fixing the car.
- Busebius: I can see that. But it's the car of the competitor, you, you, you...
- Onkel Fritz: Idiot?
- Busebius: Exactly.