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- Two thieves attempt to steal 80 million dollars of hidden Texas drug money from the famed ranch belonging to a dead member of the Cowboy Mafia.
- Stay-at-home dads, Ned Wazinski, an unemployed vending machine mechanic pushing fifty, and, Julian York, a former male stripper nearly half his age, meet on a park bench while watching their children play. Over the next several weeks as Ned and Julian get acquainted at the park, Ned notices a large volume of people entering and exiting an unmarked retail outlet across the street. After some investigation, Ned and Julian find out the "mystery store" is actually a front for an organized crime money laundering operation which frequently relocates to evade law enforcement. When Julian finds out his wife's high-paying career is about to come to an abrupt end, he proposes to Ned that they burglarize the "mystery store" before it vacates.