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- Introducing California Johnson. History Professor. Archeologist. Famous Explorer/Adventurer... well... almost. After being thwarted by a nemesis once again, Cali's rather down on his luck... until a mysterious map appears promising to lead him to one of the greatest finds of modern archeology: the Holy Guardrail, rumored to give the power to control all carbon dioxide emissions in the world. But when his mother, Henrietta, is kidnapped by militant environmentalists desperate for the Holy Guardrail, California, sidekick Parker, intern Dexter, and student Zelda get caught up in a race against time--and hippies--in the quest for the legendary Guardrail. Will he succeed, or will the Guardrail fall into the hands of the evil--and slightly psycho--Wanda VanDouh? Find out in California Johnson and the Second to Last Crusade.