- Mary: Please, Mr. Stuyvesant, I hate to keep turning you down this way.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Then why do it?
- Mary: Because, you Rolls Royces seem to think that every girl that works in the store is just dying to step right into your car and go places! There may be some girls like that, but, I'm not one of them!
- Recruiter: What's your name?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Elmer J. Styvesant.
- Recruiter: What's the "J" for?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Why, I was named after my father.
- Recruiter: Well, what's his name.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Elmer J. Styvesant.
- Recruiter: All right, Jack.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Julius!
- Sergeant Brophy: A fine lookin' bunch of mugs. Why, the enemy will probably laugh themselves to death when they look at this outfit.
- Sergeant Brophy: Listen to me, you birds! You're in the Army now! Do as your told and do it quick. Don't try to think. That's what I'm here for. You got two feet. Right and left. Remember which is which. That's all you got to remember for awhile.
- Sergeant Brophy: Hey, who do you think you are?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Elmer Stuyvesant the Second.
- Sergeant Brophy: I don't care if you're Henry the Eighth!
- Sergeant Brophy: What did you do before you got in the Army?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: I'm an associate of my father.
- Sergeant Brophy: What did he do?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: He's retired.
- Mary: You didn't use your family influence to get a soft job in the Army. You started from the bottom.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: I started below the bottom.
- Mary: Below?
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Yeah, I've been digging ditches for three weeks. Not a manicurist in the camp.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Well, gee whiz, you know, it's part of your job to keep us soldiers happy.
- Mary: Well, if you put it that way, I guess I'll have to say yes.
- Sergeant Brophy: [to Mary] If I see any of those worms hanging around your house, why, they'll never live to die in France.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Oh, listen, Sergeant. I just had to see my sweetheart to tell her goodbye before we sailed.
- Sergeant Brophy: You know, Stuyvesant, you're not a bad little guy. To tell you the truth, I was a bit romantic myself tonight. I was goin' out to see a skirt too.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Skirt?
- Sergeant Brophy: Yeah, a cookie.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Cookie.
- Nescopeck: [singing w/ukelele] From morn to dark, Be a lark, And just sing, And you can have your fling, Accomplish anything, If you will only sing...
- Sergeant Brophy: You stupid mug, get up! Get up, you lug! Get up. Why, you eel! You worm! Wait'll I get my hands on ya! I'll tear ya limb from limb! I'll strangle ya! Why you slimy serpent!
- Captain Scott: My personal congratulations. You are certainly a credit to K company. Sergeant, escort Pvt. Stuyvesant to the rear!
- Sergeant Brophy: Yes.
- Elmer J. Stuyvesant Jr.: Captain, if it's all the same to you, can I find it alone?