- Biff: What's the matter with comics?
- Dixie: I went into show business when I was seven years old. Two days later the first comic I ever met stole my piggy bank in a railroad station in Portland. When I was 11 the comics were looking at my ankles. When I was 14 they were...just looking. When I was 20 I'd been stuck with enough lunch checks to pay for a three-story house. Naw, they're shiftless, dame-chasing, ambitionless...
- S.B. Foss: Grand opera brought crowds like this into this lobby? Girls! That's what the public wants.
- Gee Gee Graham: The next time you girls pull something like that don't do it during my act. You know its tough enough doing something artistic for those lugs out there with you and Dolly calling yourselves by your right names.
- Moey - the Candy Butcher: [Knocking on dressing room door] Are you decent?
- Alice Angel: Oh, I wish he wouldn't say that: it sounds so cheap.
- Gee Gee Graham: Three people get crowded at a table for two. When some people get crowded, they push.
- Biff: [on stage] I am what is known as an archeologist. An archeologist is a guy that digs up mummies. Why the other day I dug up a mummy and he was a hepcat. How did I know he was a hepcat? Because he turned to me and said, "Do you dig me, Jack?"
- Biff: [Explaining to Mandy, after having once again been verbally slammed by Dixie] Sometimes these things take time.
- Mandy: They sure do!
- Biff: You gotta plan it out. Sometimes you finagle them this way, and other times you finagle them that way.
- Mandy: That's why I like sweet dumb girls like Alice: no finagling.
- Dixie: [singing] Come on and give me heat, Cause I don't like my music sweet, I want to feel my impulse beat, Take it off the e-string, Play it on the g-string. If this gives you a thrill, It happens much against my will, And only cause I caught a chill, Take it off the e-string, Play it on the g-string...
- Dixie: [singing] Brother, I'm makin' my eggs and bacon, Earnin' my pay, Just by shakin' this way, Four shows a day...
- Lolita La Verne: Why didn't you come down and get me? I called you, didn't I?
- Louie Grindero: I don't go near jails. I don't go near cops. You know that.
- Lolita La Verne: But, a cell crawlin' with floozies is all right for me? I can be booked like a common tramp, can't I?
- Biff: You won't lose any arguments. Not lookin' like that. You won't have time. You know, if this were a real lasso, I'd drag you up here like a calf in a a Western. Only no calf had a hide as pretty as that.
- Dixie: What would you do when you got me? You've had a little trouble putting a brand on, so far.
- The Princess Nirvena: What is dat?
- Jake: Dat? She does what you do. Only, they like it better. You two can trade notes at the wing ding they're throwing tonight.
- The Princess Nirvena: Do you think I would go? I - the Princess!
- Jake: Free drinks, Highness.
- The Princess Nirvena: I might come.
- Inspector Harrigan: Someone who was in the room immediately after the body was discovered took that g-string for reasons of his or her own.
- Dixie: What g-string?
- Inspector Harrigan: The murder weapon, Miss Daisy.
- Officer Pat Kelly: You burlesque people are on such a merry-go-round, you'll have me catchin' brass rings.
- Dixie: I'm not working burlesque for laughs. This little girl's got her way to make in the world. When you brought me here you promised me the moon. Now, I'm getting green cheese and not liking it. Why? I've been doing all right. My face hasn't fallen apart since yesterday?
- Dixie: I've left a lot of jobs in my time; but, I always stuck until the last kick in the pants if the job was worth having. And I'm not gonna be scared outta the best job I ever had by a couple of ghosts!
- Dixie: Once I thought I wanted to get out of burlesque. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm not so snooty anymore.
- Dixie: Dixie: Where are you going, honey?
- Dolly Baxter: Who, me? Why I'm going down to the Peerless Bar and Grill with the rest of you guys.
- [pauses]
- Dolly Baxter: For a midnight snack. And a whale of a time.