Smart Woman (1931)

Edward Everett Horton: Billy Ross

Quotes 

• Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : Aren't you having tea Mr. Ross?

  Billy Ross : I never touch it. My doctor tells me it's poison!

  Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : Really?

  Billy Ross : I'll get you some.

• Billy Ross : Believe me, she's bad medicine. One of those blondes - with a mother. They hunt together. What the gal shoots down, Mama drags home.

• Billy Ross : Well, I still insist you cannot teach a woman anything!

  Mrs. Nancy Gibson : You think we're too stupid to learn?

  Billy Ross : No, too clever.

• Mrs. Sally Ross : [reading the label]  Not more than 40 percent alcohol... um hmm... I thought so.

  Billy Ross : Why the idea! 40. Well, that's probably to keep the iron from rusting.

• Billy Ross : [Talking to Nancy]  All men are like that. You marry 'em. You put 'em in cages. You lock 'em up every night and you say "Oh, see my nice tame husband." But, you just leave them for a little while and you see what happens?

  Mrs. Sally Ross : Well, what does happen?

  Billy Ross : Peggy Preston. And your nice tame husband isn't tame anymore. He's wild! And you either get him back in the cage or you lose him.

• Billy Ross : Well, how 'bout meeting me, as long as it's a family party? I'm Bill Ross, Don's partner.

  Miss Peggy Preston : Oh, I know you. You always ran like a rabbit every time Don and I crossed your trail in town.

  Billy Ross : Well, I'll tell ya, I'm a two-way man. I can run from women and toward women.

• Mrs. Nancy Gibson : What's he doing in Philadelphia?

  Billy Ross : Who?

  Mrs. Nancy Gibson : Don.

  Billy Ross : Oh, yes, Philadelphia. Now, he's all right. I don't know. What's anybody do down there.

• Mrs. Nancy Gibson : If Don's all right, nothing else matters.

  Billy Ross : Well, he, eh, isn't exactly all right. You see, there was some oats.

  Mrs. Nancy Gibson : Oats?

  Billy Ross : Well, some wild oats.

  Mrs. Sally Ross : Oh, Bill you're a mess!

  Billy Ross : All right, then, there's a girl.

  Mrs. Nancy Gibson : A girl?

  Billy Ross : Don's gone haywire over a girl.

• Billy Ross : A wife should stick to her husband. If she doesn't, some other woman will!

• Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : I like the country. Don't you like the country, Mr. Ross?

  Billy Ross : Yes, when I'm in the city.

• Billy Ross : I'm not trying to be funny. I just don't believe in marriage, that's all. Have you ever been married Mrs. Preston?

  Mrs. Nancy Gibson : Why, Bill! Of course she has.

  Billy Ross : Oh, of course! I don't know what I could've been thinking of?

  Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : Oh, Mr. Ross, you're such an old tease!

  Billy Ross : Yes, I am sort of a tease.

• Billy Ross : I was born under Venus, myself. Well, that is, in a matter of speaking.

  Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : So was I.

  [With a wink and a grin] 

  Mrs. Preston - Peggy's Mother : What I know about you!

  Billy Ross : Oh, my, naughty, naughty, naughty.