- Irene Rutherford: Hullo!
- Stanley Piper: [Swimming off the coast of Catalina in full suit, tie and hat] Good afternoon.
- Irene Rutherford: Where are you going?
- Stanley Piper: Japan!
- Nurse Phyllis Brown: [bottle reads take 1 pill every 2 days] How many pills did you take?
- Stanley Piper: 3 boxes.
- Stanley Piper: Even if I have to be married and divorced three times, you'll wait for me, won't you dear?
- Stanley Piper: You can save me - let's sneak out and get married.
- Nurse Phyllis Brown: And you said you weren't a trifler!
- Stanley Piper: [stutters, takes a drink] Will you marry me?
- Nurse Phyllis Brown: [stutters, takes a drink] Yes.
- Stanley Piper: Thanks! Let's have a fade-out without the usual clinch!
- Title Card: The opening scene of the trouble is a long shot of Piper Hall, with a doctor approaching the house. Cutting inside, we find the patient - gouty, grouchy and a girl-hater.
- Jeremiah Piper: I'm sending my fool nephew Stanley on a fishing trip - to keep him away from women. He falls in love with every girl he meets!
- Stanley Piper: Where's the strife - I mean wife?
- Scott Travis: She couldn't get away - some bathing suit censorship movement.
- Title Card: Loris Keene, of the Broadway Bathing Beauties, in her street clothes. - We'll see more of her later...
- Loris Keene: Oh, Daddy...
- Scott Travis: [to Stanley] I'm just like a father to her. She needs a rest, poor girl - all run down from overwork.
- Stanley Piper: She does look bad.
- Title Card: Irene Rutherford - who has for many years been unhappily unmarried.