Half-Wits Holiday (1947)

Moe Howard: Moe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Moe : But we're organized.

  [holds up a card with the letters AAM on it] 

  Moe : The Amalgamated Association of Morons. Local six and seven eighths.

  Moe , Curly , Larry : We are morons! Tried and true! We will do our yell for you!

• Prof. Quackenbush : How would you boys like to make $1,000?

  Moe : Who do you have to murder?

  Prof. Quackenbush : Oh, nothing like that. All you have to do is let me make gentlemen of you.

  [the Stooges all flinch in horror] 

  Larry : No, no! Not that!

  Curly : Our father would never forgive us.

  Larry : There ain't been a gentleman in our family for fifty generations.

  Moe : Quit bragging.

• Mrs. Smythe-Smythe : [Moe hides a pie he was holding by sticking it to the ceiling]  My dear man. Do tell me about yourself.

  Moe : Well you see... well that is...

  [looks up to see the pie unsticking] 

  Moe : would you pardon me.

  Mrs. Smythe-Smythe : If you don't tell me about this metamorphosis. I will always feel that I've missed something.

  Moe : Lady, if you don't go right now, you're not going to miss anything.

  [starts to walk away, Mrs. Smythe-Smythe stops him] 

  Mrs. Smythe-Smythe : What's wrong? You act as though the Sword of Demacles is hanging over your head.

  Moe : Lady, you must be psychic.

  [walks away] 

  Mrs. Smythe-Smythe : I wonder what's wrong with that man?

  [looks up and the pie unsticks and falls on her face] 

• Curly : There's a hair in my soup.

  Moe : You're crazy. That's a crack in your plate.

  Curly : I never saw a crack go that way.

  [he makes a curving motion with his hand] 

  Moe : Well, that's neither hair nor there.