Guns of Darkness (1962)

David Niven: Tom Jordan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Jordan : [to his wife, Claire Jordan, as they shelter in a cave with rain pouring down outside]  Look at the rain. It's like England. Do you remember when we first arrived in England? And you were expecting to find a country full of green lawns, and stately homes, and tall titled men in tweed suits, making witty remarks and eating cucumber sandwiches, hmm? Remember the first few weeks all we did was sit in the railway hotel and watch the rain, pouring down on Pennington Station... and not a Lord came near us, hmm?

• Tom Jordan : Mr. Bryant goes out of his way to keep the staff happy and the wives, particularly the wives.

  Claire Jordan : Tom, you are wicked.

• Tom Jordan : You're on the property of Napier's International Plantations, known to us all affectionately as NIP. And when boss Bryant orders you into the chain gang, into the chain gang you go.

• Bryant : Napier's should appoint *you*, Mrs. Jordan, as public relations officer.

  Tom Jordan : Yes, well darling, you'd make a - splendid plantation hostess, one of Bryant's nippies.

  Claire Jordan : Oh, what an excellent idea, Tom! Now, when can I start, Mr. Bryant?

• Bryant : May I, as your host and as managing director of Napier's International Plantations, known to you all affectionately as NIP...

  Tom Jordan : Hear, NIP!

  Bryant : Known to you all affectionately as NIP, may I say how glad I am to see you all here tonight?

• Tom Jordan : You're a doctor, aren't you?

  Dr. Swann : I'm not a suicidal idiot!

• Tom Jordan : I'm taking him to the club. As a matter of fact, I'll be doing him a favor. They'll have a chance to show their hospitality to a genuine native. He'll be able to sit at the pool and sleep in that bed that Mr. Bryant uses for his weekend adventures.

• Bryant : You know, I wish you wouldn't make jokes. It'd be far better for your career with Napier's if you were to stop making jokes.

  Tom Jordan : Jokes?

• Tom Jordan : If you can't live with me, that's your problem.

• Tom Jordan : If we were the Swiss Family Robinson, I would find the dry martini tree and we'd all have a nice stiff cocktail.

• Claire Jordan : Oh, it's true, they're always doing it. Tramps, women, children, chickens, always crawling into cars. You'd think they want to live there.

  Tom Jordan : Maybe it's the housing shortage.

• Tom Jordan : Well, look at all that ash. Filthy smoking habits.

• Claire Jordan : No, Tom, no. I'm sorry but I really don't feel like it.

  Tom Jordan : I thought it might be comforting.

  Claire Jordan : It'll be more comforting if you could find us some food and water, or even a bed.