Fuelin' Around (1949)

Shemp Howard: Shemp

Quotes 

• Moe : [about Larry]  You know, he's the most intelligent imbecile I ever saw.

  Shemp : Hey! How about me?

  Moe : Oh you're much smarter. You're just an imbecile.

• Capt. Rork : Colonel, what does this mean?

  Col. Cluttz : It means you have captured three imposters, you dunderhead!

  [shows the real professor] 

  Col. Cluttz : *This* is Professor Sneed.

  General : Yes, and unless you give us that formula at once, you, your daughter, and your friends all will be shot!

  Prof. Sneed : I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't help you.

  Hazel Sneed : You see, General, my father has a very poor memory.

  Shemp : I've got a little booklet here - "How to Train Your Memory in Five Easy Lessons"!

  Moe : [to Leon]  Pardon me...

  [takes Leon's gun and hits Shemp with it] 

• Larry : Say, I beg your pardon. Do you have any idea what we're doing?

  Moe : Now that you mention it, no.

  Shemp : [to Moe]  Why don't you tell the General he ain't Professor Sneed? He couldn't invent the rocket fuel in a million years!

  Larry : [to Shemp]  I beg your pardon!

  Moe : Wait a minute, you ignoramuses! If they find out we're only carpet layers; they'll go back and grab the real professor... not only that, they'll shoot us!

  [Larry and Shemp are horrified] 

  Moe : Now we gotta fool them, savvy?

  Larry : You're right. It's our duty to posterior!